[3mma_gal96]

Hi,
Ok, well my dad works full time and my mum works part time in a supermarket and has just finished a full time 3 year university degree. I am 15 and 1 of 4 kids- eldest middle, and sometimes feel like my parents really do despise everything about me. Because of my parents' responsibilities, I feel I hardly spend any time with them, and recently in my mum's last weeks of Uni, I went 6 days without seeing my mum completely. It's been pretty hard for me, because I have my GCSE's but am forced (never asked) to babysit my unruly younger brother+sister. I also feel a bit neglected, cause my parents just do things like hop in the car and drive to McDonals for an hour a time and stuff without telling me where they're going leaving me to babysit all the time. I don't mind helping out, but they're taking advantage, especially as when I'm in their company, all they do is criticise and shout at me. My mum used to be a hairdresser so when I asked her on the weekend if she'd cut my hair, she promised she would, but then she started doing artwork and lost it when I asked if she'd do it for me. Also, one of my close friends was diagnosed with anorexia this week and is hospital. I like to exercise and keep fit, and my parents were saying I was 'tired' and 'annoying' because I'm upset and that I need to stop exercising. This made me even more angry, as they're both overweight, and there's no way I'm ever getting like them. Then my mum said, "yeah, now run along and talk to your little eating disorder friends." And was calling me anorexic and stuff! I am in fact curvacious, but they wouldn't notice anything as they're so wrapped up in themselves. They also let my younger, and incredibly spoilt sister call me anything she likes; pizza face (cause I have one or two blemishes every now and then) ugly, etc and if I ever retaliate they have a go at me.
They just constantly nag and complain and make me feel like total and utter rubbish and I don't know what to do about it. And if I try telling them that, they're like "aww, get the violins out".
Help please?!

[kitriviolet]

go talk to a social worker and see what they can do for you! your local government probably also offers temporary shelters to people like you. sometimes its good to have a third person interfering and getting both parties to sit down and talk..if it really doesnt work, see if any relatives can take you, and resort to going to local temporary shelters if it doesnt work youre likely to find help from the social welfare department or sth equivalent..good luck!

[Norton1]

(Original post by kitriviolet)
go talk to a social worker and see what they can do for you! your local government probably also offers temporary shelters to people like you. sometimes its good to have a third person interfering and getting both parties to sit down and talk..if it really doesnt work, see if any relatives can take you, and resort to going to local temporary shelters if it doesnt work youre likely to find help from the social welfare department or sth equivalent..good luck!

Are you mental? This isn't anywhere near serious for social work or a temporary shelter.

[M1011]

Jesus Christ, this is some pretty horrific stuff. Have you considered writing to some starving Africans about your troubles? Maybe they can empathise?

[kitriviolet]

just in case anything goes wrong. my social worker gave me this advice too, so id like to share. not that id advice anyone to run off in first place..sorry if i sounded like that :/

(Original post by Norton1)
Are you mental? This isn't anywhere near serious for social work or a temporary shelter.

[Niki_girl]

(Original post by 3mma_gal96)
x

I know it can be hard sometimes with parents, and younger siblings, however, as you are older you will, unfortunately, be expected to rise above their name-calling, since they are younger.

Take the moral high ground, ignore your younger siblings - they will only continue if they think it annoys you - instead smile and say something like "judging someone by their appearence is very mean, you shouldn't do that", and then walk away or simpy try and talk to them face to face, by changing the conversation around and saying "now how would you like that if one of your friends said that to you, hmm?" don't get angry or try to discipline them - that's your parents job, but simply stay calm and point out that what they're doing to you is "mean" - but don't let it get to you, they're just children!

Your parents, like most people these days, are very busy, and sometimes it means that they have little time to spend with their kids, it's a shame, but I would presume that they're doing what they can, and since you're deemed responsible you are left to look after your younger siblings. Your parents probably just want to get out of the house for a bit, that's normal, but perhaps if you feel like you need some time to yourself or to go out or study instead of babysit, the best way to go about it is to approach your parents like an adult, and say simply "Mum/Dad, I really need to do X or Y, can we work something out with babysitting arrangements so that I can have a couple of hours to myself? When could this be possible?" and then, like adults, you can discuss some sort of arrangement, particularly if you're doing exams at the moment.

Have you considered going out (obviously telling your parents first) to a library or somewhere, if you really need some peace & quiet for a couple of hours? Might be a good idea for studying or just relaxing with some books...

As you get older, you will see less of your parents, it's a fact. By the time you move out or go to university you might only see your parents every few months if you move far away! It's sad, but it's just what happens as you grow up.

I really don't know the situation, but your parents probably don't despise everything about you! They might get stressed or annoyed, and criticise something about you, or lose patience, but that's just people sadly. Even the kindest, smartest, most generous people will be criticised at some point in their lives, sometimes it's because they're misjudged, or, who knows, maybe your parents really don't appreciate you, and one day they'll realise what they're missing! Until then though, just grit your teeth and, once again, retain the moral high ground.

If your parents complain about something you do after you tried your best, simply tell them (in a calm, reasonable way). If they shout at you or something, just look them straight in the eye and say, "I'm sorry, I tried my best". Then walk away from the situation entirely.

My mum gets angry if I disturb her whilst she's doing something, even if it's something she promised. It's a common thing, some people just get impatient, some people just have different priorities. Wait until she's not doing anything, and doesn't seem stressed, then say please and ask her again, without whining or complaining that she didn't do it last time

It may be, that you're just very un-like your parents. So am I, really, and sometimes I do look at my family and think "they don't know anything about me" or "I'm so different to them". A lot of people (especially teenagers) feel this way, the best thing to do is try and occasionally see from their point of view, but don't lose sight of who you are. Simply try and co-operate where possible, but accept that you are different from them, and that perhaps, they will never completely understand you, and you will never completely understand them.

I'm sorry about your friend , it sounds like you have a lot going on in your life right now, and maybe your parents are too busy to see that. It happens. The best thing you can do is remind yourself that your friend is ill, and that no matter how bad you feel about yourself, your friend clearly needs some support with their own body image. Obviously, you sound like you're aware of this, but maintain a healthy lifestyle and don't let yourself be affected by your friend's eating disorder, whether consciously or not.

Your parents may sound unsympathetic, but believe me, there are some people's parents who will be much harsher to them. It's bad that the entire world can't be made up of benevolent people, but hey, this is REAL life, somtimes your own family are your worst critics, sometimes they just don't understand, but just keep your chin up, and keep going. One day soon you will have your own life, independent of your family, and when you have kids one day, try not to repeat what you perceive as their mistakes!

Good luck