[Anonymous]

Hope this is in the right place. I'm just kind of at the end of my tether and wondered if anyone has any advice. Long story short, 2 months ago I finished my MA and managed to get a job as an Executive/Family PA for a family/businessman. It sounded pretty good- get some small business management knowledge/experience, help out with the kids who are all of a reasonable age, do errands etc. I have my MA dissertation to complete for September and thought this could work to support me while I finish the writeup.

HOWEVER when I started I didn't realise I'd be working 8am (which requires me to leave my house by 7am) until whenever they need me (usually 7pm, has been almost midnight on a couple occasions). The job itself isn't super taxing, just varied, but most days I don't get a break from whatever I'm doing for most of the 10-12 hours I work. I've barely touched my dissertation as I'm exhausted whenever I'm not at work, and I almost always have to cancel or move social arrangements in the evenings and don't feel I can tell my employers I want to leave. This is because no matter how much I put in (they have great contacts and I REALLY need the money so I've done everything I can to keep hold of the job), they focus on little things. For example this week I'm coming in all day Saturday to help out, and this morning when I was 10 mins late (my tube commute can be unpredictable, but its central London and I have 2 changes), my boss accused me of being 'very often late' by a similar amount of time. It's a pretty informal setting and as I said, I ALWAYS stay late/come in extra days, so it seemed a harsh comment given he knows I commute from the other side of London, but it put the fear of god in me. I'm still here at 8pm now as a result, absolutely exhausted and won't get home til 9.30pm at a push, then back in tomorrow. My bosses have both been off with me all day and I'm terrified of losing my job. But my younger sister who I live with is going through postnatal depression so I'm often up late with her, and can often only see my boyfriend late at night due to work, and the tiredness/hunger/inactivity really gets to me by the end of the week.

I'd like to ask them formally if I can introduce some kind of set lunch/break when I can get out of the house, take a walk, get some food... Or ask if I can start slightly later... But am I being unreasonable here? Feel really alone so any people who've had a similar type experience would be helpful! In a job like this it feels like there is little formal procedure, but equally apparently getting in on the dot at 8am is the one thing set in stone- it seems unfair!

[For The Love Of Giraffe]

Talk to them about the late finishes. If you're meant to finish at a certain time, tell them that while you're happy to stay a tad later if they need you (like up to half an hour more), any more than that isn't possible as you have personal things to deal with. You don't need to say what these are, but it's clear that you need time to help out your sister, which is very important, and you also need time to do your dissertation, which is also very important.

Out of interest, do they even pay you over-time for the extra time? If they don't, then they have no right to expect you to stay that late and you shouldn't even offer. Just tell them that you need to leave at the time your job ends and there is no option to stay longer, and if you do, it eats into other things that you need to do and is inconvenient.

Just make certain that you aren't late again. I know it's not your fault as the tube sucks, but if leaving home 15mins earlier so that you get there really really early is the only way, you may have to do it. It's better to be there 15mins early and always be on time and then leave on time, rather than be late and then try to make it up to them by staying late because it's nice to them. Moreover, if you're never late, they then have no reason to fire you, so don't worry about your job. They can't expect you to stay later and they shouldn't.

So basically, I think the best shot is to make sure that a leaving time is set in stone and make sure that you get your break (as it's the law). Just be polite about it and explain that the current situation is really difficult on you, especially with personal problems in the way and Uni stuff to deal with.