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My brother is 30 years old, still lives at home, unemployed, with no motivation!!

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    So my brother is 30 years old, still lives at home, he's unemployed, and no motivation to find work.

    He just has no motivation to do anything. I can't see him doing anything with his life at this point. He has a degree in bio-chemical science (I think it's called), but he tried looking for work when he was younger, but was unfortunate. He says he's looking for work, but he hasn't been for a single interview. And he just doesn't leave the house at all! He will sit in his room reading, coming out for food, then he will go on the computer for a little while, then watch t.v. then go back to his room. And if we have guests or family around, he will hide away in his bedroom and not come downstairs to say hello.

    What advice can you give? I think my mum is losing her patience with him, and I'm getting frustrated because I seem to be the only 1 providing financial assistance to my parents. And my other brother (who's 27) has been unemployed, but he's found work now so he's helping out a little with bills too.

    your opinions on my eldest brother? I am 23, but my eldest bro is 30 and should be setting an example, but instead I'm the one having to help out the family.
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    I have no truck for people who hate on others,
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So my brother is 30 years old, still lives at home, he's unemployed, and no motivation to find work.

    He just has no motivation to do anything. I can't see him doing anything with his life at this point. He has a degree in bio-chemical science (I think it's called), but he tried looking for work when he was younger, but was unfortunate. He says he's looking for work, but he hasn't been for a single interview. And he just doesn't leave the house at all! He will sit in his room reading, coming out for food, then he will go on the computer for a little while, then watch t.v. then go back to his room. And if we have guests or family around, he will hide away in his bedroom and not come downstairs to say hello.

    What advice can you give? I think my mum is losing her patience with him, and I'm getting frustrated because I seem to be the only 1 providing financial assistance to my parents. And my other brother (who's 27) has been unemployed, but he's found work now so he's helping out a little with bills too.

    your opinions on my eldest brother? I am 23, but my eldest bro is 30 and should be setting an example, but instead I'm the one having to help out the family.
    Bio-medical sciences? Must be a pretty intelligent guy, does he not have any experience in anything?
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    (Original post by hiding12)
    Bio-medical sciences? Must be a pretty intelligent guy, does he not have any experience in anything?
    Yeah, he did that degree about 10 years ago. He is intelligent, but he's not motivated to find work or even leave the house. He went to USA when he was younger, after he got the degree, to look for work. He was unsuccessful with that, and employers were telling him that he was over qualified, but that can't be the case now. Well he hasn't had a job for a good couple years, maybe more.
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    Do you still live with your parents? If yes, ignore my following question. If no, why are you giving your family money?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So my brother is 30 years old, still lives at home, he's unemployed, and no motivation to find work.

    He just has no motivation to do anything. I can't see him doing anything with his life at this point. He has a degree in bio-chemical science (I think it's called), but he tried looking for work when he was younger, but was unfortunate. He says he's looking for work, but he hasn't been for a single interview. And he just doesn't leave the house at all! He will sit in his room reading, coming out for food, then he will go on the computer for a little while, then watch t.v. then go back to his room. And if we have guests or family around, he will hide away in his bedroom and not come downstairs to say hello.

    What advice can you give? I think my mum is losing her patience with him, and I'm getting frustrated because I seem to be the only 1 providing financial assistance to my parents. And my other brother (who's 27) has been unemployed, but he's found work now so he's helping out a little with bills too.

    your opinions on my eldest brother? I am 23, but my eldest bro is 30 and should be setting an example, but instead I'm the one having to help out the family.
    That sounds like social anxiety to me if I'm being honest.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    your opinions on my eldest brother?
    Like the above contributor suggests, maybe he's got a problem with social anxiety. Or maybe depression or something.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am 23, but my eldest bro is 30 and should be setting an example, but instead I'm the one having to help out the family.

    That's nonsense. You are an adult and shouldn't be looking to others to set an example for you; don't put that on your brother as it's nothing to do with him, that's just your thing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So my brother is 30 years old, still lives at home, he's unemployed, and no motivation to find work.

    He just has no motivation to do anything. I can't see him doing anything with his life at this point. He has a degree in bio-chemical science (I think it's called), but he tried looking for work when he was younger, but was unfortunate. He says he's looking for work, but he hasn't been for a single interview. And he just doesn't leave the house at all! He will sit in his room reading, coming out for food, then he will go on the computer for a little while, then watch t.v. then go back to his room. And if we have guests or family around, he will hide away in his bedroom and not come downstairs to say hello.

    What advice can you give? I think my mum is losing her patience with him, and I'm getting frustrated because I seem to be the only 1 providing financial assistance to my parents. And my other brother (who's 27) has been unemployed, but he's found work now so he's helping out a little with bills too.

    your opinions on my eldest brother? I am 23, but my eldest bro is 30 and should be setting an example, but instead I'm the one having to help out the family.
    Not even kidding, I'm in the EXACT same situation. I'm 23, my brothers 25 and has no degree or any qualifications, he sits in his room all day on the pc with the curtains shut and never leaves the house. My mum works at tesco (so doesnt earn that much) and is having to pay off his (many) debts while he sits and does nothing, it really infuriates me. Have you found a solution to your problem yet, OP?
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    (Original post by odkfn)
    Not even kidding, I'm in the EXACT same situation. I'm 23, my brothers 25 and has no degree or any qualifications, he sits in his room all day on the pc with the curtains shut and never leaves the house. My mum works at tesco (so doesnt earn that much) and is having to pay off his (many) debts while he sits and does nothing, it really infuriates me. Have you found a solution to your problem yet, OP?
    I'm sure he's having the time of his life wasting his best years in his bedroom while everyone else is out having fun. How dare he. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, he did that degree about 10 years ago. He is intelligent, but he's not motivated to find work or even leave the house. He went to USA when he was younger, after he got the degree, to look for work. He was unsuccessful with that, and employers were telling him that he was over qualified, but that can't be the case now. Well he hasn't had a job for a good couple years, maybe more.
    I dunno, feel the same way at 25 with Economics degree, its a **** job market. Not sure what to suggest, not sure what he's looking for, what he's don etc.
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    Thats what i want to do after i get my degree, live in my parents crib for a few years, just playing games consoles all day and eating junk food, and living off JSA, sounds like fun tbh
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    He is probably depressed
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    (Original post by Classical Liberal)
    He is probably depressed
    Depression can be an effect as well as a cause, he will feel low if he has no structure to his life! Someone told me that in parts of africa depression was almost unheard of, people were too busy looking for their next meal.
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    The gold diggers must have got to him.
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    Does the guy have any health/mental health issues? You could've just described me tbh tho the reason I've ended up in that situation is that I've had M.E. for a decade
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    To be fair to him bio med isn't the best career path in terms for a job, there's very few going but the fact that he hasn't even tried to get one. Maybe you should mention it to your mum and she should basically tell him to get off his back side! He should deffinately be paying rent or something at the age of 30?!
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    (Original post by almosttrue)
    Depression can be an effect as well as a cause, he will feel low if he has no structure to his life! Someone told me that in parts of africa depression was almost unheard of, people were too busy looking for their next meal.
    or maybe that those africans who were depressed died of starvation
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    He's obviously mentally ill.
    #2

    Sounds like he could be a hikikomori
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    Hate how everyone is trying to assign an illness to him from a pretty brief description, that really gets on my nerves.

    OP, you're gonna have to sit him down (ideally with the rest of your family) and make him listen to your concerns. He's probably heard it a million times but make him listen this time.

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