The Student Room Group

This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

How do teachers react to self harm?

I dont mean in terms of telling parents school counsellor etc ect, I mean how do they see you? do they treat you any differently? Would all teachers be told? If anyone has any experience with how people have reacted that would be good.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
How they react would depend on their personality and experiences. As professionals in a role of authority and an obligation to care, they shouldn't treat you differently. Other teachers wouldn't be told unless they think it's good idea for them to make sure you're ok in every lesson etc.

Not personal experience but when the school found out about my best friend they called in her parents and that was it.
When i went to school the teachers didn't care, apart from one biology teacher who would always make sure i was ok, talk to me etc. I think it's down to the individual teacher.
Reply 3
There are very clear guidelines and policies on this, the teacher has no latitude whatsoever.

If the teacher has reason to believe a student is self-harming, it must be reported to the school's designated child protection officer.

The CPO will then look at the case and take whatever action they see necessary, which will probably involve notifying the parents, or in some cases, social services. All teachers who see the student would probably be informed to keep an eye out.

Can you imagine the furore if it came out that a teacher knew that a student had been self harming before they committed suicide and nothing was done about it for fear of upsetting the student further?
(edited 11 years ago)
From personal experience, they care but they try to help. They don't think any less of you and don't treat you any differently as a result. They do tell you it's not a very good idea to continue causing yourself injury, and even those of us that do it know it's not smart.

I got a bit of a verbal beating from the one teacher, but that was the tough love stance. Actually did help a little bit, so I guess she did the right thing.

They didn't tell my parents but my biology teacher took me to the doctor's in her car when she saw them for the first time- that wasn't fun.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
From personal experience, they care but they try to help. They don't think any less of you and don't treat you any differently as a result. They do tell you it's not a very good idea to continue causing yourself injury, and even those of us that do it know it's not smart.

I got a bit of a verbal beating from the one teacher, but that was the tough love stance. Actually did help a little bit, so I guess she did the right thing.

They didn't tell my parents but my biology teacher took me to the doctor's in her car when she saw them for the first time- that wasn't fun.


I bet your biology teacher got a bit of a verbal beating from the school's admin once they found out about that.
Reply 6
There was one day when it was 'sports wear' and the weather was good. I tried covering up but I was boiling so I couldn't. My teachers basically ignored it, although I'm sure they could see as my classes were small. Only my Spanish teacher and head of sixth were compassionate. Spanish teacher just gave me a massive hug and said she was always there if I needed to talk. Head of sixth took me aside and had a proper chat, then told my mum. It really depends on your teachers' personalities and some of them don't think they have a right to pry or they should ignore it because they don't know how to react or help.
Reply 7
If you tell your teacher about your self-harm they will outline whom they will have to inform. This is usually the absolute minimum: your school probably has one or several pastoral tutors who would be informed, but that will probably be it unless you literally start bringing razors and lengths of rope into school. This sort of issue is always dealt with in the most tactful of ways, don't fret, it won't be gossip fodder in the staff room, it's always a need-to-know basis.

The teacher himself may not have had experience with this sort of issue before and it will be impossible for it not to cross his mind when he talks to you, but rest assured that he will remain professional and empathetic at all times. However as I say you will probably be referred on and that person will have been trained.
when my friend told us she'd been self-harming, we went to our head of year who was absolutely brilliant; she was really good at dealing with it and made sure that the support my friend needed was in place and she arranged for her to have counselling at school. If there were any problems then we could go to her about them and they'd be sorted. As far as I remember, very few teachers were actually told - only those who needed to know such as PE were told, and others who taught demanding subjects were just made aware that my friend was finding things difficult so they were a lot more lenient. Student support were aware too and they became a lot more approachable which was a good thing if there were any issues.
Reply 9
The school are in loco parentis of you while you are there, which means they have a duty of care to protect you and this means that parents will generally be informed. But schools will have a lot of experience of dealing with this, and they're often very good at dealing with it calmly and giving out information but treating pupils with as much confidentiality as they can.

How a teacher reacts to it will differ, but they can be great. Not all teachers will generally be informed, but if necessary they can be (e.g. our asst. head let all of my teachers know so that if I had a very bad lesson they would speak to him). They're unlikely to see you any differently besides that they will know you are struggling, so they can be there to help if you need it, or to refer you to people who can help, such as school counsellors.
Original post by marcusfox
I bet your biology teacher got a bit of a verbal beating from the school's admin once they found out about that.


Actually, one of the senior management teams cleared it. It was because they suspected that I was suicidal- an accurate guess, actually- and were therefore "acting on their duty of care". I would kick up a fuss but tbh I probs wouldn't be here if they hadn't done it.
Reply 11
Thanks so much for all the replies :smile: Do you think that if a student confided that they used to self harm, a long time ago, they would still contact parents? Or if they saw old scars?
I think- but I'm not at all sure- that they wouldn't have to tell parents, as long as they didn't still think that you were a danger to yourself. I'm guessing you're thinking of telling a teacher that you really trust? If you are, then you're in a much better positioin to guess how they'll react.
They usually contact your parents. My school weren't very helpful, they told my parents and tried to force me into counselling, all they achieved was that I switched from cutting my arms to cutting the top of my thighs because it was easier to hide. Depends on your school I suppose.
Reply 14
Thanks again for the repleis, it sounds bad but its so nice hearing from other people who have experienced stuff which feels alien from normal stuff.
I self harmed (not seriously) when I was 9, not depressed just hated myself. I hadn't heard of self harm. its been on and off since then. I don't really at the mo. Im worried about it cos its not normal but its been so hidden away that theres like the normal outside me and like the inner panicky mess. I trust this teacher but know that cos it started young he'l think i'm messed up. maybe i am. i never talk about my worries with anyone, not friends, family, so sometimes it almost seems in my head. i cant let my family know it would make everything worse but wish i could talk.
Reply 15
it depends on the teacher's personality and experience really .

if the teacher think you or other might be in risk , they HAVE to report this to your heard of year , child protection officer and your parent .
Reply 16
Original post by Anonymous
I dont mean in terms of telling parents school counsellor etc ect, I mean how do they see you? do they treat you any differently? Would all teachers be told? If anyone has any experience with how people have reacted that would be good.


My teachers all just kind of backed away - didn't speak to me much, and if I looked down then they wouldn't ask me to "concentrate/wake up" as they would with other students.
If they found out before your parents, then they are obliged to tell your parents and school counselor.
If your parents inform them, then they aren't obliged to do anything and are, usually, informed (by higher members of staff) to keep out of it because they don't want to become liable for any upsets.

Hope this helps :smile:
Reply 17
My teachers could see i was self harming, they would sometimes see old scars etc or my gloves would slip down or whatever, and one or two of them never said anything but they were always just that little bit more understanding if i missed a lesson or hadnt handed in hwk etc - this was during sixth form btw. They could tell i was having issues outside of education even if they didnt know what it was about.
Erm well I self harm ATM and my teachers like all know but so do my parents at first they told my parents anyways but now they don't even care seriously , they treat me wors than other students only like two of my teachers sometimes check I'm ok but they don't really care:/
Reply 19
I told my teacher and she was really nice about it however, your teacher might not be the same. It turns out she used to cut her self aswell so she completely understands me. She still treats me in the same way, especially when i'm with other people and she always lets me come and speak to her in my own time. Everytime i do, i never regret it. At first i thought she might say i had to stop but she just tries to help and understand my perspective. She didn't tell anyone else (teachers or parents) and i feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. If your teacher is anywhere near as great as mine then i reccomend that you tell them. I hope i helped and good luck!

Latest