[Anonymous]

So not sure where to start here but my life has been a ****ing disaster, Im so stuck in the past with all my mistakes and making my life so hard for myself that it has made me miserable and depressed.

Im 25 y/o man and have basically ruined my life by getting a 2.2 in my Economics degree, when I graduated in 2008, since when I have been getting mainly admin contracts and I can't get onto Accountancy/Finance grad schemes due to my 2.2. The problem is I know I got my 2.2 due to mental health problems and depression at uni. I didn't enjoy the 3 years I was there, I was constantly bantered by my house 'mates' about my nose calling me a jew, even though Im not. I just hated them for it as I had 0 self esteem and couldn't even look any girls in the eye cos of it. Thing is IM not unattractive apart from my nose and am tall, dark but yeh, I just had self induced depression due to low confidence. To supplement this, I have keloid scars on my shoulders and back which make me feel **** about my body. I just didn't get my depression treated at uni and come out with this 2.2, which employers just think Im lazy, even though I have decent A levels and A at Maths.

Obviously, I have never had a girlfriend due to my chronically low self esteem. My problem is I feel like I had the uni experience taken away from me and all I can do is look back and wonder if I had confidence then, I would have got an internship and been in the dire position Im in now. Also, I would have got a buff body if I hadn't felt like there was no point due to my scars and nose.

Anyway, whilst at uni, everyday I had to hold myself back from jumping off the classroom block due to my emotional turmoil. This obv distracted a fair amount from being able to concentrate. I just have so much anger pent up inside. I feel like Im more confident now but I can't get back the best days of my life. I know its not healthy to look back but I really can't help it. Driving over a bridge today, just trying not to stop and throw myself off. Eugh, I just want to end it.

I think about how I used to play cricket serioulsy when I was younger and loved playing in a team at county level and didn't do any of that or tennis at uni. I feel like I have loyalty to teams and want to help people and put a team on the map.

[Anonymous]

anyone help?

[Anonymous]

In the nicest possible way, man up ! So what if you have a big nose and body scars, so do i, you're not alone. Slap yourself around the face, get out there and work your arse off and get to where you want to be. **** your old housemates, theyre pricks. You're better than just dwelling on the past feeling bad about yourself. I dont know much about opportunities in economics for 2:2 graduates, but im sure theres something you can do, re-takes? If not a 2:2 isnt the end of the world, work your way up if not. You have to be pro-active and i've always found being persistent normally works.

[The_Lonely_Goatherd]

Have you seen any mental health professionals since leaving uni? If not, that would be a good first place to start

[Anonymous]

(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
Have you seen any mental health professionals since leaving uni? If not, that would be a good first place to start

No not really, I had a 'telephone assessment' which didn't help much and was supposed to be on waiting list for ocunselling but haven't heard yet. Tbh, Im pretty sure subconscious, unresolved issues from childhood are partly to blame frmo some pretty weird behaviour when I was 14, which I have a lot of guilt about. My dad was saying when I was younger, I sed to have real spark and competitive nature and didn't take **** from bullied but I have none of that now. If Im honest, Im pretty sure I will top myself at some point during my life, I can't get much these 'best years' and I don't know whether that will be next year or 20 years in the figure when I I'll have young children. I just can't help thinking about how my life should have turned out and how it actually has. I dont think counselling would even work

[The_Lonely_Goatherd]

(Original post by Anonymous)
No not really, I had a 'telephone assessment' which didn't help much and was supposed to be on waiting list for ocunselling but haven't heard yet. Tbh, Im pretty sure subconscious, unresolved issues from childhood are partly to blame frmo some pretty weird behaviour when I was 14, which I have a lot of guilt about. My dad was saying when I was younger, I sed to have real spark and competitive nature and didn't take **** from bullied but I have none of that now. If Im honest, Im pretty sure I will top myself at some point during my life, I can't get much these 'best years' and I don't know whether that will be next year or 20 years in the figure when I I'll have young children. I just can't help thinking about how my life should have turned out and how it actually has. I dont think counselling would even work

Normal counselling might not but there's a chance psychodynamic counselling or therapy might

[advent2]

(Original post by Anonymous)
So not sure where to start here but my life has been a ****ing disaster, Im so stuck in the past with all my mistakes and making my life so hard for myself that it has made me miserable and depressed.

Im 25 y/o man and have basically ruined my life by getting a 2.2 in my Economics degree, when I graduated in 2008, since when I have been getting mainly admin contracts and I can't get onto Accountancy/Finance grad schemes due to my 2.2. The problem is I know I got my 2.2 due to mental health problems and depression at uni. I didn't enjoy the 3 years I was there, I was constantly bantered by my house 'mates' about my nose calling me a jew, even though Im not. I just hated them for it as I had 0 self esteem and couldn't even look any girls in the eye cos of it. Thing is IM not unattractive apart from my nose and am tall, dark but yeh, I just had self induced depression due to low confidence. To supplement this, I have keloid scars on my shoulders and back which make me feel **** about my body. I just didn't get my depression treated at uni and come out with this 2.2, which employers just think Im lazy, even though I have decent A levels and A at Maths.

Obviously, I have never had a girlfriend due to my chronically low self esteem. My problem is I feel like I had the uni experience taken away from me and all I can do is look back and wonder if I had confidence then, I would have got an internship and been in the dire position Im in now. Also, I would have got a buff body if I hadn't felt like there was no point due to my scars and nose.

Anyway, whilst at uni, everyday I had to hold myself back from jumping off the classroom block due to my emotional turmoil. This obv distracted a fair amount from being able to concentrate. I just have so much anger pent up inside. I feel like Im more confident now but I can't get back the best days of my life. I know its not healthy to look back but I really can't help it. Driving over a bridge today, just trying not to stop and throw myself off. Eugh, I just want to end it.

I think about how I used to play cricket serioulsy when I was younger and loved playing in a team at county level and didn't do any of that or tennis at uni. I feel like I have loyalty to teams and want to help people and put a team on the map.

There are plenty of millionaires out there who never even had a university education. My brother knows a millionaire who can't read or write. It isn't the end of the world getting a 2.2 in your degree. Getting a good classification in your degree and having the time of your life at uni is not the only measure of success in this world.

You're 25 and you could potentially live until you are 100 years old depending upon how healthy you are and with life expectancy increasing all the time. That means you have lived 25% of your life so far so no, you haven't ruined your life.

Ray Kroc didn't turn McDonald's into the worldwide success it is today until he was past 50 years of age. Buckminster Fuller didn't achieve any success until he past 30 years of age. Abraham Lincoln failed loads of elections and the love of his life died before he became President of the United States of America.

Failure will only keep you down if you let it keep you down. You can't change the past and the future doesn't even exist yet so the only time you have to make something of your life is in the here and now-in the present.

Join a cricket club, seriously, you won't be the oldest there. I'm 26 in July and I've just joined a Mauy Thai Boxing Club. A guy I was partnered up with last night was 45 and he only started a few months ago. You're not as old as you think you are.

I'm not saying joining a cricket club will be the solution to your problems because it won't but it will help. It will improve your fitness and self-esteem and you will make new friends. I would recommend getting some counselling too or contacting the charity Open Mind because of your suicidal thoughts.

If employers think you are lazy because you have a 2.2, prove them wrong. Do some voluntary work. Excel in whatever job you have to get good references.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by advent2)
There are plenty of millionaires out there who never even had a university education. My brother knows a millionaire who can't read or write. It isn't the end of the world getting a 2.2 in your degree. Getting a good classification in your degree and having the time of your life at uni is not the only measure of success in this world.

You're 25 and you could potentially live until you are 100 years old depending upon how healthy you are and with life expectancy increasing all the time. That means you have lived 25% of your life so far so no, you haven't ruined your life.

Ray Kroc didn't turn McDonald's into the worldwide success it is today until he was past 50 years of age. Buckminster Fuller didn't achieve any success until he past 30 years of age. Abraham Lincoln failed loads of elections and the love of his life died before he became President of the United States of America.

Failure will only keep you down if you let it keep you down. You can't change the past and the future doesn't even exist yet so the only time you have to make something of your life is in the here and now-in the present.

Join a cricket club, seriously, you won't be the oldest there. I'm 26 in July and I've just joined a Mauy Thai Boxing Club. A guy I was partnered up with last night was 45 and he only started a few months ago. You're not as old as you think you are.

I'm not saying joining a cricket club will be the solution to your problems because it won't but it will help. It will improve your fitness and self-esteem and you will make new friends. I would recommend getting some counselling too or contacting the charity Open Mind because of your suicidal thoughts.

If employers think you are lazy because you have a 2.2, prove them wrong. Do some voluntary work. Excel in whatever job you have to get good references.

yeh I suppose, cheers for your reply. I just feel like I haven't gone through the passges of life that most young people do and it makes me depressed seeing young people at sixth form with girlfriends/boyfriends and uni students like this and thinking I have missed out on all this, like my rites of passage. All I can see ahead is long hours at work and marriage. Have never quite got things right in my life. Whereas my bro has always had a great life, easy girlfriends etc.

[Anonymous]

I've probably underachieved myself or perhaps it's just not my time yet?! Or your time yet?

You need to change your way of thinking. With a depressive mindset and reasoning, there can often be very little logic.

I'm sure there are also plenty of positives and strengths about you as a person.

And money isn't everything. People define success in different ways.

Plenty of people in the same boat as you, you're certainly not alone. And certainly not when it also comes to looks and aesthetic insecurities...

[advent2]

(Original post by Anonymous)
yeh I suppose, cheers for your reply. I just feel like I haven't gone through the passges of life that most young people do and it makes me depressed seeing young people at sixth form with girlfriends/boyfriends and uni students like this and thinking I have missed out on all this, like my rites of passage. All I can see ahead is long hours at work and marriage. Have never quite got things right in my life. Whereas my bro has always had a great life, easy girlfriends etc.

I can see where you're coming from because I feel like that sometimes too. I often see couples and think 'what if? or ponder on whether or not I have made the most of all my time here on this planet.

It's pointless comparing yourself to others though. Life is like climbing a mountain. There will always be people ahead of you, some on the same level and there will always be people behind you. It doesn't matter what it is you achieve in life, there will be someone out there who is doing better or has already done what you have done (unless you're a record breaker or true pioneer.)

Like Baz Luhrrman states in his song, sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and in the end it is only with yourself.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I've probably underachieved myself or perhaps it's just not my time yet?! Or your time yet?

You need to change your way of thinking. With a depressive mindset and reasoning, there can often be very little logic.

I'm sure there are also plenty of positives and strengths about you as a person.

And money isn't everything. People define success in different ways.

Plenty of people in the same boat as you, you're certainly not alone. And certainly not when it also comes to looks and aesthetic insecurities...

I think I just wanted to be succesful to stick it to the people who gave me **** at school and I just don't know what I good at. All I know is I was considered pretty good at sport but you cant exactly pursue that as a career. I don't think Im that bright, moderately so but how can I be successful if Im not that good at anything?

[mbbx5va2]

Hey man

This is quite an old thread now. But I can help with some of your problems as I've been through something similar. PM me if you want.

[ash92:)]

Hi. May I refer you to the following thread http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...postcount=3750
You may find it useful.

You are not a failure, there must be several things you have achieved in your life as a result of who you are - whether that be an achievement of academia, sport, friendship, trust, love, respect, or whatever else.
You must not forget what those who love and adore you define you as. And then see yourself through there eyes.