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19 years old, financially dependent on parents, abusive dad... i need to leave

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    honestly, i hate uni. really hate it. it depresses me almost as badly as my home life does, i cant seem to win either way. i wanted to like it so badly and really tried but its just proving ive bitten off way more than i can chew and im wasting my time and everyone elses.

    so i feel like enough of a failiure anyway. whats annoying is the kind of career i want, i am actually qualified for without a degree. (banking & finance kind of thing, i had an interview with lloyds bank back in january and unfortunately didnt get the job). the problem is with the state of the economy, its become way more competitive.

    i always said id never sell myself short and only leave uni for a job with real prospects, but im getting so low and unhappy with my life - in regard to uni and the way im being treated at home - i feel i have no choice now.
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    (Original post by professionaljack)
    honestly, i hate uni. really hate it. it depresses me almost as badly as my home life does, i cant seem to win either way. i wanted to like it so badly and really tried but its just proving ive bitten off way more than i can chew and im wasting my time and everyone elses.

    so i feel like enough of a failiure anyway. whats annoying is the kind of career i want, i am actually qualified for without a degree. (banking & finance kind of thing, i had an interview with lloyds bank back in january and unfortunately didnt get the job). the problem is with the state of the economy, its become way more competitive.

    i always said id never sell myself short and only leave uni for a job with real prospects, but im getting so low and unhappy with my life - in regard to uni and the way im being treated at home - i feel i have no choice now.
    I don't know about banking and finance, but if you are ever interested then you could always go into accounting - you don't need a degree but you would need accounting qualifications.

    This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830
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    (Original post by professionaljack)
    whatd make me proud is breaking away from this and taking care of myself, but it looks like thats gonna be a bit more difficult than i thought.
    went down the council today, all they told me was what i already knew, all the places to look for, and there i was thinking they were gonna help me through what im meant to be doing etc. yeah i know im over 18 but it doesnt mean im automatically aware of this whole process.

    on the plus side, i went round the shopping center and handed out a load of CV's, plenty of part time job vacancies going at the mo, i wouldve rather had full time but as people have said, i cant be picky. only issue now is finding somewhere cheap enough to live. i have a few mates who are looking to move out but not as urgently as me which is a bit of a problem.

    i just feel as if i need to do this quickly before im manipulated once again until the thought leaves my mind.

    p.s. thankyou for all the support in this. it seems to mean more coming from people ive never met before who arent biased one way or another.

    p.p.s. the issue of me going back to uni has been put to bed now. im not going back. thanks for all the advice regarding that but its pretty much a given now.
    Yes, you are right, u would probably be proud to break away from this.
    You say you want somewhere to live? In my earlier posts i said to go to connexions. They should hopefully set you up with a youth hostel.
    Maybe if you want to make renting a flat cheaper, you should mauybe get some mates together, and split the rent between yourselves.

    Yeah, you know, i understand the manipulation bit to it - it really gets to you. But do what i do, And humm a song, or try your hardest to not listen because you will remember EVERYTHING bad that they say to you.

    Feeling like crap is literraly crap. Which is why at this vital point in life where you have so many doors you cannot risk being upset all the time, and you need to think ahead and what you want to do in life.
    You're 18 now? This is the age when you go out into life and become independent and it's so exiting.

    Well done with the jobs, even a small income is great!

    And It's okay , anytime love, if you need me , just inbox or something

    And ohh right, try your hardest to succeed now in anything you want to do and get back on the wagon yeah, ?
    xx
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    You just sound like a baby tbh, thinks its because you've been given everything all your life
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    Your dad wants you to man up and stand up for yourself he is probably very disappointed in you for not doing so. You are their heir to the family bloodline and name it is his job to make sure you are up to the job.
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    OP, whatever you do, do not turn to religion or 'find god' or any of that crap.

    Best advice would be to not give up trying to find a part time job. Rents aren't that high, I'm sure you'll be able to get by, and I would guess that getting out of the house will mean much more than a few extra quid here and there right now.

    I can only guess your father is a middle aged, middle class monster, domesticated in his own lonely world, practically holding his wife prisoner too. Physical abuse, no matter how severe, must never be tolerated. Nor must behaviour which causes anxiety. It is so utterly selfish and unnecessary. No exceptions. I imagine many people older than yourself will be telling you you'll regret being on such bad terms in the future. Frankly, you need to make your own decision, happiness once you're out will not be short-lived like many might tell you.

    Good luck anyway!

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Updated: June 13, 2012
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