[brunettegirl92]

(Original post by I Gurn Hard)
This is the problem really. "I'm moaning about being bullied but i'm not willing to change, even superficially."

There is no way you can stop them without changing the way you feel when it happens. There is no way you can change the way you feel when it happens without changing yourself. "Conservative dresser", "not really one for the gym", you ask for help and then respond with that garbage? Man, you remind me of some of the kids from my old school who let themselves be continually belittled and victimised. Pull yourself out of the slurry tank - you'll thank yourself later when you have the confidence to leave the house without having an anxiety attack.

why should he have to change? he has done nothing wrong, and he has a right to be who he is.

It is true that changes have to happen, but he doesn't have to be the change.
Getting the police involved is a change, as it brings in unavoidable consequences for the culprits, and an authority that scares most teenagers ****less.
moving away is also a change, as it physically removes him from the situation, but it isn't really fair that he has to relocate.

[M4LLY]

Get the police on it

[I Gurn Hard]

(Original post by brunettegirl92)
why should he have to change? he has done nothing wrong, and he has a right to be who he is.

It is true that changes have to happen, but he doesn't have to be the change.
Getting the police involved is a change, as it brings in unavoidable consequences for the culprits, and an authority that scares most teenagers ****less.
moving away is also a change, as it physically removes him from the situation, but it isn't really fair that he has to relocate.

These are all actions that a victim would take. I'm sorry, but in my opinion people should concentrate on feeling confident enough to walk around their hometown before calling for mummy/the police and literally running away by moving house.

You say why should he have to change? To prevent these cowardly bullies from putting dog **** through his letterbox when he takes your foolish advice to get the police involved, or when he surrenders to the victim mentality and moves away.

I could just turn your question around and ask you - why should he have to call the police on a load of kids who are just jibing him? Why should he have to move away for the sake of some petty little gimps who are capitalising on his weakness?

[heymoriarty]

(Original post by Stevo112)
shout abuse back!

My goodness, that's possibly one of the worst things to do in this situation. Please, please, please don't 'shout abuse back', OP. It will only aggravate them and make matters worse, especially with large groups of bullies. You don't want to be in the situation where you have a black eye and the bully claims that you offended him somehow... basically, don't sink down to their level.

Your predicament doesn't sound whiny at all.

If you feel incredibly threatened by them, then you should tell someone. Maybe tell the police, they might be able to check if there's any CCTV footage outside Sainsbury's which might help to identify your bullies. Tell your teachers. Tell your parents. Don't keep this to yourself. A problem shared is a problem solved... sort of.

Maybe you could walk with a group of friends. Or you could walk home when the area is busier. If people are around, then you have witnesses if something happens.

You should also consider seeing a doctor about your eating problems, or even a school counsellor if you're feeling nervous. They will seriously help you build your confidence back up again.

I know that it's probably hard for you right now, but it will get better. Just keep revising for your exams and keep in mind that they are the losers.

[ThatPerson]

(Original post by Anonymous)

Thankyou vet much for this. I not now I did put a little much n, perhaps I was a little emotional. Moderators, I'm sorry, could you please edit out personal details. Thankyou. .

You can edit your posts yourself can't you? Or can you not do that while using the "anonymous" post option?

Also, my opinion is, they are bullies that pick on you because they feel that you cannot do anything. But you are 6ft approximately 9 stone and in year 12. Just turn around next time they say something at at the very least tell them to get lost. They are all younger and smaller than you - this difference is probably less noticeable between the Y11's but the points stands. Exeter sounds like a crappy place to be.

[brunettegirl92]

(Original post by I Gurn Hard)
These are all actions that a victim would take. I'm sorry, but in my opinion people should concentrate on feeling confident enough to walk around their hometown before calling for mummy/the police and literally running away by moving house.

You say why should he have to change? To prevent these cowardly bullies from putting dog **** through his letterbox when he takes your foolish advice to get the police involved, or when he surrenders to the victim mentality and moves away.

I could just turn your question around and ask you - why should he have to call the police on a load of kids who are just jibing him? Why should he have to move away for the sake of some petty little gimps who are capitalising on his weakness?

yes he should feel confident, but it doesn't mean he should turn into one of those 'hard nut' guys who peacock around in tank tops as if he thinks he's the dog's *******s, and generally become less than affectionately known as the town nutcase.
you seem to have a phobia of victimhood, but what you don't seem to understand is that a victim is a victim when the do nothing at all, or become something they don't want to be. they change for these sick individuals. these people don't deserve him to change for them.
I don't know about you, but there are only two people i change for; someone i love, and myself.
the moment you change for everone and anyone, particuarly these nobodies, you become a nobody because you don't even have a personality.

Someone who isn't a victim says, this is who i am, so **** you, you and you.
He does not change who he is. he fine - being more confident in who they are NOW doesn't change who someone is, it makes them shine brighter. He does not run away. He says this is what I can do to end it, and end it now. HE says it.

my advice is hardly foolish because there is little stopping them from putting dog **** through his letter box now. with leagl help, or restraining orders, there is an arrest warrant.

I did not say he should move away - if you read the post properly, it was explaining how various changes will alter the situation without HIM BEING the change. I wouldn't move away: i'm too strong for that, just as i am too strong to change who i am.

everyone has a weakness - his apparently is that he is intelligent, reserved and well mannered (wait...are they supposed to be bad things?!?)
Why should he go to the police or solicitor- um, because they can give him legal advice - as what is happening IS illegal, and he doesn't have to abandon who he is or be forced into being someone he is not.
It also means that they can get arrested - if one person gets arrested, word will go round and they are likely to back off - if not, they get arrested or are cautioned themselves.
we live in a civilized society, we are not anarchists, and the law is the utlimate power (whether or not i agree with all of it). and if you break it, **** happens. and this scares teenagers who 'go along with it' . most of the bullies are merely passengers and there are probably only a few ring leaders. when the ring leaders stop, so does everyone else.

[Formerly Helpful_C]

(Original post by Anonymous)
hi TSR

This started with something that i thought would be quite trivial. in year 10, I went for senior prefect, which involved doing speeches to both the student and staff body for votes. I managed to get on the team, but I wish I had never bothered.

I don't know what it is about me, but I was more noticeable than anybody else who bothered and putting myself in front fo the whole school meant that lots more people knew who i was, yet I didn't know anybody else. I have always had some abuse in education, but after I had done that whole election thing, I started getting a hundred-fold the abuse. People would shout and yell at me in the corridor at school (people who i didn't know), everything from sarcastic greetings and compliments to really nasty comments I couldn't imagine saying to anybody. a few members have physically abused me, tripping me over and pushing me. One of them even tried to throw me down the stairs at my old school. I tried reporting them, but as i knew none of the names, I couldn't do anything.

At the time I was 6" and about 12 and half stone, and so I had abuse about my weight as well. I didn't get this formally diagnosed, but my friends think I had developed an eating disorder, where I would skip 2 meals a day and often would miss dinner from feeling "ill". in my last months of Y11, during my GCSEs, I dropped 3 stone.

now I have finished Y12, yet on the way home from college I still experience verbal abuse on the streets from the people at my old school. They are younger than me, but when i am alone and there are ten of them, I can't do anything about it. I often will camp out in the college library to after 6 so I avoid them, but even then because i live in the same area so I'm scared to go outside anywhere near my house because I know I can meet them. For example, I lead a small group of scouts and they were having a cokking competition last yesterday. They ran out of butter so i had to go to the local sainsbury's and in the carpark I was threatened by a group of about 12 Y11s.

I hope this doesn't sound whiny, but I am absolutely despairing at the minute. I hate exeter and everything about it, I just want to leave so much. I am studying A Levels with the hope of university, but now I want to get into university more so I can get away from this place, than actually wanting to study (which I really do, I have wanted to study medicine for years and have worked really hard both in school to get good enough grades and in voluntary work etc). I have stabilised my diet a little, but I still despise eating anything because I hate the way my body looks. I just don't know what to do though, I have tolerated enough and I don't think I can handle another yea of this. I still don't know who any of them are, is there anything I can do about this?

Height or **** length?