Has anyone here ever had an addiction?

Self harm. 5 years. It's been a good year or two since I was in the whole "cut multiple times on a daily basis" mode, but the last time I actually cut at all was maybe two or three weeks ago. It's a long struggle, but I'm getting there :smile:

I don't understand how cutting yourself makes you feel better? I'm not mocking your situation whatsoever... But if it was me I'd feel worse knowing I was bleeding or cut lol.

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Reply 21

RalphsDisciple

9

Original post by ChemGraduate

I don't understand how cutting yourself makes you feel better? I'm not mocking your situation whatsoever... But if it was me I'd feel worse knowing I was bleeding or cut lol.

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The thing about self harm is that you don't think about it before you do it the first time. I know I was just in so much distress (I was young, 12 years old) that I didn't know WHAT to do, and for some reason, that was just what I did. It was the only way I could get my anger out at the time. And then, as the shock of what you've just done hits you, it releases adrenalin. I'm pretty sure that's what you get addicted to. It gives you this little rush of adrenalin, this little feeling of "it's okay now, I'm in control now. I did this, I made this cut, this is mine and I can control it." In reality, you can't control it at all, you just think you can. It's VERY, VERY difficult to stop doing, and since I've been doing it so long, I've come up with literally dozens of ways to justify it to myself. Really, I know it doesn't do anything good for me, and I know all the things I tell myself are completely untrue, but it just feels like now, I've been doing it so long, it's the only coping mechanism I have left.

Reply 22

cl_steele

OP

2

Original post by ChemGraduate

I don't understand how cutting yourself makes you feel better? I'm not mocking your situation whatsoever... But if it was me I'd feel worse knowing I was bleeding or cut lol.

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i cant speak for why that particular poster did it but ive known a few people who've self harmed over the years and most did it as an escape from one pain to another. whilst physical pain i.e. the cutting you can deal with that heals right but emotional pain, one girl in particular had just witnessed her mum die a horrificaly slow and painful death due to cancer, did it for that ... there are many reasons why people do it but i always found that that seemed to be the most common, its not a fun thing :l

Reply 23

Politricks

19

Original post by DolallyDucky

I was introduced when I was 8, and was the only person who still played it in my high school and I'm a girl so meh.. Can't say it ever has or will bother me though :colone:

I miss the Tutorial Island, especially the 'Newbie Melody', the 'Newbie Melody' brings back a lot of memories, ah, I'm feeling really nostalgic now.

Reply 24

ChemGraduate

Original post by RalphsDisciple

The thing about self harm is that you don't think about it before you do it the first time. I know I was just in so much distress (I was young, 12 years old) that I didn't know WHAT to do, and for some reason, that was just what I did. It was the only way I could get my anger out at the time. And then, as the shock of what you've just done hits you, it releases adrenalin. I'm pretty sure that's what you get addicted to. It gives you this little rush of adrenalin, this little feeling of "it's okay now, I'm in control now. I did this, I made this cut, this is mine and I can control it." In reality, you can't control it at all, you just think you can. It's VERY, VERY difficult to stop doing, and since I've been doing it so long, I've come up with literally dozens of ways to justify it to myself. Really, I know it doesn't do anything good for me, and I know all the things I tell myself are completely untrue, but it just feels like now, I've been doing it so long, it's the only coping mechanism I have left.

Ouch! I must be a really horrible frame of mind to be in. I myself have suffered from mild depression but self harming must be really awful.
Have you been left with scars from the injuries? Lacerations, incisions or stabbing?
I hope you one day find a safe frame of mind, I'm not judging you, everybody is different, but maybe self harm isn't the best method of relief. But as I said, I don't know you so your situation may explain it. I truly hope you are ok.

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Reply 25

Supertoaster

1

In the 7 years I played WoW I had just over 1 year of total online time, I think that counts :s-smilie:

Reply 26

RalphsDisciple

9

Original post by ChemGraduate

Ouch! I must be a really horrible frame of mind to be in. I myself have suffered from mild depression but self harming must be really awful.
Have you been left with scars from the injuries? Lacerations, incisions or stabbing?
I hope you one day find a safe frame of mind, I'm not judging you, everybody is different, but maybe self harm isn't the best method of relief. But as I said, I don't know you so your situation may explain it. I truly hope you are ok.

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I'm fine, there's no need to worry. I'm definitely on the road to recovery. I have a good support system around me now, I'm learning to use other things to help me deal with stress, anger, upset, whatever the case may be.
I do have scars - quite a lot of them actually, but they're fading. I used to hate looking at them, because I had one particularly bad one (word of warning to anyone that does cut, I know people on forums talk about it all the time, but DON'T carve words into your skin. It's NOT a good idea!) that just kept reminding me of the horrible person I used to be, but now that one's faded to the point that it's almost invisible, I'm not ashamed of them anymore. Now, they serve as a reminder of something I've overcome, or am at least overcoming.
I know self harm's not good for me, and I'm realising now that out of all the problems I've ever had, out of all the things I ever used to cut over, I've never had a problem as big as the self harm itself, which is just ludicrous. It's much harder to justify to myself now, making it much harder to do! Thank you for caring, and I'm glad you asked about how self harm makes you feel better, rather than just assuming I'm crazy as lots of people do!

Reply 27

ddrrzzeerr

17

Original post by Sam_a225

In the 7 years I played WoW I had just over 1 year of total online time, I think that counts :s-smilie:

That is crazy. I got a game up to 72 hours and that felt like I had been on it forever.

Reply 28

charlotteyasmin

Original post by ChemGraduate

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Is that because it brings all the boys to the yard?

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Reply 29

theonefrombrum

15

I was addicted.... to her.

Reply 30

OSharp

14

Original post by ChemGraduate

I don't understand how cutting yourself makes you feel better? I'm not mocking your situation whatsoever... But if it was me I'd feel worse knowing I was bleeding or cut lol.

It releases endorphins, which is has an effect similar to an opiate and adrenaline as a throwback to when we used to have to run away from things.

also on a lighter note McCoy's Crisps

I HAVE NO REGRETS!

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 31

Deist

I used to be addicted to Halo 3 like mad; I even made another XBL account just to play more Halo

Reply 32

Anonymous #1

Original post by RalphsDisciple

Self harm. 5 years. It's been a good year or two since I was in the whole "cut multiple times on a daily basis" mode, but the last time I actually cut at all was maybe two or three weeks ago. It's a long struggle, but I'm getting there :smile:

Congrats on the improvement :smile:

It is indeed a long struggle, but totally worth it.
I was in a very similar boat. Started when I was about 11/12 and decided it wasn't solving my problems, but still found it hard to quit. I'd quit for about a week or two, and then return to it when I felt depressed. It was towards the beginning of this year that a friend slapped some sense into me and made me realise that self harming wasn't doing me any favours.
Haven't cut myself more than once/twice since February :h:

Reply 33

Minotauro

9

My brother is addicted to downloading, everything, it's kinda sad, he only started a year and half ago, but he has 2 terabytes of crap, tv shows, films, stand up shows, an entire library of stuff all in HD. He hasn't even watched most of it but he keeps downloading more, and more.
I just think it's a little weird.

Reply 34

Entangled

12

Diet Coke and Football Manager.

Reply 35

Anonymous #2

I've had a certain addiction and obsessive crush on a certain TSR member - too bad he doesn't like me back as much :cry:

Reply 36

xoxAngel_Kxox

21

Addiction to food. The problem with that addiction is that people will laugh and call you greedy, but it's different to that. I didn't WANT to eat, I HAD to eat. Diagnosed with binge eating disorder, and then had a long journey to recovery. I now go through most days without binging, but I still can't open a bar of chocolate and not finish the whole lot.. so I find it easier to just not bother with it at all.

The fact that chemengmeng has negged me shows that there is still a stigma with food addiction. There's a difference between being greedy and being unable to stop thinking about going into the kitchen and getting food. It is a recognised eating disorder, and needs to be treated as such.