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friends and my birthday- annoying issue

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    all my friends are from Uni.
    Its really annoying because my birthday falls end of august before everyone is back at uni. so by the time we're back its like my birthday never happened.

    Now i find this really irritating when its everyone else's birthday because everyone expects me to get them a present and stuff (the 1 time i didnt get a girl a present it caused a massive fuss and fall out because she decided to have a go at me). which fair enough, it might have been really tight of me, but i hate having to buy everyone something for their birthday and then on mine its just nothing. especially when it happens every year.

    now this year, im living with 4 other girls. weve already planned a trip away for one of their birthdays. and theyve already said that we're getting each other expensive presents this year for our Big 21'st's. they kinda just assumed i was okay with this.

    Now what should i do? Should i arrange to do something for freshers week for my birthday ? (bearing in mind this is mid september and my birthday is end of august). and if they dont do anything nice for my birthday should i still go all out on them for theirs like theyre expecting??
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    I think if they are your true friends they should remember your birthday even though they are not with you at the time. But I think to save arguments you have nothing to lose by still attending their celebrations and perhaps buying a small gift just so you don't come off as the bad guy. If anyone remarks then politely ask where your birthday card was for the past few years??
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    gotta do what you gotta do to get an expensive present!
    I also gather youre far from the alpha female, if you start mimicing alpha female traits the others will gravitate towards you like flies to a carcass
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    or just pretend your birthday is on a day that falls during uni time
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    Just have a big, messy one to celebrate it when you go back. Use FB to make everyone aware of it so they can arrange time off of work etc, sorted.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by MonkeySee)
    gotta do what you gotta do to get an expensive present!
    I also gather youre far from the alpha female, if you start mimicing alpha female traits the others will gravitate towards you like flies to a carcass
    please tell me what these alpha female traits are?
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by M4LLY)
    Just have a big, messy one to celebrate it when you go back. Use FB to make everyone aware of it so they can arrange time off of work etc, sorted.
    yeh i was gonna make a facebook event but the last time i did that- i did it a month in advance and then on the day all my so called friends dropped out anyway.

    plus its freshers week so more likely everyone is doing their own things whichever day i choose. can just see its gonna be another year where im forking for everyone elses presents and get zilch back
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    6 months after your birthday have a huge party explain it's in lieu of your 'proper' birthday.
    People will bring gifts.

    Solved.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeh i was gonna make a facebook event but the last time i did that- i did it a month in advance and then on the day all my so called friends dropped out anyway.

    plus its freshers week so more likely everyone is doing their own things whichever day i choose. can just see its gonna be another year where im forking for everyone elses presents and get zilch back
    Just arrange to meet up with them all and to go pre-drinking and stick together for a night
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    please tell me what these alpha female traits are?
    its complicated, google it
    you will have to feign/have confidence and give people the impression you know exactly what youre doing and are in control at all times, that kinda thang
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    the 1 time i didnt get a girl a present it caused a massive fuss and fall out because she decided to have a go at me
    EXCUSE ME? WHAT?!

    Who the hell has a go at someone for not getting them a present?! Did you point out that she didn't get you one either?

    Sheesh - these people don't sound like friends. I've had the odd occasion where I couldn't afford a big present and my friends have never mentioned it, so then I save up and a week later I get them two massive presents, or I pitch in with other people who may have money issues. Friends aren't meant to expect presents! And they should remember your birthday, even if they can't be there! I have August friends and I always ring them on their birthday and give them a present the next time I see them! If anyone dared yell at me over a present, I would never even go to their birthday event again, let alone even talk to them again!

    And what's this about 'big 21st birthday presents in the house' - they can't just say it's being done and expect you to go along with it! How ridiculous!

    My God, please get better friends who are less material.
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    (Original post by Midnight-Sky-Blue)
    EXCUSE ME? WHAT?!

    Who the hell has a go at someone for not getting them a present?! Did you point out that she didn't get you one either?

    Sheesh - these people don't sound like friends. I've had the odd occasion where I couldn't afford a big present and my friends have never mentioned it, so then I save up and a week later I get them two massive presents, or I pitch in with other people who may have money issues. Friends aren't meant to expect presents! And they should remember your birthday, even if they can't be there! I have August friends and I always ring them on their birthday and give them a present the next time I see them! If anyone dared yell at me over a present, I would never even go to their birthday event again, let alone even talk to them again!

    And what's this about 'big 21st birthday presents in the house' - they can't just say it's being done and expect you to go along with it! How ridiculous!

    My God, please get better friends who are less material.
    yes well we live together but have never really got on and i dont really like her. when it was her birthday i didnt get her anything because i dont really class her as a friend. Then she had a go at me for not even wishing her happy birthday (even though i was the 1st person to write it on her fb wall and i went and said it to her when i saw her :confused: )

    then i said ''well u didnt get me anything for my birthday'' and she said she sent me a text, but how could she give me something when she didnt see me.

    Then we went out for drinks and told me i ''owed'' her a few (i was going to get her some anyway just to shut her up....but that just annoyed me. )
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    all my friends are from Uni.
    Its really annoying because my birthday falls end of august before everyone is back at uni. so by the time we're back its like my birthday never happened.

    Now i find this really irritating when its everyone else's birthday because everyone expects me to get them a present and stuff (the 1 time i didnt get a girl a present it caused a massive fuss and fall out because she decided to have a go at me). which fair enough, it might have been really tight of me, but i hate having to buy everyone something for their birthday and then on mine its just nothing. especially when it happens every year.

    now this year, im living with 4 other girls. weve already planned a trip away for one of their birthdays. and theyve already said that we're getting each other expensive presents this year for our Big 21'st's. they kinda just assumed i was okay with this.

    Now what should i do? Should i arrange to do something for freshers week for my birthday ? (bearing in mind this is mid september and my birthday is end of august). and if they dont do anything nice for my birthday should i still go all out on them for theirs like theyre expecting??
    Give and take. Put the same effort they put in their own birthdays on your birthday and they put in your birthday on their birthdays. If anyone says anything - say that that's what you're doing. I'm sorry but she sounds like a horrible friend.

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Updated: June 12, 2012
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