[HayleyQuinn]

Where to begin... it's going to be long, so i apologise in advance.

Right.

My first and biggest issue is this.

My psychology exam is on Monday, i've been revising really hard, but there's a big chance i will fail. In AS i didn't try too hard but I still got decent grades, and then in A2's i decided i was really going to go for it to try to get the higher grades I knew i could get... now this time i actually did loads of revision, mock papers, handed work in constantly just to see if i was any good, not because it was homework, but because i really wanted good grades, and after all the work i put in, i came out of the january exams with an E in psychology. Now i know it's not the information, because i knew it off by heart and I know i did. It was my writing technique apparently, and i was so annoyed because my teachers had told me it was good, and that i was going to do well, and that happened...

Now i've my next exam coming up and i've been revising because if i fail, then I'm 10 ucas points short of my university offer. They may still let me in, but there's a big chance they just won't bother.

I've been dreaming of this university for two years and not being able to go now would be like the end of the world (metaphorically speaking, of course) to me, and i just don't know what i'd do, because i can't continue for an extra year at my school, the new head teacher has stopped people from doing that, for no reason. So i can't even retake psychology if i fail, not that i'd want to because i really don't like my college much at all, and where i live means i can't really get to any other colleges, not easily, and not without a lot of money, which i don't have either. Another problem with where I live means it'd be border line impossible to get a full time job either, and i've tried to get part time ones ever since i've been old enough to apply, and it's impossible to get one outside of the village because the buses, when they rarely arrive, don't run very late, and the village is very far out from most places, so even if i have to stay here for a year, i couldn't really work, or go to college, or do anything much but feel like a failure all year round, not earning any money or any more ucas points.

Another problem is, if i even get into university, i'm likely to have no money at all, because the student finance people have gone all wrong with our finances. When my stepdad was working full time, we were earning 51,000 a year, give or take, but we have other houses that were left to us in a will, and with the economy since taking a turn for the worst, we can't sell them, and no one really rents them for long or when they do, they break a lot of things which cost all our money to repair them, so we don't see much of the money as most of it is tied up in bills and such. Not only that but my stepdad is now semi retired, meaning we only earn about 24,000 at best, and probably even less next year, which means i am eligible for the grant i so desperately need, but we have to wait for a conformation letter from the HMR office, saying that we earn enough for my to still be eligible for the grant, then we have to copy it and send it to student finance, which they will then take a lot of time dealing with, because despite starting early, i am now falling behind because of all the hassle we have had dealing with this problem.

Not only that, but if i don't get the grant, i will have between £100-£600 for the whole year to live off of, and my parents cannot afford to provide for me at all except for the odd food hamper here and there. That is if i even get in at all.

On top of that, my job contract ends next month, after which i am jobless, which i have already explained is a problem in my village, i have applied for job after job but it's not been any good, i've had only rejections from the place i was 'assured' a job at, and no where in my village is hiring at all, nowhere round here has summer jobs, and nowhere in the city center will hire me because i can't work past 5pm or i can't get home.

It's not a big deal being jobless over summer, but for what is supposed to be the best summer ever, i'm going to be miserable, moneyless, constantly worried about how my exam went and if i will even get in to my uni, and to make it worse, if i don't get my grades i have to wait til the day of the exam results to ring up and beg for a place on the course.

Another big problem is that i got paid for my current job last week, and as a result of my mood fluctuations, i've spent most of it already, despite the fact that i was supposed to be keeping it for going out to meet friends over summer.

I will have two more pay checks of similar amounts before my job finishes, or at least i hope so anyway. And my birthday is next month, so i may just give the money to my mum to hold until i can work out a way of saving it up without just spending it all (i may take it out of my account so i can't order things... in the past two days i've spent £45 ordering things for myself... granted, things i've wanted for a long while, and some things are just to replace old broken ones, but still... once i started, i couldn't stop, and i'm not a typical shopaholic type.) my dad (who occasionally rings me from some far flung part of the world to tell me he saw a bird, that the view is lovely from [insert wherever here] and that i'll have to come see him soon - despite the fact that he is constantly on the run from people, which is why he is never constant in my life, and always in trouble.) said he will send me some money at the end of the week, but he has said it before and usually won't do it until a week, a month, two months later, if at all... and i should be grateful, and i am for the money, but he's never been a good father and he's pushing all the wrong buttons on me at a very stressful points in my life. If, however, he does send me the money, i will have no choice but to withdraw it all in cash and store it so that i don't spend it online. Ebay will drain my resources.

I've also had a problem that has been a two year problem... a friend i made two years ago, who at one point, was someone i used to fancy, quite a bit... has basically been using me throughout our entire friendship, playing on the feelings i used to have for him to manipulate me and get what he wants, and i've discovered recently that he does it to practically every girl he meets, suddenly he decided he would just remove me from his life, cutting all contact (at this point, i didn't know what he had been doing to me.) and i found out the only reason he cut contact was because i was starting to realise what a terrible human being he was, and he didn't want me telling the next line of girls he had ready to use. Thing is, every time i type the first letter of his name into my url bar, his name comes up, every time i flick through my old artwork, there will be funny scribbles of us doing stupid ****, when i go through old photos he'll be in the background, or if i uncover stuff i made to give to him (before he started to ignore me) i get really upset because i made so much effort to be a good friend and he's used me completely, and i can't stand being made to be such a fool, and it's so upsetting to think i could care so much for someone and that he never even viewed me as a friend, or even a person, he just viewed me as a body, a mindless body he could use for his own enjoyment (in case you get the wrong idea, we never slept together or anything like that... but he'd try to manipulate me into letting him see me in very little, despite him having a girlfriend he supposedly loved so much at the time) he was so nasty to me and i never even saw it this whole time. I feel like such a giant idiot.

Another friend of mine, who i thought to be a close friend until recently, has been telling me about her problems at home, which are quite sever, apparently she has an eating disorder and her dad is abusive towards her and her mum doesn't care... now up until this point i believed her, and tried my best to help her, but some things have been surfacing to make me believe she's been lying this whole time... things like, she changes her story on how much she eats per day, sometimes she'll say she won't eat for months (which would result in sudden weight loss, which hasn't happened.) then suddenly she's bulimic, and eats every day but is sick again afterwards, then she eats 250 calories a day (which she suddenly adopted after i started counting calories as part of a get fit thing i was doing) and it comes and goes... as for the abuse... she went from being on the way to the hospital, which she wouldn't tell me which one, so i couldn't visit... to being in the hospital, which i figured out where she'd be... to which she replied constantly that i shouldn't see her like this... and then suddenly she was on her way home again with a broken rib poking into her lung, and concussion... but this all happened in the space of 5 minutes... she talks about time she had off school because of black eyes... but the time it takes for black eyes to heal and the time she took off don't fit together, she said she had a black eye but then was back at school two days later... i don't know what to believe but i'm worried she's been trying to make me miserable too. She doesn't have lots of other friends that i know of... and i think she lies about other things too... she claimed to know Rizzle Kicks and to have written the lyrics to one of their songs, she also claims to be a model but when i gave her my info and portfolio to give to her boss (hey, you gotta try, right?) amazingly, when i rang the company, they had no record of it happening, their website has no record of her and it never did, and surprisingly, she doesn't model anymore and hates talking about it, probably because she realised people would start looking for photos of her...

I'm trying to concentrate on exams, and university, and hoping to the god i don't even believe in for a miracle, for anything to just cut me this one break and let me actually get the reward i deserve for the amount of effort i put into this, because this is so important, but it's hard to concentrate with all the other crap going on around me... I've got a plan, and i never have a plan, but i have a plan for the future, and it doesn't involve staying here, and i just can't stay here any longer, i've lived in thsi village for most of my life, and for the most part i can say it's brought me down and made me miserable, i can't see anyone, i can't get anywhere, i can't go anywhere because i can't get back, i can;t get a job, there's no point in leaving the house. If i stay here, i won't even have anyone who could visit me, because they will all be off at university themselves. I just can't stay here, i just can't. You might say i'm being dramatic but my heart will break in two if to know i was so close but still so far from the one thing i want the most, even more than i wanted the guy that messed with my head.

Another thing is, if i don't get into the uni i want, i have a reserve i will get into, in the same city, but it's just not as good by a long shot, the course isn't as good, the placements aren't as good, the jobs you get as a result aren't really what i want as much, the facilities are the same as my current college, (not brilliant) the accommodation is super expensive but stupidly grim, dirty and tinier than usual... and worst of all, the guy that used me is there. (That's not why i picked it, but he told everyone it was.)

When i'm under a great deal of stress, my mood issues tend to arise in a big way, though i've not been diagnosed by a psychiatrist yet, i'm on the waiting list, and the doctor that referred me told me he thinks i may be suffering from this thing called Mixed Episodes, it's kind of like bipolar, but not as constant. It means basically i can suffer from the manic and depressive episodes at the same time... now i've got a small history of anxiety and depressive problems, but i overcame all of it because i really can't stand to be that girl who always goes on about her problems (i know right, hard to tell from this post... but this is the first time i've ever mentioned all of these concerns to anyone ever, and even then i can't do it to someone i know in real life.) But now these mood swings are starting to return and it's stopping me focusing, it's making me spend all my money, my eating habits fluctuate wildly, i stay up til god knows what time in the morning (on some occasions i just skip sleeping altogether and continue onto the next day.) i can get through loads of revision one day, and not be able to focus at all the next (like today) and then i freak out at the end of the day because i didn't revise enough, stay up late, buy things online and tidy my room to oblivion (which i rarely ever do, being messy normally.)

I know it's so pathetic to whine and bitch and i've been repeatedly told (mainly by my terrible, horrible friend.) that loads of people have it worse than me and i should just get on with it and shut up, because lots of people have the same stresses so i just need to stop being such a whiny mess all the time... but i'm just... i'm going out of my mind here, i need some help, some way to cope, just long enough to continue revising until monday.

I'm sorry this is so long... i'm just very... all over the place.

[HayleyQuinn]

146 views and not a single reply?!

Well dayum son!

[insignificant]

Right, this is my two cents!

Its Friday tomorrow, your teacher should still be in school teaching lower years? Right, you need to go into school and ask to see her before school, break times, lunchtimes, after school, a phone call, email, anything, to go over your writing style and whats wrong with it and how you can improve. Its last minute, but you need to go and sort it, as its your last chance. If this proves impossible, you need to go to the relevant section of this forum, and post a thread with past examples of your work with the low grade, and people here might be able to help you with why. or do both.

This exam needs to be your main focus. I know its hard to do, in the middle of my exams my grandma passed away and on the day of her funeral I couldn't go because I had 3 exams, mainly which I cried my way through. You need to make sure you are eating, even if you feel like your going to throw up, and make sure you are getting decent sleep, which is again easier said than done, but it will make you feel better.

With regard to that guy friend, screw him. You need to be strong and forget him, cut him out of your life. Its only causing you stress, so cut him out and there is less stress. When I had to tell people that I have panic attacks and therefore couldn't do certain stuff or tell them reasons why I did things, I just cut out all of the people that made rude remarks or judged me. And I really don't care, I don't need people like that in my life, I'm grateful for the very select few that understand and have been there for me.

With regard to your friend with the eating disorder, this doesn't need to be all on your shoulders. Tell someone who has access to relevant authorities i.e a teacher at your school. You might be coming towards the end of your time there but they still have an interest. This then shifts some of the responsibility you may be feeling on to them.

With regard to money, save everything you've got. But don't feel guilty for spending on things you need, or treats because everyone needs them to stay sane. Go to moneysaving expert.co.uk they have a whole section on how to gain extra income and stuff through online surveys and doing reviewing. but don't worry too much about this. Once you have done your exam on Monday, contact your prospective university and ask how they can help people in your situation if you get in, and also job search for something in that area for when you get there. It might be an idea to start gradually stockpiling things you are going to need out of the 2 pay checks you're going to get, like kitchen stuff, and start buying tinned and dried stuff like pasta and tinned tomatoes and beans etc. When your at uni always try keep a basic stockpile of stuff like this so you know you'll never go hungry.

With regard to your dad, i don't know his situation or how things are between you, but just leave him to it, he doesn't seem reliable and theres no point now putting yourself through a roller coaster of emotions. Don't count on him for anything, so if anything positive does happen, its a plus.

I know what its like to be waiting to see mental health professionals, its grossly under funded in the NHS because of this stupid government we have. its about patience I'm afraid. In the meantime, go to the mental health section of this website where you can talk to people who have mental health problems and you feel less alone. http://www.ntw.nhs.uk/pic/selfhelp <-- my therapist also directed me to this website, which has various self help leaflets. and if things get really bad, you know you can go straight to your doctor for help.

Hope this was of some sort of help. Gonna go massage my fingers now from typing this much haha.

[Shafski]

(Original post by HayleyQuinn)
146 views and not a single reply?!

Well dayum son!

Sorry, that was me constantly refreshing this thread to test my browser load speed on cached items.

Internet Explorer is a joke lol!

[Simplicity]

Can't believe I read that long whine.

Just stop whining. Also, your friend and boyfriend situation. Get a bloody backbone and stop being an emotional cushion for other peoples problems.

Also on the being used crap. I think you know your being used and pick out people who use you. Hence, your stupid friend who is constantly lying and your ex who is a cheat. Yeah, anyway stop whining.

[Arekkusu]

Hayley, you need to take a deep breath because you're getting all het up over nothing. I don't know about "mixed episodes", it sounds more like you ought to be on the Valium. Don't worry about the following things:

Psychology
Every essay in psychology follows this structure:

1. Is it biological?
a. Insert the content you say you know.
b. Make general criticisms such as "lab test: not a lifelike environment"; "twin study: could be confounded by similar upbringing".
c. Say that there MUST be SOME other factor as twin studies are never 100% and 50% like genetics says they should be, etc.

2. Is it psychosocial?
a, b, c as above.

3. Conclusion: it's both and we don't really have a clue.

Same for model comparisons except instead of biological/psychosocial you may have a different dichotomy.

If you can link it in, refer to the major movements: psychoanalytical (Freud), behavioural (1950s), cognitive (since then)...

Student finance paperwork
You can apply right up until the actual end of the academic year and receive back payments.

Money
You can go on the dole, that's fifty quid a week which is better than nothing. If you want a job, don't tell them about the buses not running very late or the fact you're off to uni soon. If your loan is late your uni will have faith in you and offer you a small loan until such time as you get your payments. You can get through the summer without it being "fun" and spending money; I used to live in a village too and just was catatonic half the time.

The boy
Everyone has been used - you seem a little naive. He probably wasn't as devious as you think, all you have to vouch for that is hearsay from other girls, and really, it's not worth thinking about. By Christmas you'll be living it up at uni and won't even remember him.

Your village
I too live in an isolated village - I'm talking ONE BUS A DAY to one town and ONE A WEEK to the other town. It's absolutely awful. It shrinks your horizons, though the happiest kids are able to channel their boring lives into art, photography... But when you go to uni you can guarantee you will be emancipated from this, and you won't be jaded like all the commuter kids who've been clubbing in London for years rather than thinking things.

Your friend
This is the only thing that really deserves any thought/distress out of all the things you're worrying about; it's likely she does have some problems at home even if she is a compulsive liar. Again, though, and I know this sounds callous, and probably is, but you'll all be different people by the time you come home at Christmas; you won't have time for any silly games and nor will she if she is planning a lifestyle change.

Your diagnosis
I don't think you're mad; you're just a bit anxious. I act in the exact same way and I know I'm anxious. It's bad getting a diagnosis unless you really need it, because to be honest, a combination of the stress of moving away, your friend, your exams is going to send even the best of us a bit round the twist as it is - it's not abnormal. As soon as you get a diagnosis you learn to limit yourself and remind yourself you have some kind of Problem, which only compounds stress and the feeling of disconnection. It's not helped by the fact that doctors are forever busy and most of them just want to get you on the pills and send you home.

Remember: the more you think in spirals, all you're doing is tightening the screw.

[Cura]

Wow your such a crybaby - people suffer more in Third world countries and dont complain as much as you do! Be grateful with what you have!

[Sheep]

when you put things into perspective, nothing really matters much, it's best not to worry at all really

though maybe you shouldn't listen to me as I've got 2 uni exams in an hour and I only found out about them last night when it was too late to revise

[HayleyQuinn]

(Original post by insignificant)
Right, this is my two cents!

Its Friday tomorrow, your teacher should still be in school teaching lower years? Right, you need to go into school and ask to see her before school, break times, lunchtimes, after school, a phone call, email, anything, to go over your writing style and whats wrong with it and how you can improve. Its last minute, but you need to go and sort it, as its your last chance. If this proves impossible, you need to go to the relevant section of this forum, and post a thread with past examples of your work with the low grade, and people here might be able to help you with why. or do both.

This exam needs to be your main focus. I know its hard to do, in the middle of my exams my grandma passed away and on the day of her funeral I couldn't go because I had 3 exams, mainly which I cried my way through. You need to make sure you are eating, even if you feel like your going to throw up, and make sure you are getting decent sleep, which is again easier said than done, but it will make you feel better.

With regard to that guy friend, screw him. You need to be strong and forget him, cut him out of your life. Its only causing you stress, so cut him out and there is less stress. When I had to tell people that I have panic attacks and therefore couldn't do certain stuff or tell them reasons why I did things, I just cut out all of the people that made rude remarks or judged me. And I really don't care, I don't need people like that in my life, I'm grateful for the very select few that understand and have been there for me.

With regard to your friend with the eating disorder, this doesn't need to be all on your shoulders. Tell someone who has access to relevant authorities i.e a teacher at your school. You might be coming towards the end of your time there but they still have an interest. This then shifts some of the responsibility you may be feeling on to them.

With regard to money, save everything you've got. But don't feel guilty for spending on things you need, or treats because everyone needs them to stay sane. Go to moneysaving expert.co.uk they have a whole section on how to gain extra income and stuff through online surveys and doing reviewing. but don't worry too much about this. Once you have done your exam on Monday, contact your prospective university and ask how they can help people in your situation if you get in, and also job search for something in that area for when you get there. It might be an idea to start gradually stockpiling things you are going to need out of the 2 pay checks you're going to get, like kitchen stuff, and start buying tinned and dried stuff like pasta and tinned tomatoes and beans etc. When your at uni always try keep a basic stockpile of stuff like this so you know you'll never go hungry.

With regard to your dad, i don't know his situation or how things are between you, but just leave him to it, he doesn't seem reliable and theres no point now putting yourself through a roller coaster of emotions. Don't count on him for anything, so if anything positive does happen, its a plus.

I know what its like to be waiting to see mental health professionals, its grossly under funded in the NHS because of this stupid government we have. its about patience I'm afraid. In the meantime, go to the mental health section of this website where you can talk to people who have mental health problems and you feel less alone. http://www.ntw.nhs.uk/pic/selfhelp <-- my therapist also directed me to this website, which has various self help leaflets. and if things get really bad, you know you can go straight to your doctor for help.

Hope this was of some sort of help. Gonna go massage my fingers now from typing this much haha.

You are a bloody brilliant person!

I really hate to whine about these things (and as you can see, one of the other commentators hates it when i whine too! Oh well :P) but it's not too bad if it's individual things, but when it all gets on top of you... it's just too much sometimes to not go on about it to someone :')

So thank you for your very lovely reply, it's now Saturday, and we were on half term, so i couldn't see my teacher, however, i did talk to some of my other friends taking the subject getting higher grades, and i compared my improved writing method with theirs and i'm not too different now! I've gotten all my revision done and tomorrow some psych friends and I are getting together for a revision session!

I've been looking for work and have heard of a few places I may be able to get to to work there over summer, and my mum has found me a permanent position, that I can apply for, and if I get into university, I can quit, and if I don't, I still have a job!

I spoke to a friend who is at the uni I want to go to, and she said her friend was allowed on to the media course (which i hear is popular there, as the facilities are phenomenal!) and he was 60 points short of ucas! I would only be 10, so there's a good chance they may still let me in! Of course i'll try my very best on the exam anyway! I need 12 points apparently, and this time they don't have my least favourite section 'Research Methods' on it, so I can't lose marks on that! Here's hoping my work pays off and ucas doesn't become an issue! Though I hate to get too optimistic about exams because every time I do, or come out saying "That was easy!" I always do really badly xD

My guy 'friend' and I don't talk any more nowerdays, and that's for the best because he is a massive douchbag, but I just get sad over it sometimes because he was my closest friend and I cared an awful lot about him, and it turns out he was a completely different person and doesn't care about anyone but himself, and using girls. I spoke to his ex girlfriend about him, because we're friends now, and she said that at the end of their two year relationship, he turned out to be a different person than she thought, so it's not just me, he does that to people, gives them this image of himself to make girls like him, then gradually, he gets bored and drops the act, and is just nasty, but he only does that once they care. He's an odd one, and horrible. It's just difficult remembering that sometimes, because i think back to when he was lovely, but i have to remind myself it was all an act and that he's nasty for the sake of it.

I'm managing with that okay though, it just creeps up on me when i'm already stressed, insult to injury and all that!

As for my friend... i never know what to do with her... I want to believe her, but there are just inconsistencies in what she says... and i feel terrible for doubting her, but... well it's hard not to. I want to be her friend because aside from that we get on great, but it's hard to ignore the fact she could have just been playing me for a fool this whole time Perhaps the friendship will fizzle out a little if/when i go to university... there's just so many things she trips herself up on now... it's almost a bit obvious.

Eh, my dad is my dad :P he's always like this, he just always pops by when i'm already stressed, like my guy friend and it makes things twice as hard :P but i'll manage, i always do with him.

I was waiting for an appointment here, but that was ages ago, when they finally referred me, it was to somewhere over two hours away for some reason, when we know there are clinics nearer, because i've seen them! It takes so long and the waiting list is ridiculous, i might wait until i go to university (hopefully) and see one there instead of having to come back and forth.

Thank you so much for reading and really actually offering real advice and help, it's just what I needed! Here's hoping my exam goes alright and that the rest follows!

[insignificant]

(Original post by HayleyQuinn)
You are a bloody brilliant person!

I really hate to whine about these things (and as you can see, one of the other commentators hates it when i whine too! Oh well :P) but it's not too bad if it's individual things, but when it all gets on top of you... it's just too much sometimes to not go on about it to someone :')

So thank you for your very lovely reply, it's now Saturday, and we were on half term, so i couldn't see my teacher, however, i did talk to some of my other friends taking the subject getting higher grades, and i compared my improved writing method with theirs and i'm not too different now! I've gotten all my revision done and tomorrow some psych friends and I are getting together for a revision session!

I've been looking for work and have heard of a few places I may be able to get to to work there over summer, and my mum has found me a permanent position, that I can apply for, and if I get into university, I can quit, and if I don't, I still have a job!

I spoke to a friend who is at the uni I want to go to, and she said her friend was allowed on to the media course (which i hear is popular there, as the facilities are phenomenal!) and he was 60 points short of ucas! I would only be 10, so there's a good chance they may still let me in! Of course i'll try my very best on the exam anyway! I need 12 points apparently, and this time they don't have my least favourite section 'Research Methods' on it, so I can't lose marks on that! Here's hoping my work pays off and ucas doesn't become an issue! Though I hate to get too optimistic about exams because every time I do, or come out saying "That was easy!" I always do really badly xD

My guy 'friend' and I don't talk any more nowerdays, and that's for the best because he is a massive douchbag, but I just get sad over it sometimes because he was my closest friend and I cared an awful lot about him, and it turns out he was a completely different person and doesn't care about anyone but himself, and using girls. I spoke to his ex girlfriend about him, because we're friends now, and she said that at the end of their two year relationship, he turned out to be a different person than she thought, so it's not just me, he does that to people, gives them this image of himself to make girls like him, then gradually, he gets bored and drops the act, and is just nasty, but he only does that once they care. He's an odd one, and horrible. It's just difficult remembering that sometimes, because i think back to when he was lovely, but i have to remind myself it was all an act and that he's nasty for the sake of it.

I'm managing with that okay though, it just creeps up on me when i'm already stressed, insult to injury and all that!

As for my friend... i never know what to do with her... I want to believe her, but there are just inconsistencies in what she says... and i feel terrible for doubting her, but... well it's hard not to. I want to be her friend because aside from that we get on great, but it's hard to ignore the fact she could have just been playing me for a fool this whole time Perhaps the friendship will fizzle out a little if/when i go to university... there's just so many things she trips herself up on now... it's almost a bit obvious.

Eh, my dad is my dad :P he's always like this, he just always pops by when i'm already stressed, like my guy friend and it makes things twice as hard :P but i'll manage, i always do with him.

I was waiting for an appointment here, but that was ages ago, when they finally referred me, it was to somewhere over two hours away for some reason, when we know there are clinics nearer, because i've seen them! It takes so long and the waiting list is ridiculous, i might wait until i go to university (hopefully) and see one there instead of having to come back and forth.

Thank you so much for reading and really actually offering real advice and help, it's just what I needed! Here's hoping my exam goes alright and that the rest follows!

I'm half asleep, so just a quick reply, but it seems that you've got a lot more of a positive spin on things which is great. we as humans tend to vastly underestimate our abilities as a way of protecting ourselves, I've no doubt that you will do great on this exam. Write with confidence, and it will come across as someone who knows their stuff. Let me know how things go

[HayleyQuinn]

(Original post by Cura)
Wow your such a crybaby - people suffer more in Third world countries and dont complain as much as you do! Be grateful with what you have!

Yup, i know that.

I'm going to state one thing, and one thing only.

Now i've had time to deal with each issue, they are not as big a deal, yes, however, when things pile up on top of you, they become more and more dramatic than they are, and they can really get to a person. Not only that, but i fail to see how worrying about my future with university, friends that used me, friends that lied to me, parents that weren't there, and a possible psychiatric problem are issues to be dismissed. Whilst i appreciate that people out there in the world have it worse than i do, it does not make me as a person any less important when i am upset. It does not lessen my problems or make me forget them.

If doctors, when faced with a depressed patient say "Cheer up, stop whining, you could have had it worse." you would be appalled. Telling someone who is trying to deal with their problems that they should stop whining about it is essentially telling them "You are not important, you don't matter, neither do your problems, shut up."

So, yes, good one.

I appreciate people have it worse than I do, but children starving in africa does not make my issues with university disappear, just as saying to children "EAT YOUR DINNER, THERE ARE CHILDREN STARVING" doesn't make them any less full, or like cabbage any more. Relating one persons problems to the third world is a completely irrelevant connection. My problems may not interest you, or make you even feel a shred of empathy, and why should they, you don't know me, you don't care about me... in which case, feel free to leave the thread. Calling someone in distress names isn't big or clever, so yeah... have fun with that then.

My problems are now, to me, after dealing carefully with each one, are not as big an issue, and i'm aware i'm not that bad off, but regardless of that, they are something that is causing me upset, which should be taken seriously in not just me, but anyone.

I'm sure you probably care very little about any of this, but if it's a case of TL;DR, here's a summary... If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

[HayleyQuinn]

(Original post by Sheep)
when you put things into perspective, nothing really matters much, it's best not to worry at all really

though maybe you shouldn't listen to me as I've got 2 uni exams in an hour and I only found out about them last night when it was too late to revise

Oh damn! I hope you had enough from the lessons to write something, i'm sure you were okay though! I hope so anyway, if not, there's always retakes?

Yeah, i know now that each problem individually is easy enough to deal with, but you know how it is when lots of little things pile up and start to seem like big things. I just needed a place to talk to someone... unfortunately, a few of the replies have been along the lines of "STOP WHINING." so... that's y'know always helpful... i don't get why people post that... like... just don't bother, surely? It won't help, and it certainly won't make them look any better.... people are weird! :')

[HayleyQuinn]

Thanks again! I've had some weirdly useless comments on here like "STOP COMPLAINING" which was slightly disheartening... but comments like yours make up for it by a long shot! I don't see why people tell people to not complain, it reinforces the whole "Don't talk about feelings." thing we have in society, which is largely unhealthy! But it's nice to see someone who responds nicely to my silly little problems (: which now, seem much easier to deal with!

Ah well, people are weird, right?!

<3

[HayleyQuinn]

(Original post by Arekkusu)
Hayley, you need to take a deep breath because you're getting all het up over nothing. I don't know about "mixed episodes", it sounds more like you ought to be on the Valium. Don't worry about the following things:

Psychology
Every essay in psychology follows this structure:

1. Is it biological?
a. Insert the content you say you know.
b. Make general criticisms such as "lab test: not a lifelike environment"; "twin study: could be confounded by similar upbringing".
c. Say that there MUST be SOME other factor as twin studies are never 100% and 50% like genetics says they should be, etc.

2. Is it psychosocial?
a, b, c as above.

3. Conclusion: it's both and we don't really have a clue.

Same for model comparisons except instead of biological/psychosocial you may have a different dichotomy.

If you can link it in, refer to the major movements: psychoanalytical (Freud), behavioural (1950s), cognitive (since then)...

Student finance paperwork
You can apply right up until the actual end of the academic year and receive back payments.

Money
You can go on the dole, that's fifty quid a week which is better than nothing. If you want a job, don't tell them about the buses not running very late or the fact you're off to uni soon. If your loan is late your uni will have faith in you and offer you a small loan until such time as you get your payments. You can get through the summer without it being "fun" and spending money; I used to live in a village too and just was catatonic half the time.

The boy
Everyone has been used - you seem a little naive. He probably wasn't as devious as you think, all you have to vouch for that is hearsay from other girls, and really, it's not worth thinking about. By Christmas you'll be living it up at uni and won't even remember him.

Your village
I too live in an isolated village - I'm talking ONE BUS A DAY to one town and ONE A WEEK to the other town. It's absolutely awful. It shrinks your horizons, though the happiest kids are able to channel their boring lives into art, photography... But when you go to uni you can guarantee you will be emancipated from this, and you won't be jaded like all the commuter kids who've been clubbing in London for years rather than thinking things.

Your friend
This is the only thing that really deserves any thought/distress out of all the things you're worrying about; it's likely she does have some problems at home even if she is a compulsive liar. Again, though, and I know this sounds callous, and probably is, but you'll all be different people by the time you come home at Christmas; you won't have time for any silly games and nor will she if she is planning a lifestyle change.

Your diagnosis
I don't think you're mad; you're just a bit anxious. I act in the exact same way and I know I'm anxious. It's bad getting a diagnosis unless you really need it, because to be honest, a combination of the stress of moving away, your friend, your exams is going to send even the best of us a bit round the twist as it is - it's not abnormal. As soon as you get a diagnosis you learn to limit yourself and remind yourself you have some kind of Problem, which only compounds stress and the feeling of disconnection. It's not helped by the fact that doctors are forever busy and most of them just want to get you on the pills and send you home.

Remember: the more you think in spirals, all you're doing is tightening the screw.

Hey!

Thanks for your nicely structured reply!

I've had a few days to work on my exam stuff, and that's looking a bit better, i'm working with some psych friends to revise the final info, i've learnt all of it now and we're just going to recap it all day before the exam!

As for the uni, i've found out that i can still get in, as a friend attending there says she has a friend who got in and was 60 points short of admission, i'd only be 10 if i don't pass psych, so i'll call them on the day and hope for the best if i don't pass!

Finance should get sorted, but it's a slow process... i think we may just send current year assessment forms off and be done with it!

As for the guy, i used to be naive when we met, because i thought he was amazing and kind, and i never listened to any of the things i'd heard about him, but it's only now experiencing them, and the way he's used not just me, but every single girl he knows, and the way he flirted with so many girls, asking them for revealing photos, whilst actually having a girlfriend at the time! He's not a nice guy... but it's not that i'm upset about, i was upset because for years i thought he was this wonderful friend who really cared about me, but the whole time it was an act to try to seduce me, and (i did fancy him for a few months but it kind of wore off) never really fell for it so he got bored and treated me horribly! But it's not that either, it's the fact that sometimes i forget a little bit, that he was horrible, and i miss him, but then i get annoyed at myself for it, because he's not a nice person! It just was difficult to deal with because i told him a great deal about myself, really opened up when i never had before, and then to think he just didn't care at all... well it's just a little difficult to comprehend, but i know he's done it to many other girls too, so i guess i don't feel personally victimized :P

My friend... i don't really know what to do about her... as you said, after university, things will probably be different... it's just annoying when she sends me messages suddenly saying she's been put into hospital after her dad pushed her down the stairs, but then when i go to say i'll see her, she backs out of it and is suddenly back at home again... it's frustrating to watch her flit between disorders and abuse and various things... she's started telling me that her parents don't like me and say horrible things about me behind my back... she told me her dad hit her once because he was annoyed about driving me home, and that her mum refused to drop the things off i left at her house (despite the fact i'd been round her house a few times to collect it, but whenever she said she was going to be in, she wasn't.) because i was selfish and should come and get it myself... and okay, maybe her parents think that... but if my parents hated a friend, i wouldn't tell them the nasty things they'd said, it's just not nice! So i don't know what she's doing... she's gone all over the place at the moment, so i'm using summer as a chance to get a break from her for a bit.

Mixed episodes are like a small form of bipolar, but they aren't constant like bipolar is, it's occasional episodes of both mania and depression occurring together... the doctor referred me to a psychiatrist but there's been some technical errors that mean i'd been referred to somewhere miles and miles away when there is a clinic nearby so i'm waiting to go to uni (if i can go!) to get a doctor there instead and carry on with it there.

Also, we need to form a group for the poor people stuck in villages with crap bus services xD

[HayleyQuinn]

(Original post by Simplicity)
Can't believe I read that long whine.

Just stop whining. Also, your friend and boyfriend situation. Get a bloody backbone and stop being an emotional cushion for other peoples problems.

Also on the being used crap. I think you know your being used and pick out people who use you. Hence, your stupid friend who is constantly lying and your ex who is a cheat. Yeah, anyway stop whining.

Well, that's up to you to think that... whatevers.

However, i'd just like to state, i NEVER talk about my problems to anyone, and though my problems may seem unimportant to you, and maybe they are, they are important to me, right now, because they impact my future, and my emotions and the way i am living right now. Anything that causes someone upset, even if it only seems little, is still important because it's upset them.

I've now started to deal with each problem one by one and it doesn't seem so bad now, however, that doesn't give you the right to tell me my problems are not important, no one has that right, not me, not anyone, and especially not you.

Also, you've not read it properly, he's not my boyfriend, and he never cheated on me, because we never dated. The message was that he was a friend i used to fancy, but then just wanted to be friends, and he was only interested in manipulating me for his own use, which i didn't comply with, and he ended up being nasty to me, which was upsetting because he pretended for years to be a caring person to try to get me into bed.

Secondly, i don't pick people to be used by, because i didn't know either of these two people were like this to start with. The guy, was lovely to me, made me laugh, complimented me, was fun to hang out with, then one day he just turned and decided he wasn't getting what he wanted, and his attempts at using me weren't working, so he just basically took the trust i put in him as a friend, and tore it up, that's a little upsetting. Sorry if you don't think so And my other friend, same story, we've been friends for ages before the weird lies started, i didn't know she was like this! So i didn't pick them out for those traits specifically! Why would i?!

You didn't have to read the long 'whine' and if it really meant so little to you... then why even both with a reply... just don't waste your time if you don't care, or don't have anything useful to say... :P good one there.

[Jwb2]

This is all sorted now so I can't really help in anyway, but I'm glad it is and would've tried to help myself. ...wow this post is really quite pointless.