[COD3X]

Here's a little rhyme I put together, just want some feedback on it. It's just something I do in my spare time...

So about two years back, around the time I started to slack,
I was handed my college timetable and what was printed in black,
My subjects such as Physics, Maths, I.T and Art,
Determination to succeed wasn't present, so I failed to start,
My dress code consisted of blue jeans matched with street clothes,
From Spring to Summer, even in Autumn to when the weather froze,
I kept it real with all my peers I grew closer to,
Even now, as I'm expressing my story to you...

This is just a short version of what I had written down just to give you an idea...

[COD3X]

Bump... Would like some feedback please and if anyone would like to hear a second part?

[the bear]

*OP i enjoyed part I and hope that this meets with your approval


Part II

so listen up children
you may think it's cool
to chill with your bredren
when you should be in school
this sad mutha***** has thrown it away
no prospects no income
no future no pay
his garments are mouldy
his friends all are gone
he can't go to college
for grades he has none
so turn off your ipods
and break out the books
the examiners don't give
a flying **** for your looks
it's all about learning
improving your mind
if you leave it too late
you'll be always behind;
and after attaining
your glittering prize
why then you can
chill out and hang
with the guys