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I think I have depression.

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    (Original post by Publius)
    Depression is just the natural reaction to the realisation that anything you can do is entirely futile and pointless.
    that does depend on your perception of death... just because you won't be around to see the outcome of your actions, doesn't mean they had an effect on the world. I agree that the system we live in is pointless, we're not getting anywhere at any speed, rather just going backwards, down into the whirlpool of turds. Those living purely in the system, who think that life is a job, a career, school grades, getting a nice car/house, are the most prone to a depressive state of mind.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There is a difference between being sad and being depressed. Of course those families are in deep, deep pain but that doesn't mean they're suffering from depression. Depression choose you, you don't choose it.
    Surely people who are sad and have sit lives are more prone to developing depression?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Surely people who are sad and have sit lives are more prone to developing depression?
    And people who work as civil servants are more prone to developing cardiovascular disease; I wouldn't go as far as to say people who work as civil servants have cardiovascular disease.

    Personally I don't think you're depressed. Sad, yes; hopelessly neurotic, yes; but not depressed.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Surely people who are sad and have sit lives are more prone to developing depression?
    this is where you're not getting what i say... Life, external reality, is not ****, it's not something you have great control over, it's not something that can simply be described as '****'. Life isn't ****, the inside of yourself is, and that's why you see life as ****. And if you would consider what I said, perhaps you will be less inclined to say "life is ****", because that basically says "I am ****", doesn't it?
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    The sun's shining. I recommend you spend more time outdoors and get some exercise while it's nice.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    But if I go to the doctors, what would they do? They would most probably (if it turned out to be true) put me on medication, put it on my medical record, make it known to people...

    No thanks.

    I just want to sort it out for myself. Thanks to all those who have offered me help in the past - but any concrete things I should do? (Besides tell anyone in real life).
    I have never suffered depression - but the way I deal with thing's when I get upset and stressed is perspective. I know it doesn't work for everyone but I really recommend comparing your life to those even less fortunate to you, depending on who you are that could make you more depressed but it could have the opposite effect and make you realise how lucky you are and that you should be making the most of your life.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    What would work for me is having a nice boyfriend.
    A relationship will never fix everything. If you have depression anyway, your ability to be in a healthy relationship would be somewhat compromised.
    Going back through your old posts, it's sad that you seem to think that the most important thing in life is being in a relationship, and that it would bring you happiness. It really isn't the be all and end all of life.
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    I can understand you not wanting to go to the doctors, majority of the time they will prescribe medication and teh therapy is so half arsed (the NHS ones in the UK are anyways) that it's pointless.

    However, I also think that if you're not going down the above route then you just have to grow some balls.

    Only way to get over something is to get over it.
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    (Original post by magicmuggle)
    A relationship will never fix everything. If you have depression anyway, your ability to be in a healthy relationship would be somewhat compromised.
    Going back through your old posts, it's sad that you seem to think that the most important thing in life is being in a relationship, and that it would bring you happiness. It really isn't the be all and end all of life.
    That's what so many people have said. So what am I to believe now?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    That's what so many people have said. So what am I to believe now?
    That other things matter in life - I think you do need to talk to a doctor or a therapist, because if something is stopping you from seeing that then you need to be checked out.
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    (Original post by magicmuggle)
    That other things matter in life - I think you do need to talk to a doctor or a therapist, because if something is stopping you from seeing that then you need to be checked out.
    I care about other things in life, but apparently others think it's not important.
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    (Original post by hassi94)
    Whilst I don't know that much, I really don't think you have depression. You say that having a boyfriend would solve it - then it isn't depression.
    Lonelyness / lack of a relationship can trigger (usually minor/moderate) depression, just as grief can/etc. It might not be the causing factor in reoccuring depression, but it can be an aggravating factor.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    What would work for me is having a nice boyfriend.
    I have two things to say to that. Firstly, you can be happy single. There is no such thing as "I'm not one of those", before you say it - I know you're not right now, but you can be, and you should be. There's not much you can do to improve your environment if that sucks, but purely out of things you have control over, there is nothing more important for your quality of life more than your self-esteem. Get on top of it.

    Secondly, relationships are a two-way thing. There's no less cruel-sounding way to say this, so here goes. A boyfriend would make you happy, but who would you make happy? For the most part, nobody wants to get into a relationship with someone who can't handle their own life. That is an incredibly sad fact of life for those who genuinely do suffer from depression, and is kind of the big problem with depression anyway - it's self-perpetuating. That is exactly why people who have fallen into this kind of downward spiral need some kind of medical intervention to get them back on track.
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    (Original post by rmhumphries)
    Lonelyness / lack of a relationship can trigger (usually minor/moderate) depression, just as grief can/etc. It might not be the causing factor in reoccuring depression, but it can be an aggravating factor.
    If I have to admit, I'm genuinely lonely inside. Just because you're surrounded by people it doesn't mean you're not lonely.
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    (Original post by flibdoo)
    I have two things to say to that. Firstly, you can be happy single. There is no such thing as "I'm not one of those", before you say it - I know you're not right now, but you can be, and you should be. There's not much you can do to improve your environment if that sucks, but purely out of things you have control over, there is nothing more important for your quality of life more than your self-esteem. Get on top of it.
    Society portrays the idea that you cannot be happy without a partner. I'm starting to believe it day by day.

    Secondly, relationships are a two-way thing. There's no less cruel-sounding way to say this, so here goes. A boyfriend would make you happy, but who would you make happy? For the most part, nobody wants to get into a relationship with someone who can't handle their own life. That is an incredibly sad fact of life for those who genuinely do suffer from depression, and is kind of the big problem with depression anyway - it's self-perpetuating. That is exactly why people who have fallen into this kind of downward spiral need some kind of medical intervention to get them back on track.
    What if no one in the future gives me the chance to show that I can make them happy? That's the thing.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Society portrays the idea that you cannot be happy without a partner. I'm starting to believe it day by day.
    Well, stop.

    (Original post by im so academic)
    What if no one in the future gives me the chance to show that I can make them happy? That's the thing.
    Yep, exactly. You see, right now, you are actively denying yourself that chance by refusing to make yourself happy without a boyfriend. At the moment, you are sacrificing your long-term happiness because of your short-term fixation on the one solution you want, and your refusal to try out all the options available to you. It's stubborn, and believe it or not, long-term it's the much harder route. That is why I encourage you to seek treatment.
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    (Original post by flibdoo)
    Well, stop.


    Yep, exactly. You see, right now, you are actively denying yourself that chance by refusing to make yourself happy without a boyfriend. At the moment, you are sacrificing your long-term happiness because of your short-term fixation on the one solution you want, and your refusal to try out all the options available to you. It's stubborn, and believe it or not, long-term it's the much harder route. That is why I encourage you to seek treatment.
    I don't know what to think anymore.

    If I think:

    *I can be happy whilst single; I'm wrong.
    *I can be happy whilst in a relationship; I'm wrong.

    The ****.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    I don't know what to think anymore.

    If I think:

    *I can be happy whilst single; I'm wrong.
    *I can be happy whilst in a relationship; I'm wrong.

    The ****.
    I don't see how I said any of that.

    If you had a physical illness, would you refuse to go and obtain standard, medically approved treatments for it? Would you complain about the symptoms and aggravating factors, but refuse to treat the cause?
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    But if I go to the doctors, what would they do? They would most probably (if it turned out to be true) put me on medication, put it on my medical record, make it known to people...

    No thanks.

    I just want to sort it out for myself. Thanks to all those who have offered me help in the past - but any concrete things I should do? (Besides tell anyone in real life).

    If you really don't want to go to the doctors and really want to sort it out yourself ..you need to first ask yourself: What is the source of this depression? ..you need to know why you are so depressed...is anything troubling you..regrets? ....not fulfilling expectations..once you've done this you need to express it in some way (maybe write it down ...like try not to bottle it all up in your head) ..then you need to try and look for a solution e.g. I may not have achieved what I wanted to achieve..but life moves on from here..what's the next step. You just need to be careful you don't want to become more and more depressedto the stage when you become a danger to yourself. Maybe.. shared what you were depressed about and all the things troubling you on here it will allow you to release some of your thoughts..I'm sure the lovely TSR people on here will help you
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    So those in war-torn countries where their parents' heads are being shot off in front of them and they themselves are likely to die in the same way, yeah, they're happy, right?
    It's all a matter of perspective, if they are religious they have the belief that they are going to get into heaven and see their parents again, so they are happier than a rich atheist businessman who is about to kill himself after suffering depression for a long time, who can't see anything positive about the situation at all.

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Updated: July 21, 2012
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