A question for the cheaters

Original post by pinkangelgirl

why why why why why do people get into relationships and cheat.

It is so sad.

whats worse is when even the people who say they could never cheat on someone end up cheating- yeh happened to me!

i hate cheating so much!! just dump them/leave dont cheat.

I suppose people are only as faithful as their options.

Here's a situation I read about. Woman married shorter man. Shorter man apparently treater her like a princess. Woman cheated on taller man. Shorter man found out, left her. Woman married taller man. Shorter man committed suicide. Woman wasn't treated as well by taller man, in fact he abused her. Taller man cheated on woman with about 4 other women. Taller man makes two of the women pregnant.

That sounds messed up? I've condensed it and left lots of stuff out, it only gets worse if you read the whole lot.

Reply 6

username917703

17

Original post by jazzykinks

I cheated. I was in love with my best friend but dated a guy and became his girlfriend because I thought I was over said best friend. Clearly, I wasn't. I'd asked my bestie if we would ever be in a relationship and he vowed that we wouldn't -- a couple of weeks later, he said he was in love with me and wanted to be with me. I can't say I feel guilty for cheating. I feel that my heart never belonged to anyone else.

Why not?

You can't blame it on circumstance, you chose to do it.

Original post by RichyFrench

I understand that your heart wasn't in it, and that you wanted your best friend.. What I don't understand is why you didn't have the balls to admit that to your boyfriend and finish things so you wouldn't have to cheat on him to get what you wanted.

Can you explain why you decided to cheat rather than finish it with him? I'd much to be told that you still weren't over the other guy, than to be cheated on with him.

People place too much value on relationships so when they're single they will rush into another one for the sake of it so they're not alone or to help them "get over" an ex, without giving themselves time to heal.

If the ex comes running back they will cheat. It's so selfish.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 7

Ferrus

19

I'd need a girlfriend in order to cheat. :indiff:

Reply 8

I guess I did once. I was in a long distance relationship and about 4 months into it I did kiss somebody else, it was a party and there was a lack of beds so I shared the bed with him, but I stopped him from touching me any other way.
This was only because the circumstances were difficult that I did this. I admit the kiss was initiated by me but that's what happens when you need some contact, and after all... I am at University. Anyway, this person I guess I cheated on was quite flirty anyway so there was often conflict between us. We got on so well and I do kind of miss him - we have split now. Time to move on...

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Reply 9

Original post by DannyJC

I guess I did once. I was in a long distance relationship and about 4 months into it I did kiss somebody else, it was a party and there was a lack of beds so I shared the bed with him, but I stopped him from touching me any other way.
This was only because the circumstances were difficult that I did this. I admit the kiss was initiated by me but that's what happens when you need some contact, and after all... I am at University. Anyway, this person I guess I cheated on was quite flirty anyway so there was often conflict between us. We got on so well and I do kind of miss him - we have split now. Time to move on...

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I'm 6 months into the LDR; in Florida, at a uni with loads of girls; parties pretty much every weekend. I'm still holding it, but I guess that I'm like that - I never let my guard down.

Reply 10

Original post by ct2k7

I'm 6 months into the LDR; in Florida, at a uni with loads of girls; parties pretty much every weekend. I'm still holding it, but I guess that I'm like that - I never let my guard down.

Well, I have been in a long distance relationship before that one in which I exchanged a kiss with someone else. I guess it just depends on the needs of the person really. In my first long distance, I was cheated on and dumped just like that; my second LDR followed and I guess I was looking out for myself more that time. They are really hard to see through, especially as I hadn't - or haven't - ever met these two people physically. Have you been in physical contact with the person your with right now? Or have you always been distanced? Also, is this your first ever LDR? See, I was like you within my first one, really strong, but the second time over I was less vulnerable and more determined to look out for myself and my needs.

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Reply 11

Original post by DannyJC

Well, I have been in a long distance relationship before that one in which I exchanged a kiss with someone else. I guess it just depends on the needs of the person really. In my first long distance, I was cheated on and dumped just like that; my second LDR followed and I guess I was looking out for myself more that time. They are really hard to see through, especially as I hadn't - or haven't - ever met these two people physically. Have you been in physical contact with the person your with right now? Or have you always been distanced? Also, is this your first ever LDR? See, I was like you within my first one, really strong, but the second time over I was less vulnerable and more determined to look out for myself and my needs.

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That must have been heartbreaking - betraying trust is just horrible.

Yeah, we've hd physical contact and sexual contact. First LDR, first relationship. We don't talk to each other everyday, but the times we do, we cherish them. My SO was the other one who pushed me to do this, because he saw it as me doing what I've always wanted to do.

Reply 12

Original post by ct2k7

That must have been heartbreaking - betraying trust is just horrible.

Yeah, we've hd physical contact and sexual contact. First LDR, first relationship. We don't talk to each other everyday, but the times we do, we cherish them. My SO was the other one who pushed me to do this, because he saw it as me doing what I've always wanted to do.

Strangely enough, I was talking to the first guy who cheated on me today. We are actually good friends, even though I had blocked him off twitter, (where I met both people I went into LDRs with), I added him back later on. He is in a happy relationship now, with someone who lives quite far away from him, but he has the ability to see this person. He had no ability to see me. I don't really mind now, I'm kind of happy for him and he is like 24 when I'm 18. I don't feel ready to commit much to anybody, in fact, it kind of scares me still. I don't want to end up spending my life with someone, when I could use opportunities to meet other great people across the world and go through life independently. But of course, I will want to settle down, just like everyone else does, when the time comes.
When I was in my first relationship, I really believed in true love and was blinded to the fact that others could be out there that would be better suited to me. After my second LDR my confidence in love is bruised and it's hard for me to connect to people in a loving and passionate way in night clubs and bars. I can get a little shut off and timid. My confidence is improving now, but I do miss the wonderful texts and tweets and little confidence boosts that a LDR gave me, and crave this kind of attention again. This time, however, I'm looking for someone closer to home, something a little less 'complicated' I guess.
It's hard to find guys that aren't all about sex and exchanging pics though, I'm trying to look for that gentleman out there.

Do you believe in love at first sight? It's an illusion, I don't care.

Reply 13

Original post by DannyJC

Strangely enough, I was talking to the first guy who cheated on me today. We are actually good friends, even though I had blocked him off twitter, (where I met both people I went into LDRs with), I added him back later on. He is in a happy relationship now, with someone who lives quite far away from him, but he has the ability to see this person. He had no ability to see me. I don't really mind now, I'm kind of happy for him and he is like 24 when I'm 18. I don't feel ready to commit much to anybody, in fact, it kind of scares me still. I don't want to end up spending my life with someone, when I could use opportunities to meet other great people across the world and go through life independently. But of course, I will want to settle down, just like everyone else does, when the time comes.
When I was in my first relationship, I really believed in true love and was blinded to the fact that others could be out there that would be better suited to me. After my second LDR my confidence in love is bruised and it's hard for me to connect to people in a loving and passionate way in night clubs and bars. I can get a little shut off and timid. My confidence is improving now, but I do miss the wonderful texts and tweets and little confidence boosts that a LDR gave me, and crave this kind of attention again. This time, however, I'm looking for someone closer to home, something a little less 'complicated' I guess.
It's hard to find guys that aren't all about sex and exchanging pics though, I'm trying to look for that gentleman out there.

Do you believe in love at first sight? It's an illusion, I don't care.

I know what you mean - in fact, I didn't want a relationship because of the fact that I was going to be going away for a year. We've known each other for about 8 months before it happened, first saw each other in mid October, then much more happened in November, where we slept in the same room and bed for two/three weeks. It was only half way through that two/three week spread that we declared it. That said, 3/4 months of flirting with each other every single day beforehand sort of set things up. We were talking to each other on Skype ever day from March onwards. The friendship did build up into a relationship.

People can like me and not like me - for a lot of people, I am not datable, I'm just too short, I'm shorter than most women, and most people in my height are extremely small or still in school. I'm just 5'2" and of a stocky build - and I have lots of hair. People call me a muscle cub. It weeds out a lot of people, so the people who do fall in love with me are strongly attracted to my personality, though, when someone tells you that you're perfect, and protects you from other people, even to the point of jealousy at someone flirting with me (at the start of it all), it does set precedent. We don't match each other in every way, but we're not polar opposites. We have a few differences, but it's healthy - having someone that fits you exactly could be kind of awkward in a way - I like diversity. That's not to say that a few things he does which can piss me off - though I still can tell whether he does them to purposely make me angry (I'm very attractive when I'm angry apparently).

One thing I do have a problem with, is people throwing themselves at me, because of my financial worth. I don't publicize my financial information, or my jobs, but there is the inevitable when I dress well. I can look handsome, and I do have a good sense of style.

We're both technology freaks, and have similar tastes in things. But he said what attracted himself to me, was that he has never seen anyone care about things in the way I do. I will go out of my way to protect friends; I am a harsh but fair person. He knows how I will react to things - and this isn't easy because I can be fairly unpredictable at times. Sure, there may be people better suited to me out there, but at this time, I have someone who cares for me, and that someone is in my heart. For someone to have been so close to me, it rattled my cage. No one, thus far, bar him, has ever been able to get through to me.

So no, I don't believe in love at first sight.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 14