People who have boyfriends/girlfriends at uni and then are not together over summer..

Okay this question is for people who have a boyfriend/girlfriend that they have met at university but when you go away from university at the Summer are a couple of hours away from each other.

When you go home for the summer (My summer break until I go back to uni is from now until September) and therefore are not 10 minutes or so away from each other like at uni, how often do you contact each other? Do you text throughout the day? Ensure that you skype quite often or have a regular phone call? How often do you visit each other throughout the Summer?

When me and my boyfriend are away from uni at the summer, my boyfriend never asks to skype me, I always have to ask. He also never calls me on his own accord, I have to call him or ask him to call me. If he texts me sometimes it won't be till late in the afternoon, and then if i do text him back he takes hours to reply back. He doesn't seem 'keen' to organise when we will be seeing each other over summer, it has to be me who brings it up... Am I doing too much chasing?

Reply 1

jazzykinks

Mine's slightly different; my boyfriend lives in a different country during the holidays! We keep in contact via Facebook but don't message each other daily -- once every couple of days or whenever something interesting happens. We Skype around twice a week, sometimes three times a week max. I'm also going over to his for 5 weeks.

Perhaps you are doing too much chasing, but he's being completely lazy and it seems like you're just a 'uni girlfriend' and that whilst he's at home, he feels that he doesn't have a duty towards you. I think you should initiate a talk with him about this and tell him how you feel. It's okay if he's genuinely busy but it sounds slightly suspicious!

Reply 2

sophie5

Original post by sarah-89

Play him at his own game, play hard to get and let HIM do the chasing :colone:

Reply 3

Ben_LiveYourDreams

Before taking the above advice and going into mindgames, actually tell him how you feel.
Relationships are built on communication, not mind games.

Reply 4

sarah-89

Original post by Ben_LiveYourDreams

Before taking the above advice and going into mindgames, actually tell him how you feel.
Relationships are built on communication, not mind games.

I told him how I feel and he hasn't really done anything about it.

Reply 5

Studentus-anonymous

Original post by sarah-89

I told him how I feel and he hasn't really done anything about it.

Maybe he isn't that bothered?

A lot of people are pretty hands off in relationships, maybe it's their nature, maybe they just aren't into the relationship as much, who knows.

Ask him why he never skypes much or whatever, don;t make it accusingly, but his answer should help you suss him out.

Reply 6

Ben_LiveYourDreams

Original post by sarah-89

I told him how I feel and he hasn't really done anything about it.

It sounds like you haven't told him in clear enough terms.

No-one on TSR knows you or your BF, so no one is at liberty to speculate, and generally speculation = negative = paranoia, which may harm the relationship without being correct.

You need to spend time telling him exactly how you feel, so not just 'You don't speak to me enough over summer', but go hardcore into your feelings.
Say what communciation means to you, and how you rate it as an intergral part of your relationship.

In all that, I don't mean attack him for what his doing, because you have feelings for him or you would not have made this post. As poster above me said, don't accuse him and say 'YOU don't do this, or YOU don't this, or even YOU are making me feel', but use ' I currently feel upset because I believe that WE are not speaking enough. This makes ME feel. I think I would feel better if WE spoke at every 3 days on skype for 10 minutes, or if WE got to see each other more often'.

Using language like WE makes it sound more unifying (like you want to be with him more) whereas saying YOU will make him feel more alienated from you.