[Anonymous]

my mum is forcing me on an arrange marriage and she's already going with the idea!!


all her cousins are helping her and they don't care about my opinion.

she wants me to marry this guy because he's an engineer and she said ONLY if i like him. i told her i don't like him and she still going forward the plan.

i can't do anything to stop and this is making me really depressed.

[alexsasg]

You should definitely tell a teacher that you trust if she's going with the idea regardless. Forced marriages are not right and you need to get someone you trust involved if your family won't listen to you.

[MrHayden]

Definitely tell somebody, your life is for you to live. Other people, even close family, have no place making decisions like that for you. An arranged marriage is a terrible thing to force upon somebody.

[The Polymath]

(Original post by Anonymous)
my mum is forcing me on an arrange marriage and she's already going with the idea!!


all her cousins are helping her and they don't care about my opinion.

she wants me to marry this guy because he's an engineer and she said ONLY if i like him. i told her i don't like him and she still going forward the plan.

i can't do anything to stop and this is making me really depressed.

Yes. Find the teacher you're most comfortable with, preferably one who's known you for a while, and just tell them. You'd be surprised at the amount of support you'll get.

[Darth Stewie]

http://www.karmanirvana.org.uk/

This is a charity that can help, give their helpline a ring and they can advise you on what to do. Obviously it is completely confidential and you don't have to give them any personal details if you don't want to. However they can offer removal from the situation if it gets volatile and will usually do so in a way that you can continue with your education and can retain as much contact with family members as you like.

Alternatively you can call the forced marriage unit on 020 7008 0151, they are a branch of the government in charge of stopping forced marriages, if there is any talk of being sent abroad or if you feel you are in immediate danger these are the people to call, any contact made with them or any information told to them is completely confidential.

Telling a person you trust like your teacher is not a bad idea however obtaining additional help from people who are experts in dealing with this issue would probably be a good idea as well.

[brendonbackflip]

Yes, please do. Also the link that someone just posted would be good too if you need it I'm glad you're considering telling someone, it might be scary when you do but the outcome will be worth it. Hope you'll be all right!

[EatRainbows]

Please tell a teacher >: I hope everything turns out ok.

[SpiggyTopes]

Since you have a teacher, you are probably young enough to call Childline.

I wouldn't tell a teacher. It would be a massive burden for them.

[fuze-mo25]

you have to tell someone, i was watching a programme were they actually went after some girls whose parents setup arranged marriages for them in pakistan and they bought the girls back! so there are forms of help and charities setup to help so make sure you do tell someone.

btw you posted as anonymous but your username shows in the edit

[OurSeaBee]

You should certainly tell someone. If you don't want to be married, nobody should be able to force you.

Posting here about it was extremely brave, but you might need to be a bit braver still when telling someone.

[Josh93]

(Original post by SpiggyTopes)
Since you have a teacher, you are probably young enough to call Childline.

I wouldn't tell a teacher. It would be a massive burden for them.

Pastoral care is part of their job, they sign up for that burden.

my mum is forcing me on an arrange marriage and she's already going with the idea!!

I would definitely talk to whichever teacher you're most comfortable with, if nothing else they should know who to get in touch with in order to help you - if this isn't what you want then you have to get help, however hard that may be it's completely wrong for anyone to force you to marry someone that you don't want to.
Hat off to you for having the courage to stand up for yourself too.

[Mother_Russia]

(Original post by SpiggyTopes)
Since you have a teacher, you are probably young enough to call Childline.

I wouldn't tell a teacher. It would be a massive burden for them.

No, because teachers have the responsibility to tell someone who's more experienced with these matters.

OP, I would definitely tell a teacher. Fnd someone you're at ease to talk to, and then they'll be able to direct you to people who will be able to help you more.

Also, don't get forced confused with arranged marriage. But if you seriously think it could turn into a forced marriage, then definitely contact someone ASAP.

[janeyjaney]

(Original post by fuze-mo25)
you have to tell someone, i was watching a programme were they actually went after some girls whose parents setup arranged marriages for them in pakistan and they bought the girls back! so there are forms of help and charities setup to help so make sure you do tell someone.

btw you posted as anonymous but your username shows in the edit

sazzy890 is a Uni age TSR moderator so, I guess, not the actual op ???

[m1a1tank]

pretend you're going out with a doctor.. then she won't care about the engineer

[AxlGirlxai]

Good news for you! Forced marriages are officially a crime now in England and wales

[soempty]

Don't marry him unless you like him or can benefit from this marriage. If he is coming from royalty or very rich family it will actually bring your life to a new level and will give you a lot of opportunities which you could employ if you are reckless enough to go for.

[Dee Leigh]

(Original post by Anonymous)
my mum is forcing me on an arrange marriage and she's already going with the idea!!


all her cousins are helping her and they don't care about my opinion.

she wants me to marry this guy because he's an engineer and she said ONLY if i like him. i told her i don't like him and she still going forward the plan.

i can't do anything to stop and this is making me really depressed.

Please please tell a teacher.

PM me please. I can help in more detail and I promise I wont reveal your identity.

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830

[Dee Leigh]

(Original post by fuze-mo25)
you have to tell someone, i was watching a programme were they actually went after some girls whose parents setup arranged marriages for them in pakistan and they bought the girls back! so there are forms of help and charities setup to help so make sure you do tell someone.

btw you posted as anonymous but your username shows in the edit

That might be one of the Mods, cos sometimes they edit anon posts.

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830

[Coke1]

Yes, tell a teacher!
Have you been listening to the news lately? Arranged marriages are going to be made illegal, so your Mum could actually face prosecution my forcing you into this.

Talk to a teacher, anyone you trust. No matter how hard things may seem, do NOT go through with this! Your Mum is NOT right, and NOT doing what is best for you by encouraging you into this, even though she is in her eyes.

Be adamant with your Mum though. I know she is your Mum, so I don't mean be rude, but I mean just firmly tell her, I am not going through with this marriage.

If bush comes to shove, you will have to take this into the hands of the legal system, because you need to be happy, and happiness will not be possible from being forced into this!

[GeneralOJB]

Why tell a teacher? They're teachers, not personal helpers, they won't care and your family problems have nothing to do with them. If you don't want the marriage, simply refuse it, that's your legal right. I see no issue here.