[EmmaRose1410]

Hello, I was hoping to get some outside advice on my situation . . .

From ages 6-15 I was a dancer. I won many awards and competitions and had high hopes of making a career in dance, if not then some kind of sporting career as I was an active person and physical activity relieved my stress. From the amount of activity I did I developed a cartilage condition in my knee at 15 which has lead to a further 5 operations and has completely stopped any sports I did. I am now 20 and awaiting further major knee surgery as my condition still stands. Because of my surgeries I have had to drop out of education and find it hard to hold down a job because of the amount of time I require off sick. I feel constantly depressed and stressed as I feel my life is been wasted as I cannot pursue anything I wish and cannot find a way to relieve my stress. I have tried many different hobbies but nothing seems to work. I desperately miss dancing as it was my passion and its always hard to stop something you love. My doctor is reluctant to prescribe me with antidepressants due to my age and I am now having severe trouble sleeping. Contributing to my stress is managing to make my direct debit payments and my ever mounting pile of debt. I am currently claiming ESA which barely covers my debts and as mentioned I cannot hold down a job to earn more money due to my knee. I am also unable to claim disability. I have been offered a part time office job which I have not started yet however I fear that once they find out I am waiting for major surgery they may not want to keep my job offer open (I will require at least 3 months off sick). I feel like I am moving backwards whilst the people around me are moving forwards and establishing their own lives by progressing in their jobs or education and earning money whilst I have nothing yet to show for my life besides my GCSE's and the scars on my knee. My friends don't really understand my situation and always question my answers when I cannot go out clubbing ect due to either my knee or low funds. I do have a supportive boyfriend though. To add to my stress, my mom is bipolar and we fear that she is slowly becoming ill again which takes an enormous emotional toll on my family. I would really appreciate your thoughts on what I should do? I feel at a loss and need some advice as I am now 5 years into a personal nightmare and things are still not looking up. Thank you

[bahjat93]

(Original post by EmmaRose1410)
Hello, I was hoping to get some outside advice on my situation . . .

From ages 6-15 I was a dancer. I won many awards and competitions and had high hopes of making a career in dance, if not then some kind of sporting career as I was an active person and physical activity relieved my stress. From the amount of activity I did I developed a cartilage condition in my knee at 15 which has lead to a further 5 operations and has completely stopped any sports I did. I am now 20 and awaiting further major knee surgery as my condition still stands. Because of my surgeries I have had to drop out of education and find it hard to hold down a job because of the amount of time I require off sick. I feel constantly depressed and stressed as I feel my life is been wasted as I cannot pursue anything I wish and cannot find a way to relieve my stress. I have tried many different hobbies but nothing seems to work. I desperately miss dancing as it was my passion and its always hard to stop something you love. My doctor is reluctant to prescribe me with antidepressants due to my age and I am now having severe trouble sleeping. Contributing to my stress is managing to make my direct debit payments and my ever mounting pile of debt. I am currently claiming ESA which barely covers my debts and as mentioned I cannot hold down a job to earn more money due to my knee. I am also unable to claim disability. I have been offered a part time office job which I have not started yet however I fear that once they find out I am waiting for major surgery they may not want to keep my job offer open (I will require at least 3 months off sick). I feel like I am moving backwards whilst the people around me are moving forwards and establishing their own lives by progressing in their jobs or education and earning money whilst I have nothing yet to show for my life besides my GCSE's and the scars on my knee. My friends don't really understand my situation and always question my answers when I cannot go out clubbing ect due to either my knee or low funds. I do have a supportive boyfriend though. To add to my stress, my mom is bipolar and we fear that she is slowly becoming ill again which takes an enormous emotional toll on my family. I would really appreciate your thoughts on what I should do? I feel at a loss and need some advice as I am now 5 years into a personal nightmare and things are still not looking up. Thank you

Boys dig scars .
Why don't you try an OU (Open University) Course. They are made for people who have busy lives and the degrees they offer are pretty respected .
On a funnier note try becoming a pro gambler

[EmmaRose1410]

It's a bunch of horrible red scars!! Lol
I am actually enrolled on a OU course already to start at the end of the year, I just have concerns about earning money whilst I study.
I'll keep that gambler advice in mind too! Thank you

[Bettypratchit]

(Original post by EmmaRose1410)
Hello, I was hoping to get some outside advice on my situation . . .

From ages 6-15 I was a dancer. I won many awards and competitions and had high hopes of making a career in dance, if not then some kind of sporting career as I was an active person and physical activity relieved my stress. From the amount of activity I did I developed a cartilage condition in my knee at 15 which has lead to a further 5 operations and has completely stopped any sports I did. I am now 20 and awaiting further major knee surgery as my condition still stands. Because of my surgeries I have had to drop out of education and find it hard to hold down a job because of the amount of time I require off sick. I feel constantly depressed and stressed as I feel my life is been wasted as I cannot pursue anything I wish and cannot find a way to relieve my stress. I have tried many different hobbies but nothing seems to work. I desperately miss dancing as it was my passion and its always hard to stop something you love. My doctor is reluctant to prescribe me with antidepressants due to my age and I am now having severe trouble sleeping. Contributing to my stress is managing to make my direct debit payments and my ever mounting pile of debt. I am currently claiming ESA which barely covers my debts and as mentioned I cannot hold down a job to earn more money due to my knee. I am also unable to claim disability. I have been offered a part time office job which I have not started yet however I fear that once they find out I am waiting for major surgery they may not want to keep my job offer open (I will require at least 3 months off sick). I feel like I am moving backwards whilst the people around me are moving forwards and establishing their own lives by progressing in their jobs or education and earning money whilst I have nothing yet to show for my life besides my GCSE's and the scars on my knee. My friends don't really understand my situation and always question my answers when I cannot go out clubbing ect due to either my knee or low funds. I do have a supportive boyfriend though. To add to my stress, my mom is bipolar and we fear that she is slowly becoming ill again which takes an enormous emotional toll on my family. I would really appreciate your thoughts on what I should do? I feel at a loss and need some advice as I am now 5 years into a personal nightmare and things are still not looking up. Thank you

First of all you seem like an inspiration with what you have gone through the past few years, you should be proud of your achievements and don't let others put you down otherwise they're not worth bothering with. I suggest that maybe it would be helpful if you go to your Doctors to see what they suggest, they may advise you to just talk through your problems with a councillor. Talking, believe me, helps a lot with issue that may happen with you. Maybe talk to your boyfriend instead- or another person you can trust, relieving stress by talking is a recommended idea!

Maybe you should consider producing an action plan of what you want to do with your life in the next 5 years or so e.g. In the next year I want to find a job doing blah.. etc! This will help you focus on something and deal with the things that are happening around you.

If you are still having surgey on you knee at this stage on your life it does sound like you won't be able to do competitive dancing again, although obviously I am no expert. You never know maybe in a few years time you will be able to do dancing just for fun.

Also there are other ways to be involved with dancing without actually physically doing it, for example maybe you should think about starting your own business or setting up a website where you help people with dance- kind of like coaching them. Or you could simply have a website where it's just an interest site in all things dance!

You have to reasses yourself e.g. your stregths and weaknesses and what other things you enjoy doing apart from dancing that maybe you could do in the future to make a career out of it. For example dance journalism and so on.

I wish you all the luck for the future.

[James82]

(Original post by EmmaRose1410)
Hello, I was hoping to get some outside advice on my situation . . .

From ages 6-15 I was a dancer. I won many awards and competitions and had high hopes of making a career in dance, if not then some kind of sporting career as I was an active person and physical activity relieved my stress. From the amount of activity I did I developed a cartilage condition in my knee at 15 which has lead to a further 5 operations and has completely stopped any sports I did. I am now 20 and awaiting further major knee surgery as my condition still stands. Because of my surgeries I have had to drop out of education and find it hard to hold down a job because of the amount of time I require off sick. I feel constantly depressed and stressed as I feel my life is been wasted as I cannot pursue anything I wish and cannot find a way to relieve my stress. I have tried many different hobbies but nothing seems to work. I desperately miss dancing as it was my passion and its always hard to stop something you love. My doctor is reluctant to prescribe me with antidepressants due to my age and I am now having severe trouble sleeping. Contributing to my stress is managing to make my direct debit payments and my ever mounting pile of debt. I am currently claiming ESA which barely covers my debts and as mentioned I cannot hold down a job to earn more money due to my knee. I am also unable to claim disability. I have been offered a part time office job which I have not started yet however I fear that once they find out I am waiting for major surgery they may not want to keep my job offer open (I will require at least 3 months off sick). I feel like I am moving backwards whilst the people around me are moving forwards and establishing their own lives by progressing in their jobs or education and earning money whilst I have nothing yet to show for my life besides my GCSE's and the scars on my knee. My friends don't really understand my situation and always question my answers when I cannot go out clubbing ect due to either my knee or low funds. I do have a supportive boyfriend though. To add to my stress, my mom is bipolar and we fear that she is slowly becoming ill again which takes an enormous emotional toll on my family. I would really appreciate your thoughts on what I should do? I feel at a loss and need some advice as I am now 5 years into a personal nightmare and things are still not looking up. Thank you

Why would you need three months off sick from an office job? It's only knee surgery.

[EmmaRose1410]

(Original post by Bettypratchit)
First of all you seem like an inspiration with what you have gone through the past few years, you should be proud of your achievements and don't let others put you down otherwise they're not worth bothering with. I suggest that maybe it would be helpful if you go to your Doctors to see what they suggest, they may advise you to just talk through your problems with a councillor. Talking, believe me, helps a lot with issue that may happen with you. Maybe talk to your boyfriend instead- or another person you can trust, relieving stress by talking is a recommended idea!

Maybe you should consider producing an action plan of what you want to do with your life in the next 5 years or so e.g. In the next year I want to find a job doing blah.. etc! This will help you focus on something and deal with the things that are happening around you.

If you are still having surgey on you knee at this stage on your life it does sound like you won't be able to do competitive dancing again, although obviously I am no expert. You never know maybe in a few years time you will be able to do dancing just for fun.

Also there are other ways to be involved with dancing without actually physically doing it, for example maybe you should think about starting your own business or setting up a website where you help people with dance- kind of like coaching them. Or you could simply have a website where it's just an interest site in all things dance!

You have to reasses yourself e.g. your stregths and weaknesses and what other things you enjoy doing apart from dancing that maybe you could do in the future to make a career out of it. For example dance journalism and so on.

I wish you all the luck for the future.

Thank you for your advice, making an action plan and a website is something I am definitely going to look into but sadly no, unable to dance competitively again.

I am looking at 3 months off sick as I will be having a open knee cartilage transplant. I had this done in 2010 but unfortunately the cartilage did not stay in place. Overall it is a two year recovery period, I was bed-ridden for nearly 2 months and it took me approximately 3 months to regain enough strength to walk without an aid on a daily basis. The use of crutches in a workplace can sometimes been seen as a hazard therefore I wouldn't be able to return until I could manage on my own.

[advent2]

(Original post by EmmaRose1410)
Contributing to my stress is managing to make my direct debit payments and my ever mounting pile of debt. I am currently claiming ESA which barely covers my debts and as mentioned I cannot hold down a job to earn more money due to my knee.

I work as a debt advisor at Citizens Advice Bureau. In terms of your finances, the first thing we do with a client usually is a financial statement. Write down all income coming in to the household (If ESA is your only income, it will be that) and write down all your expenditure. You can download a free budget sheet from Advice Guide, the CAB website. Just google it.

It will help to put your finances in to perspective. The next step is to prioritise your debts. The priority debts are mortgage/rent (if you don't pay, you could be evicted); council tax (if you don't pay, bailiffs are usually instructed and you can be sent to prison for being a willful non-payer); gas and electric (they can install prepayment meters or disconnect you); TV Licence (a Court fine is likely for non payment) and any secured loans (if you have a mortgaged property) or Court fines. (Courts usually instruct Bailiffs who have a right of forced entry.)

Water rates is non-priority as they cannot disconnect you by law.

Everything else such as loans, credit cards, catalogues, pay day loans e.t.c. is non-priority. If you are struggling to make payments to your non-priority creditors, the Citizens Advice Bureau can negotiate more affordable repayments for you.

If you get in to trouble with your water arrears, a lot of water companies usually operate a Trust fund you can apply to for grants to clear your water arrears. I had one client receive a grant for over £4000 worth. I'm not advising you get in to debt, am just pointing out that there is help available.

British Gas, EDF and N Power all have their own Trust funds which can be applied to for grants to clear your gas and electric arrears. In exceptional circumstances you can also apply for help with rent and council tax arrears. Other things can be applied for too such as household items, funeral expenses e.t.c.

This is not going to solve your problems overall and make you feel better but I know debt can put a lot of people under stress hence why I am giving this advice to try and improve your situation.

[advent2]

(Original post by EmmaRose1410)
Thank you for your advice, making an action plan and a website is something I am definitely going to look into but sadly no, unable to dance competitively again.

I ordered a DVD from America called 'Strong', it is about the different members of a gym in New Jersey.

The guy who set up the gym was an American Football Player when he was in high school and he had a promising career ahead of him but then he developed tumours in his back and that ended his career.

He could no longer pursue the career he wanted so he set up the gym to help others achieve their dreams. As you watch the DVD, you see some members of his gym secure contracts in American Football. It's a really inspiring dvd, I recommend getting it.

You can't choose the hand life deals you but you can choose how you deal with that.

You have the opporuntity to be a huge inspiration to other dancers.