[Supportive mum]

Like LadyBunion said earlier in the thread, if your dad really does earn only £20k, he must have a lot of worries, and having a son back home is a extra worry, if only for the amount that young men eat. I imagine that you get a grant and perhaps even a bursary with a family income like that, so I suggest that you see things from a perspective other than your own. Perhaps if you have an adult conversation with him and discuss the situation calmly, without the hard-done-by approach, you may get somewhere?

[Bobsyourteapots]

I don't understand this My mum has never asked for money off me for rent or bills but instead I offer and give her money to help with bills and pay my fair share of what I use.

[koko298]

(Original post by Supportive mum)
Like LadyBunion said earlier in the thread, if your dad really does earn only £20k, he must have a lot of worries, and having a son back home is a extra worry, if only for the amount that young men eat. I imagine that you get a grant and perhaps even a bursary with a family income like that, so I suggest that you see things from a perspective other than your own. Perhaps if you have an adult conversation with him and discuss the situation calmly, without the hard-done-by approach, you may get somewhere?

£20k is not small. Its a lot.

[08rbut]

I thought that under human rights your parents only had to pay for you and care for you until age 18? Maybe I have got it wrong... By the way, I do think its unreasonable.

[Supportive mum]

(Original post by koko298)
£20k is not small. Its a lot.

It may seem a lot to hard up students, but to run a home in the south east, it is not!

[koko298]

(Original post by Supportive mum)
It may seem a lot to hard up students, but to run a home in the south east, it is not!

Oh yeah? How about a family that earned roughly £14k and support 5 people, all students survived?. We still need to eat, I believe the pricing of food at ASDAs or Tescos are still the same in the UK.

[Supportive mum]

(Original post by koko298)
Oh yeah? How about a family that earned roughly £14k and support 5 people, all students survived?. We still need to eat, I believe the pricing of food at ASDAs or Tescos are still the same in the UK.

In that case, the family would have been in receipt of a lot of benefits and the student offspring would have got EMA in the 6th form, and grants and also perhaps bursaries at university. Kids aren't always aware of the family finances, or indeed how much parents earn.

[koko298]

(Original post by Supportive mum)
In that case, the family would have been in receipt of a lot of benefits and the student offspring would have got EMA in the 6th form, and grants and also perhaps bursaries at university. Kids aren't always aware of the family finances, or indeed how much parents earn.

Nope nope. We are international. We don't get EMAs or any benefits. We paid International fees.

[Supportive mum]

(Original post by koko298)
Nope nope. We are international. We don't get EMAs or any benefits. We paid International fees.

Then you can't possibly have a family income of £14k, can you!?

[koko298]

(Original post by Supportive mum)
Then you can't possibly have a family income of £14k, can you!?

Yes, you can. A student can work up to 20 hours per week. There are 5 of us, remember? Comprehend your statement

[ProStacker]

(Original post by joelw)
It's not even like he can't afford me, he earns 20k a year. Fair enough that isn't the greatest salary in the world but it's certainly enough to support me. Maybe I'll ask him for my rent back from last year for arguments sake?

That isn't very much at all and not enough to support you when you are paying another rent as well and not even living there. I'd not be able to support myself and then take a free lodger for a couple of months on that wage.

You have no idea of the value of money. This is a lesson in it.

[dannyoh]

If you're not earning any money then it's totally wrong yeah.

Equally if you are earning money (as in working full time, I wouldn't count a saturday job at somewhere like that as one) then he would have right.

[Supportive mum]

(Original post by koko298)
Yes, you can. A student can work up to 20 hours per week. There are 5 of us, remember? Comprehend your statement

You are the one who doesn't understand what you're writing!

[jimcatinnes]

(Original post by Supportive mum)
It may seem a lot to hard up students, but to run a home in the south east, it is not!

My family coped, and that was without benefits.

It's all well and good saying well go back to your student accommodation and find a job, from the sounds of it OP lives a considerable distance from home, so it's basically saying go live alone up north, don't see any of your family or friends for the next year.

[Boo_x]

While it is harsh to expect 50 quid a week at the end of the day it's his house.

If you went a lived in your student house which you're already paying for you could easily live there for less than 50 quid a week. Jobs are more likey to accept you up there knowing that you could continue working when you're a student (doesn't matter if you don't want to, make them think that). You could use your gap year savings to set you up a bit, either way it will be cheaper to live in your student house rather than home.

On the other hand tell your dad you understand that you should pay rent but at the moment you can't afford that much so could you pay maybe £20 a week while looking for a job and help around the house, doing washing, make the dinner, clean etc.

Out of curisoity OP do you have siblings that have to pay rent?

[koko298]

(Original post by Supportive mum)
You are the one who doesn't understand what you're writing!

I just said that 20k is a lot. Your username Supportive mum Maybe you should rethink on that. I'm just trying to convey a message where I think it is still affordable to support your own child for summer since £20k is a lot. I didn't say its wrong for his dad to asked him a favour but he needs to contemplate his needs too. My mum never asked me to pay for rents but I helped her anyway. "Its when parents contemplate the needs of their kids, the kids will try to help them too" situation.

[Boo_x]

(Original post by koko298)
I just said that 20k is a lot. Your username Supportive mum Maybe you should rethink on that. I'm just trying to convey a message where I think it is still affordable to support your own child for summer since £20k is a lot. I didn't say its wrong for his dad to asked him a favour but he needs to contemplate his needs too. My mum never asked me to pay for rents but I helped her anyway. "Its when parents contemplate the needs of their kids, the kids will try to help them too" situation.

For the majority of families yes 20k would be enough to support their family. However, the OP is now an adult and maybe the father doesn't want to cut costs on certain things when he could ask his son to pay towards it?
I'm assuming he would be living in a larger house than he needs so that his son has a room when he comes home for uni, this brings with it a lot of extra bills including more heating, higher mortgage council tax etc.

I'm not saying I agree with this style of parenting it's just an idea.

[Supportive mum]

(Original post by koko298)
I just said that 20k is a lot. Your username Supportive mum Maybe you should rethink on that. I'm just trying to convey a message where I think it is still affordable to support your own child for summer since £20k is a lot. I didn't say its wrong for his dad to asked him a favour but he needs to contemplate his needs too. My mum never asked me to pay for rents but I helped her anyway. "Its when parents contemplate the needs of their kids, the kids will try to help them too" situation.

I apologise if you think I sound rude. You clearly think that £20k is a lot, and you are entitled to your opinion like anyone else. I don't think it is. One's view as a young student is somewhat different to that of an adult with experience of running a home. What I thought seemed a lot when I was young altered as a I grew older and took on responsibilities. What I was trying to say (and clearly failed at) was that I could not understand how your family income could possibly be £14k if you are paying international fees. Obviously, I've got it wrong!

I am a very supportive mum (of 4), both financially and emotionally, and feel that the OP ought to see things from his dad's point of view. I am aware that many many families live on £20k, but it is not easy.

[Supportive mum]

(Original post by jimcatinnes)
My family coped, and that was without benefits.

It's all well and good saying well go back to your student accommodation and find a job, from the sounds of it OP lives a considerable distance from home, so it's basically saying go live alone up north, don't see any of your family or friends for the next year.

He's home for the summer hols, that's all! (Well that's the impression I got). His friends could go and hang out with him a bit up north if they aren't working either! I bet there will be other students up there, and he could perhaps even get a headstart on finding a job for the autumn when the new term starts!

[LarrikinLibertine]

(Original post by koko298)
I just said that 20k is a lot. Your username Supportive mum Maybe you should rethink on that. I'm just trying to convey a message where I think it is still affordable to support your own child for summer since £20k is a lot. I didn't say its wrong for his dad to asked him a favour but he needs to contemplate his needs too. My mum never asked me to pay for rents but I helped her anyway. "Its when parents contemplate the needs of their kids, the kids will try to help them too" situation.

As an international student I think you ideas of what a lot of money is in the UK may be slightly skewed. 20k a year may be a lot where you're from but in the UK the average income is about 24k a year. Considering OP's father, by the sound of it, lives alone most households will have far more than this, and considering OP lives in southern England(he referred to going up north to uni), this is not a lot of money. Gas, electricity bills etc have gone up considerably in recent years and on 20k a year OP's father will have very little disposable income. Not saying he can't afford to support his son if he really wanted to, but it might involve going into debt or making sacrifices in other areas of his quality of life. 20k a year is a long way from 'a lot' of money for a single parent living in the south.