My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)
For questions and advice about interpersonal relationships with friends, housemates, family and work colleagues.
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Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)He is said that he and B won't be friends?(Original post by Anonymous)
So i had a thing with the boy called 'A' we slept together numerous times but nothing came of it because he wasnt very nice to me and didnt like me very much.
He is a very aggressive person even and drinks everyday in excess as well as doing drugs e.g. weed, MDMA (3 times in 4 days previsouly) and has done cocaine etc etc
Last night he was messing around in the flat and i told him to stop and lightly slapped his chest (im 7 stone and 5 foot 4 he is big built with muscles and 6 foot 2 so wouldnt have hurt)
he cornered me against a door got in my face and threatened me
I dont know what ot do
he doesnt feel bad at all, he just feels bad because my friend 'B' had to drag him off me and is sad that him and person 'B' are not going to be friends
Im living with him next year too
help
That's a shame. -
Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)The point is she brought up these substances and tried to frame it all in with him being violent and aggressive. MDMA makes you fall in love with everyone and weed makes you passive to the point where you can't even be bothered getting angry.(Original post by sconter)
someone who OP is trying to build a case against to make them look like a bad person, the fact these drugs dont have that kind of side effect is irrelevant.. -
Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)exactly.(Original post by Dark Horse)
The point is she brought up these substances and tried to frame it all in with him being violent and aggressive. MDMA makes you fall in love with everyone and weed makes you passive to the point where you can't even be bothered getting angry. -
Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)The question was rhetorical(Original post by Jimbo1234)

Because both are adults and should be able to verbalise the issue, where as children tend to be obtuse and can help their social skills develop.
To even have to ask is worrying and hilarious all at the same time

It's interesting how you think children cannot sort out behavioural issues with their parents without violence, it's a very warped viewpoint to say the least. It's you I feel sorry for, your defence mechanism is to giggle at things you disagree with, that's fine if it makes you feel better about yourself.Last edited by SpicyStrawberry; 18-06-2012 at 00:00. -
Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)Or that a childs idea of morality is very different to an adult as the understanding of mistakes and consequences mature. This is why trying to explain yourself to a child is sometimes futile. How do you not know this ?(Original post by SpicyStrawberry)
The question was rhetorical
It's interesting how you think children cannot sort out behavioural issues with their parents without violence, it's a very warped viewpoint to say the least. It's you I feel sorry for, your defence mechanism is to giggle at things you disagree with, that's fine if it makes you feel better about yourself.
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Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)You shouldn't need to explain yourself to a child, you tell the child what they did wrong in a calm manner in a way they understand and tell them to go to their room or whatever punishment is appropriate for their bad behaviour.(Original post by Jimbo1234)
Or that a childs idea of morality is very different to an adult as the understanding of mistakes and consequences mature. This is why trying to explain yourself to a child is sometimes futile. How do you not know this ?
An adult who was hit as a child as a punishment stands a chance of growing up believing that hitting others is the right thing to do when there is a disagreement, instead of solving it amicably. -
Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)...which is sometimes a smack.(Original post by SpicyStrawberry)
You shouldn't need to explain yourself to a child, you tell the child what they did wrong in a calm manner in a way they understand and tell them to go to their room or whatever punishment is appropriate for their bad behaviour.
If you tell them in a calm manner all the time than I doubt they will understand the difference between being a little rude and killing another child, or sometimes the child will just forget such a dull event.
So you just ignored everything I said in my previous post?An adult who was hit as a child as a punishment stands a chance of growing up believing that hitting others is the right thing to do when there is a disagreement, instead of solving it amicably.
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Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)Okay, so what happens if you give the child a smack and they continue to misbehave? You beat them up?(Original post by Jimbo1234)
...which is sometimes a smack.
If you tell them in a calm manner all the time than I doubt they will understand the difference between being a little rude and killing another child, or sometimes the child will just forget such a dull event.
So you just ignored everything I said in my previous post?
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Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)Go to the doctors and see if the child is handicapped.(Original post by SpicyStrawberry)
Okay, so what happens if you give the child a smack and they continue to misbehave? You beat them up?
I have never known a child to be that stupid or immune to pain. -
Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)The doctor comes back with the results and there's nothing medically wrong with your child. What then? Not all children care that their parents hit them, they still misbehave anyway.(Original post by Jimbo1234)
Go to the doctors and see if the child is handicapped.
I have never known a child to be that stupid or immune to pain. -
Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)(Original post by SpicyStrawberry)
The doctor comes back with the results and there's nothing medically wrong with your child. What then? Not all children care that their parents hit them, they still misbehave anyway.
I have never known or heard of such rubbish. Why not propose what would happen if the child sprouted 5 heads and wings
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Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)Well then clearly you have no idea what you're talking about, just admit you're out of your depth and you'd be stumped if a child did not respond the way you would want them to when you gave them a smack for misbehaving. Not all children are scared of their parents or care if they get a smack for misbehaving, otherwise parents who do hit their kids wouldn't have to do it repeatedly to get the message across.(Original post by Jimbo1234)

I have never known or heard of such rubbish. Why not propose what would happen if the child sprouted 5 heads and wings
Nice to see you're using your giggling as your defence mechanism again when you have nothing of value to say. I think we're done here.Last edited by SpicyStrawberry; 18-06-2012 at 14:38. -
Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)I'm out of my depth because I would not know what to do in an absurd situation. Because that is sound logic(Original post by SpicyStrawberry)
Well then clearly you have no idea what you're talking about, just admit you're out of your depth and you'd be stumped if a child did not respond the way you would want them to when you gave them a smack for misbehaving. Not all children are scared of their parents or care if they get a smack for misbehaving, otherwise parents who do hit their kids wouldn't have to do it repeatedly to get the message across.
Nice to see you're using your giggling as your defence mechanism again when you have nothing of value to say. I think we're done here.
I could easily argue (and this would be more likely) what would you do if the child stormed off into their room and trashed it?
Oh, and there is a reason why I was smacked only three times - because it works and you remember it for a very long time
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Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)Aww, eye rolls, aren't you precious?(Original post by Jimbo1234)
I'm out of my depth because I would not know what to do in an absurd situation. Because that is sound logic
I could easily argue (and this would be more likely) what would you do if the child stormed off into their room and trashed it?
Oh, and there is a reason why I was smacked only three times - because it works and you remember it for a very long time
If the child stormed into their room and trashed it, I'd make them tidy it up. Not a difficult question really...
This parenting discussion has gone on long enough now, it's evident you have no clue what you're talking about because you seem to think that kids will magically behave for the rest of their time living with you if you give them a smack. It's actually more likely nowadays that they will threaten to call Childline/the police and you'll land yourself in hot water. I'd rather avoid that to be honest because I've got better parenting skills than resorting to violence just to get someone to listen to me. -
Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)So the kid turns around and tells you to **** off.(Original post by SpicyStrawberry)
Aww, eye rolls, aren't you precious?
If the child stormed into their room and trashed it, I'd make them tidy it up. Not a difficult question really...
Then what?
Ad hominem argument.This parenting discussion has gone on long enough now, it's evident you have no clue what you're talking about because you seem to think that kids will magically behave for the rest of their time living with you if you give them a smack. It's actually more likely nowadays that they will threaten to call Childline/the police and you'll land yourself in hot water. I'd rather avoid that to be honest.
As for childline, this demonstrates how stupid and liberal our country has become. There is a difference between abuse and discipline but people clealry are to afraid to state this.
NB. PM me as this is getting off topic. -
Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)It's a perfectly relevant argument, you're just skirting the issue. I've been told to **** off before when I've sent a child I'm babysitting to their room, I just sat outside the door so they couldn't leave the room and waited for them to calm down, but for swearing at me I took their phone off them so they couldn't sit on Facebook or whatever it is they do. They soon learnt that bad language means things are taken away from you, and I won't be a pushover. No violence was needed and they've been well behaved with me since, because they hated not having the freedom to go out with their friends.(Original post by Jimbo1234)
So the kid turns around and tells you to **** off.
Then what?
Ad hominem argument.
As for childline, this demonstrates how stupid and liberal our country has become. There is a difference between abuse and discipline but people clealry are to afraid to state this.
NB. PM me as this is getting off topic. -
Re: My male flat mate tries to hit me (female)friends don't hit you(Original post by Girlproblems)
is that not a bit harsh? he is my friends.