[Chumbaniya]

(Original post by TheProcrastinator2)
Maybe - but the catch with falling for a woman over TSR is when you get to exchanging pictures, she could turn out to be a right munter.

A lot of people have profile pictures. I've had one pretty much the whole time I've been a member, and as far as I remember the girls I've met had profile pictures too.

(Original post by Bleak Lemming)
So you're telling me that if I want to find someone I have to not look, and if I do look then I wont find anyone

I'm saying there are two different approaches and one of the them suits me better (unsurprisingly the corresponding approach to my usual style in real life is also my preferred style online). I can't maintain that much of an interest in actively looking for partners. If I'm interested in someone, I'm up-front about it, but I don't like making myself go out and find people I'm interested in. I find that, for me, more satisfying connections are made if I do things that interest me and meet new people (potential partners or not) as a result of that.

I think for that reason I'm unlikely to actively use online dating again (although I'll probably keep my OkCupid account because I'm talking to a couple of women who are interesting but not really potential partners).

[Chumbaniya]

(Original post by Profesh)
A one-night stand, a ****-buddy, two stalkers, two trysts, several lovelorn 'groupies', numerous desultory flirtations and one actual, meaningful long-term relationship later, I find I can't help but agree; albeit with much the same caveat.

I've never had a TSR stalker (well, not in the romantic sense. I had someone who developed rather a strange obsession back in the day). I'm quite envious.

[DWC]

(Original post by Chumbaniya)
No. After a couple of messages back and forth I asked if she wanted to go for a drink (I don't really see much point in dragging out online conversation when it wouldn't be too exciting) and then she didn't get back to me. I understand this approaching someone and then blanking them inexplicably is pretty standard for online dating.

Agreed! 2 no replies after proposing a drink?? I What exactly is the protocol for this anyway?

I talked to a girl yesterday for a couple hours, exchanged fb and arranged a coffee for Wednesday! Don't think she is a fifty but seems intelligent, nice and "normal" so I'm happy to try.

I don't get why girls are put off when you propose a drink? It's not as if I mean a can of special brew in the woods at 3am!






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[FelineCostumier]

I'm going to join in this thread, being something of an online dating veteran. Been doing it on and off for years, more off than on admittedly, I lack the commitment to really make a massive amount of effort and am actually not terribly bothered about being single the majority of the time!

However, the last couple of weeks I've been actively using a couple sites again, just to see what will happen as I don't meet too many men my age within my social scene. Over eager, very sweet, very drunk 18 year olds, yes, men closer to my age who I'm actually attracted to, not so much!

Anyway, what prompted me here, is a message I have just received from a man complimenting me on my fancy dress costume. Erm, that's what I look like all the frigging time, the clue would be all my pictures being quite similar! (I'm a vintage/rockabilly sort).

Sadly, my target audience doesn't seem to be those I am attracted to for the most part but I live in hope.

[Chumbaniya]

Getting a message from an attractive girl about 90s PC gaming = winning.

[`R92]

(Original post by Chumbaniya)
Getting a message from an attractive girl about 90s PC gaming = winning.

Is she local? Like i find nice girls all the time they're just not where i want them to be

[gemmam]

(Original post by `R92)
Is she local? Like i find nice girls all the time they're just not where i want them to be

Ha same here except with guys!

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[Mrx123]

(Original post by Multitalented me)
Of what? Pervy women

really??? im not really familiar wiv the online dating world???

[Bleak Lemming]

o.O bagged a date with a nice girl on Tuesday...

[Pwhiskers]

Haven't been on this thread or okcupid for some time because I've been on holiday, but everyone seems to have had lots of luck while I've been away!

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[gemmam]

(Original post by Pwhiskers)
Haven't been on this thread or okcupid for some time because I've been on holiday, but everyone seems to have had lots of luck while I've been away!

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Tell me about it. I've given up on the idea of finding a date on there and just been going on to answer some random questions when I've been bored. Even after answering a load some d*ck who I know is still my highest match, which one of my mates has been skitting at me for

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[Chumbaniya]

(Original post by `R92)
Is she local? Like i find nice girls all the time they're just not where i want them to be

Fairly local, yes - and when she's back at university she's actually about 25 minutes from where I'll be going too.

We've arranged a date on Monday - and this time she doesn't seem crazy and angry like the last woman who was interested (and then not interested) in meeting up.

[`R92]

(Original post by Chumbaniya)
Fairly local, yes - and when she's back at university she's actually about 25 minutes from where I'll be going too.

We've arranged a date on Monday - and this time she doesn't seem crazy and angry like the last woman who was interested (and then not interested) in meeting up.

Ah nice man, gl.

[gemmam]

I just got a message which wasn't along the lines of "nice tits sexy" from someone that lives localish, whose in my age range and seems normal

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[Chumbaniya]

(Original post by gemmam)
I just got a message which wasn't along the lines of "nice tits sexy" from someone that lives localish, whose in my age range and seems normal

That's a shame - you don't want to waste your time with a man who doesn't appreciate your tits.

[TheProcrastinator2]

(Original post by Chumbaniya)
A lot of people have profile pictures. I've had one pretty much the whole time I've been a member, and as far as I remember the girls I've met had profile pictures too.

Fair point. Re the other thing you were saying, while the "friends first" thing can work sometimes, I see no problem with making a move on someone you fancy straight away. If you immediately fancy someone, why lie to yourself about it? Girls are often flattered when a guy makes a move on them, especially if he is tall and attractive and it's in a way that makes him stand out above the crowd. If there's a guy hanging around them loads who blatantly fancies them but does nothing about it, I'd imagine that could seem kinda creepy.

I can see it from your perspective too, though - the friends-first way is always good provided the attraction develops over the time period of the friendship.

[Pwhiskers]

(Original post by TheProcrastinator2)
Fair point. Re the other thing you were saying, while the "friends first" thing can work sometimes, I see no problem with making a move on someone you fancy straight away. If you immediately fancy someone, why lie to yourself about it? Girls are often flattered when a guy makes a move on them, especially if he is tall and attractive and it's in a way that makes him stand out above the crowd. If there's a guy hanging around them loads who blatantly fancies them but does nothing about it, I'd imagine that could seem kinda creepy.

I can see it from your perspective too, though - the friends-first way is always good provided the attraction develops over the time period of the friendship.

This is probably my issue - I'm so used to the friends first approach that I find it a bit shallow to go straight into a romantic relationship... how can you possibly know that you're compatible if you don't know anything about each other? At least if I'm friends with someone first I know that we're not going to have the pressure of finding things in common (conversatIon Is almost forced?) and then the awkward moment when you realise it's not going to work.

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[Chumbaniya]

(Original post by TheProcrastinator2)
Fair point. Re the other thing you were saying, while the "friends first" thing can work sometimes, I see no problem with making a move on someone you fancy straight away. If you immediately fancy someone, why lie to yourself about it? Girls are often flattered when a guy makes a move on them, especially if he is tall and attractive and it's in a way that makes him stand out above the crowd. If there's a guy hanging around them loads who blatantly fancies them but does nothing about it, I'd imagine that could seem kinda creepy.

I can see it from your perspective too, though - the friends-first way is always good provided the attraction develops over the time period of the friendship.

I don't see that much of a distinction. I don't really understand how to 'properly' flirt with or approach someone, but at the same time I seem to be able to make it clear that I'm interested in someone without overstepping the bounds of friendship. I've never felt like it was 'friends first' with any of the women I met through TSR, and I never felt like I was pretending to be just friends when I wanted more.

[Profesh]

So, to the field report: I was on fine comedic form, but probably talked too much; she was pleasantly engaging, but somewhat less attractive than anticipated. Still, no regrets – I didn't sell myself short, and if all else fails I've an open invitation for 'coffee' awaiting my attention (just as soon as I can manage to regain my sobriety).

Gosh, how uncharacteristically sociable of me.

[Pwhiskers]

(Original post by Profesh)
So, to the field report: I was on fine comedic form, but probably talked too much; she was pleasantly engaging, but somewhat less attractive than anticipated. Still, no regrets – I didn't sell myself short, and if all else fails I've an open invitation for 'coffee' awaiting my attention (just as soon as I can manage to regain my sobriety).

Gosh, how uncharacteristically sociable of me.

Good to hear your date went well