[Bleak Lemming]

Gone are the days where online dating was thought of as something for unattractive people who can't find companionship in the real world!

Following a positive response to this thread by Chumbaniya:

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=2020976

I thought I'd take the liberty to start a 'proper' online dating chat thread. Not designed for hook ups, but to share our aggravations and delights which different online dating website bring to us. Tell us about your online dating experiences!

Chances are it's probably gonna get buried but I figured it's got better chance of surviving here than the relationships forum!

Tell us about your online dating experiences!!

[Miss.V]

I've never done it as it scares me tbh.. It's way too easy to lie behind a screen


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[Bleak Lemming]

Sb

[Miss.V]

(Original post by Bleak Lemming)
Suppose I'll start with one of my nightmare stories.

Firstly let me say in my posts I don't mean to be offensive! Just my personal views on what I'm looking for etc.

About a year ago now I got talking to a girl on Zoosk who was quite attractive, I'd give her a 7/10.. But also well educated, working as a teacher. We had some decent conversations and seemed to hit it off. After a few weeks of txting and what not we decided to meet up.

Before meeting up she told me that she had a hearing problem, which I accepted and wasn't bothered by at all. We'd talked about music so I gathered she did have some sense of hearing and wasn't put off by the fact that she might have hearing aids (she had long hair too).

Anyways, when we ended up meeting it turned out she was almost deaf and could pretty much lip read... & sounded like a deaf person speaks. I found it so awkward... Whenever I'm on a date with someone who say isn't very attractive I feel like EVERYONE is looking at me thinking look at what he's ended up with and OH MY GOD it was horrible. And the worst part was that we'd planned to go for a proper meal...

At the end of the date I ended up getting really drunk, all in all I had a laugh but I couldn't get past the fact that she was deaf which I know is shallow of me but that's just the way I felt at the end of the day. I felt bad too in a sense that I couldn't just not go out with her again because we had a pretty good time, so I agreed to a second date....... This time at the cinema so that I could just sit and not have to be awkward. I can't remember what we went to go and see but she was bopping away to the music when it came on and held my hand and everything....... Oh my god so awkward.

In the end I can't remember what I done - nothing nasty. But I got a text afterwards saying how she felt that I wasn't as into things as she was, so I ended up playing along with that and let if fizz out.

Awkward story.

Each to their own lol


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[Chumbaniya]

(Original post by Miss.V)
I've never done it as it scares me tbh.. It's way too easy to lie behind a screen

And not face to face? I know this is an opinion that many people have, but it doesn't hold up to much scrutiny, I feel. Unless you're going to meet up with a person in a place miles from anywhere with no people nearby, there's no more danger to meeting a person you met online than there is to turning up for a date with a person who asked you out in a coffee shop - if a person has tried to lie about things which they couldn't lie about in real life (so just aspects of appearance) then you'll find out immediately and it's no problem; you can just walk away.

If a person is capable of lying online but not in person you'll find them out easily once you've met them. By contrast, a confident liar will be able to lie to you face to face from the second you meet them with much less chance of being found out, so their lies can be much more damaging to you.

[Miss.V]

(Original post by Chumbaniya)
And not face to face? I know this is an opinion that many people have, but it doesn't hold up to much scrutiny, I feel. Unless you're going to meet up with a person in a place miles from anywhere with no people nearby, there's no more danger to meeting a person you met online than there is to turning up for a date with a person who asked you out in a coffee shop - if a person has tried to lie about things which they couldn't lie about in real life (so just aspects of appearance) then you'll find out immediately and it's no problem; you can just walk away.

If a person is capable of lying online but not in person you'll find them out easily once you've met them. By contrast, a confident liar will be able to lie to you face to face from the second you meet them with much less chance of being found out, so their lies can be much more damaging to you.

Well I am a very bad liar. I always laugh or pull a face like vaginia in raising hope.




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[Bleak Lemming]

(Original post by Miss.V)
I've never done it as it scares me tbh.. It's way too easy to lie behind a screen


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Obviously everything gets checked out before you meet up, you can tell if someone isn't who they say they are. Never happened to me but kinda always end up meeting in a public place & get them on facebook before hand.

Saying this I have met a couple of people who haven't looked quite like their photos. One girl had a really big nose and I'm sure she photoshopped all her pics to thin it out.

[Miss.V]

(Original post by Bleak Lemming)
Obviously everything gets checked out before you meet up, you can tell if someone isn't who they say they are. Never happened to me but kinda always end up meeting in a public place & get them on facebook before hand.

Saying this I have met a couple of people who haven't looked quite like their photos. One girl had a really big nose and I'm sure she photoshopped all her pics to thin it out.

How many online dates have you had?


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[Bleak Lemming]

(Original post by Miss.V)
How many online dates have you had?


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Erm I don't really count but I've been doing it for a few years.. As far back as 'Myspace' where I'd add randoms to get my friend count up and end up having a bit crack on with some decent people and maybe meeting up with them. I'm 23 now and myspace was a canny few years ago so yea..

Had a fair few single dates where we haven't clicked, and had some which have turned into 6-12 month relationships.. Nothing lasting as yet but I'll trundle on!

[Miss.V]

(Original post by Bleak Lemming)
Erm I don't really count but I've been doing it for a few years.. As far back as 'Myspace' where I'd add randoms to get my friend count up and end up having a bit crack on with some decent people and maybe meeting up with them. I'm 23 now and myspace was a canny few years ago so yea..

Had a fair few single dates where we haven't clicked, and had some which have turned into 6-12 month relationships.. Nothing lasting as yet but I'll trundle on!

Ah right.

Why do you prefer it?


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[Bleak Lemming]

(Original post by Miss.V)
Ah right.

Why do you prefer it?


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I don't prefer it but needs must. It's easier to find what you want imo. Also I work full time and I'm studying a 3 year degree over 4 years (apparently part time..) as well as doing an undergrad photography course & running a household [albeit consisting of just myself] and so I don't have time to go missioning out into town 'on the pull' so to speak to find that the majority of people going out on weekdays in Newcastle are unemployed :P

[Miss.V]

(Original post by Bleak Lemming)
I don't prefer it but needs must. It's easier to find what you want imo. Also I work full time and I'm studying a 3 year degree over 4 years (apparently part time..) as well as doing an undergrad photography course & running a household [albeit consisting of just myself] and so I don't have time to go missioning out into town 'on the pull' so to speak to find that the majority of people going out on weekdays in Newcastle are unemployed :P

Makes sense!

I would have never guessed with 'canny' and 'crack' lol which is actually 'Craic'


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[Bleak Lemming]

(Original post by Miss.V)
Makes sense!

I would have never guessed with 'canny' and 'crack' lol which is actually 'Craic'


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Craic originates from Ireland, it's 'crack' where I come from :P

[Miss.V]

(Original post by Bleak Lemming)
Craic originates from Ireland, it's 'crack' where I come from :P

Smartarse


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[gemmam]

I used to use online dating, but I'm starting to think if I should try again as I have a pretty rubbish social life and I've been single for ages. I think I'm a bit scared to try it again tbh. One date I had was the most horrfic date ever. We arranged to meet in a pub during the day, he turns up wearing a tracksuit and unshaven (I know it was a day time but you think he could've made some effort), sat there the entire time texting someone and then made a racist remark about another customer in the pub, so I made my excuses and left. Later that day he texted me asking if I wanted to be friends with benefits with him along with a picture of his bits. Needless to say I didn't take him up on the offer! Another date I went on I had a really nice time and we arranged to go on a second. The guy seemed keen, overly keen in hindsight, saying he wanted to take me to meet his family (after one date ) but when he discovered that, at the time, I'd only slept with one person he became disinterested and we ended up not going on the 2nd date. I once seen him on the relationship forum on here trying to pick up a girl who had relationship problems using lines he used on me and sections copied and pasted from his okcupid profile (I knew it was him as he gave a link to his facebook page).

[Staceycake]

(Original post by Miss.V)
I've never done it as it scares me tbh.. It's way too easy to lie behind a screen


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It is really easy, you're right, but if you get to know the person for weeks/months before meeting up and maybe you get the chance to webcam with them? That way you'll see it's the real him and not some old creepy man. Also, add them on Facebook or something, you'll be able to tell if it's real and they are the genuine person or if it's some fake profile.

[Bleak Lemming]

(Original post by gemmam)
he turns up wearing a tracksuit and unshaven (I know it was a day time but you think he could've made some effort), sat there the entire time texting someone and then made a racist remark about another customer in the pub, so I made my excuses and left. Later that day he texted me asking if I wanted to be friends with benefits with him along with a picture of his bits.

Sounds like an absolute chav!

[gemmam]

(Original post by Bleak Lemming)
Sounds like an absolute chav!

He was, funny thing is he didn't come across as one on his profile or when I was texting him.

[Chumbaniya]

(Original post by gemmam)
I used to use online dating, but I'm starting to think if I should try again as I have a pretty rubbish social life and I've been single for ages. I think I'm a bit scared to try it again tbh. One date I had was the most horrfic date ever. We arranged to meet in a pub during the day, he turns up wearing a tracksuit and unshaven (I know it was a day time but you think he could've made some effort), sat there the entire time texting someone and then made a racist remark about another customer in the pub, so I made my excuses and left. Later that day he texted me asking if I wanted to be friends with benefits with him along with a picture of his bits. Needless to say I didn't take him up on the offer! Another date I went on I had a really nice time and we arranged to go on a second. The guy seemed keen, overly keen in hindsight, saying he wanted to take me to meet his family (after one date ) but when he discovered that, at the time, I'd only slept with one person he became disinterested and we ended up not going on the 2nd date. I once seen him on the relationship forum on here trying to pick up a girl who had relationship problems using lines he used on me and sections copied and pasted from his okcupid profile (I knew it was him as he gave a link to his facebook page).

On the plus side, you got a pretty good anecdote out of it.

[gemmam]

(Original post by Chumbaniya)
On the plus side, you got a pretty good anecdote out of it.

I guess thats a bonus maybe I should go back to online dating, even if I don't end up meeting the love of my life it'll give me some stories to tell in the pub haha. I'm going to stay away from pof though!