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Can't leave it up to girls!

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    Hey all,
    Basically i was just thinking about this and decided to make a thread, it has been apparent for a while, in my case that you cannot leave things up to girls.
    What i mean by this is things like meeting up, like with me im straight forward, im usually the one to arrange dates and times etc and will keep to them.

    What i have noticed however is that even with many different girls, if you leave meeting up to them...it never happens.
    I mean it seems the guy has to arrange stuff all the time or you would be waiting around forever for her to do it.

    The worst of the worst you can hear from a girl is "I'll let you know"...horrible to hear as a guy, it usually pertains to meeting up or when you can ring them.

    Like a few examples:

    I asked a girl, well a few times if i could ring her...in the past it has been fine and she picked up all the time etc...however for like the past year or so she has been evasive when i ask to ring and generally gives the answer "i'll let you know whens good"..safe to say she doesnt.
    She also the other day when she randomly text me i said to her it would be nice to go out around London with her at some point, she said "i'll have to arrange something"....but i get the feeling nothing will happen unless i, myself keep bringing it up, which in turn makes me look desperate

    Another girl, who is my ex...who i havent seen in years, i said i was interested in meeting up, she seemed the same.
    But i seemed to be the one asking all the time..safe to say it hasnt happened yet, so i took the 'leave it up to her to not look desperate' angle, she said she would..safe to say like 4 months later i havent heard anything.


    These are not isolated cases, but i dont understand it..i dont like to keep asking as i look desperate but if i dont we will never, ever meet up as they never offer to.
    i said let me know when you can meet up and over 4 months have passed which is ridiculous..no one is that busy! i refuse to believe its to do with that.

    It makes me feel down because i feel unworthy of a girls time...emasculating almost.
    What do you lot think of this? im sure many of you have the same or similar experiences

    If a girl says "i'll let you know" you are basically boned.
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    I suppose guys should make the effort initially to get the ball rolling, (slightly hypocritical of me because I never do atm lol) but to be honest after the amount of time your talking about, you should both be making equal amounts of effort. If she isn't, then she aint into you mate. Relationships shouldn't have to be that difficult.
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    I would so agree to this but I have experianced it sooo different.

    I was seeing this guy and we would meet up but after a while it was always me asking him to meet and he would say yeah but then when it came to it he was too tired or couldn't be bothered with the bus ride or was busy.. Now that would all of been fine if he hadn't already said yeah.
    Last example was last week when he said texted me saying "I just finished work for the week, we should do something soon" then later on he said "next week" So then I texted him this week and asked when and he goes "I'm busy"
    :argh:
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    Personally I only let that happen if I'm not really interested.

    I have had the same situation with a guy, where I've been the one trying to arrange something and been met with a complete lack of initiative. In those cases I just give up, because he's clearly not interested. Often they don't bother, even after I stop making an effort, so I must have been right.

    So not just girls, y'know! That's just 'some people' for you.
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    They probably either don't like you but don't wont to be outright rude, want to play it "cool" and not seem like the keen one
    or just like the attention? Maybe to get a more yes or no answer text: 'do you want to go out to eat on the *give date*
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    (Original post by TranceEnergy1989)
    Hey all,
    Basically i was just thinking about this and decided to make a thread, it has been apparent for a while, in my case that you cannot leave things up to girls.
    What i mean by this is things like meeting up, like with me im straight forward, im usually the one to arrange dates and times etc and will keep to them.

    What i have noticed however is that even with many different girls, if you leave meeting up to them...it never happens.
    I mean it seems the guy has to arrange stuff all the time or you would be waiting around forever for her to do it.

    The worst of the worst you can hear from a girl is "I'll let you know"...horrible to hear as a guy, it usually pertains to meeting up or when you can ring them.

    Like a few examples:

    I asked a girl, well a few times if i could ring her...in the past it has been fine and she picked up all the time etc...however for like the past year or so she has been evasive when i ask to ring and generally gives the answer "i'll let you know whens good"..safe to say she doesnt.
    She also the other day when she randomly text me i said to her it would be nice to go out around London with her at some point, she said "i'll have to arrange something"....but i get the feeling nothing will happen unless i, myself keep bringing it up, which in turn makes me look desperate

    Another girl, who is my ex...who i havent seen in years, i said i was interested in meeting up, she seemed the same.
    But i seemed to be the one asking all the time..safe to say it hasnt happened yet, so i took the 'leave it up to her to not look desperate' angle, she said she would..safe to say like 4 months later i havent heard anything.


    These are not isolated cases, but i dont understand it..i dont like to keep asking as i look desperate but if i dont we will never, ever meet up as they never offer to.
    i said let me know when you can meet up and over 4 months have passed which is ridiculous..no one is that busy! i refuse to believe its to do with that.

    It makes me feel down because i feel unworthy of a girls time...emasculating almost.
    What do you lot think of this? im sure many of you have the same or similar experiences

    If a girl says "i'll let you know" you are basically boned.

    It's not because they're girls, it's because they're not interested in meeting up with you, but are a bit too sensitive/afraid to straight up say that they're not really interested
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    It's only cause they're not interested.

    If a girl is interested; trust me, she will make it known to you as clear as day; that she wants to go out somewhere. ~ If she's ok.

    If a girl is interested in me and says she'll call tomorrow to arrange something she will. If she's not interested and says she'll call "sometime"; she won't.
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    What the two previous posts said.

    If she's interested then she will go out of her way to meet up/ talk to you.

    Sounds like she just doesn't want you to get angry by saying she doesn't want to meet up and is just permanently postponing.

    Yes it would be better if they just straight up told you their intentions but it doesn't work like that for a variety of reasons.
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    Girls HATE having the burden of organising stuff. If things were left to them, they probably wouldn't get out much. If they're invited to something they'll go without question, but if they have to organise something themselves it'll simply never get done. Women are indecisive because they simply aren't used to making decisions, they like to be led. That's just how it is.
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    An update people:

    About the girl who i said is my ex, she messaged me back today saying "im free on wednesday what do you want to do?"

    I replied with something like going to a park or going to a museum, i get a reply a few hours later saying "im not being rude but why do you keep pestering me to meet up?"

    No all i can say is..WTF!? i dont pester her for a start and we used to meet up back in the day like it was nothing, why has it all of a sudden become a problem to meet up!? arrrgh no wonder im burnt out with girls in this place!
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    (Original post by TranceEnergy1989)
    An update people:

    About the girl who i said is my ex, she messaged me back today saying "im free on wednesday what do you want to do?"

    I replied with something like going to a park or going to a museum, i get a reply a few hours later saying "im not being rude but why do you keep pestering me to meet up?"

    No all i can say is..WTF!? i dont pester her for a start and we used to meet up back in the day like it was nothing, why has it all of a sudden become a problem to meet up!? arrrgh no wonder im burnt out with girls in this place!
    Next time you'll know better, play it cool. If you invite someone out 2-3 times, and they keep postponing, I will NOT ask them again. Most people will simply accept a general, non specific invitation (even when they have NO intention of actually doing anything) just as not to offend the person/not to rock the boat.

    If your ex/whoever said that they would get back to you, THEN LET THEM GET BACK TO YOU. If they don't do so within a reasonable time, just make plans with someone else. Simples.

    PS - she's your EX for a reason. I don't advise people to go on dates with exes. What happened in the past is just that - the past
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    I think if you're both interested in each other, you'll both make plans to meet up with each other when you can. In the beginning, yes, girls will usually wait for guys to make the moves and ask them out on dates. After a little while it's usually fairly obvious if you're both into each other though and it's at that point girls will usually start making more of an effort to make plans with you because they've decided you're worth their time and they want to see you more.

    Also, point to make. A girl who's REALLY interested will usually be very honest about her plans unless she's playing games. That means, if you call her and say "Hey, how about going out on Monday?" and she says she's busy on Monday, if she's really into you she'll probably reply something like: "I'm busy on Monday, but I'm free Thursday. You free Thursday?" A girl who's into you will make time for you. Any answers like "I'll let you know" without a follow up within a day or two, usually means "She's Just Not That Into You". Hope this helps!

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