(Original post by CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK)
That sound sums up how I am currently feeling. For a while I've refrained from making this thread but have thought about it extensively. I was just wondering whether anyone else experienced what I like to call 'melancholy blues' - periods of time, usually only lasting a few hours, when I just feel completely and utterly bummed out. I'm sorry if this thread is long winded but I'd be grateful if anyone who perhaps has felt the same way would contribute.
For example, this last week I've lost out on a relationship with a girl after a couple of great dates just through bad timing and miscommunication. Fine, it's not the first, and it's certainly not going to be the last time that I'll lose out where girls are concerned. Today however, I was with a few mates just watching the football and I'm the life of the party, chatting, laughing and joking away, but I couldn't seem to keep the feeling of melancholy at bay. Within seconds of making a joke, during a lull in conversation or even when my mates left for a toilet/fag break I remind myself of this latest setback and revert back to this state of being really bummed out, just really aimless and lost.
A couple days ago there was a thread about whether money = happiness and I answered that despite being relatively financially secure, I didn't feel totally happy which led me to think about fulfillment. For me, fulfillment seems mainly to be being in a relationship, or just wanting something more. For ages I've wanted to travel, and this is something else I feel, during those large party lulls, the desire to just get away and do or be something more.
Travelling may temporarily fill the void through daily changes of routine and scenery, however I doubt personally it will last. It's as if that for which I long for the most just doesn't seem to and will not happen. I know people say "it's because you're not confident in yourself etc' but mates and people I work with all say they cannot understand why or where I'm going wrong; in their words I'm funny, relatively clever and I don't look like Lord Voldemort. Me and a girl I work with and who I sometimes give lifts to, were having a right laugh earlier and she points out that we get on so well together. So why aren't we? I wanted to and nearly replied.
I don't know, I realise while writing this that it sounds more and more like it should be in the relationship forums rather than the health and the mods are welcome to move it where appropriate, however I suppose my point of issue is more related to personal fulfillment. What is yours?
For me as I've said earlier, it is the urge to be somewhere or something better while feeling lonely in a large crowd. I also suspect I've come across as a bit desperate, and I guess at this stage in my life (23) I'm beginning to get that way.
Anyway thanks to those who've read this and I'd appreciate any advice, input or directions to the nearest shrink