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How to let go when there's not much for you?

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    • Thread Starter

    So I was with my ex for about a year a half, and totally head over heels in love - first relationship and all of that. The breakup was mutual as I was going travelling and uni etc, but yeah basically it hit me pretty hard. We didn't speak while I was travelling, to give us some space, but now I'm back in my home town for a couple of months before I head off to Uni in the autumn.

    The time apart has allowed me to reflect and realise that I deserve more, and has let me see what I was blind to, or saw but refused to acknowledge during the relationship. My big thing was that he constantly took me for granted, and never returned any effort. So I'm slowly getting there because I know I need someone who will give that back to me. However we've been back in contact a little because we need to give stuff back and have been catching up. The same cycle is continuing with his behaviour and I know I've made the right decision and don't want him back, even though I still love him deeply.

    Anyway, I know it's summer, but not a lot of my friends are around during these few months so I'm struggling for things to keep me distracted/busy The only thing I have going on is part time work, and all the people I work with are all much older than me, so it's hard to be social outside of work with them. I guess I just wanted some ideas of how to help myself move on when I've not got much going on in my life for the next few months?

    Thank you!
  1. Offline

    Distance and time. Literally the only way. You will think about him for weeks/months to come, but as time goes on you will forget. I promise!
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    I was in your position in December last year my ex just dumped me, all my friends were at uni and I found it impossible to move on becuase I had nothing to keep my occupied, i felt like everybody else was moving on with their lives but me. I kept clinging on to stuff i had with him as I was unhappy and alone and when i was with him i wasnt. I was in love with the idea of him not actually him.

    Time is the only healer, its so hard but you MUST cut contact, my ex texted me alll this time i was feeling low and i just couldnt get over him at all and hen i found out he had a new girlfriend it killed me. I started working a hell of alot more hours, I began gonig to the gym every night after work, doing aerboics, yoga, sports and met people through that, i made a massive effort to be more outgoing and social i became friends with people at work who were in their mid 20s but started being invited to nights out and the pub and so forth. If your unhappy in your job change it for something more social like a bar/pub job there be so many people your own age and the job will be a good laugh.

    The prospect of uni also kept me positive i am going this septmeber and when i felt **** and saw stuff about my ex i thought im going to meet so many new people at ni he will be a distant memory.

    I ended up meeting my current boyfriend on one of these nights out and now im friends with his friends and their girlfriends its like i have a whole new life. I was dreading my ex coming home this summer as i knew id have to see him and see him with girls and i was worried i wouud want him back, hes been hoome for ages now and i couldnt care less for the first time since septmeber I can actually say im fully over him

    Time is the healer, but surrond yourslef with things such as a new sport, a new job, make new friend, revamp your image and yourself and you will get over him
  3. Offline

    Definitely distance, but for me I just decided to say 'yes' to any social occasion I was invited to so that I'd meet as many new people as possible. It was when I'd said yes to a house party (invited at 11pm at night- only knew the host- but went on my own anyway) that I met my (now) boyfriend, so it was definitely worth it. You just need to get out more, take some risks and force yourself to be sociable even at those times when perhaps you'd rather hide away at home!


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Updated: June 12, 2012
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