[Anonymous]

Anon because I know people on here.

Right so I'm feeling a bit down lately. I'm currently doing my a levels and recently I've been beginning to feel as if I don't really fit in with friends classmates anymore. I like a good laugh and I'm a bit weird(as opposed to the 'normals' at my school ) if you like (although not in a bad way) but I feel as if I have to repress my real personality in order to fit in with people at school, which results in me behaving awkwardly or in a forced manner. I suppose a sort of persona has been created and it feels hard for me to break out of it and become my normal wittier(ha) self.

I'm quite a shy (read awkward) person naturally, but when I come out of my shell I'm a lot better. I used to be bullied a bit before and I still see these people around. I don't know whether it's just me but even though I don't speak to these people I feel as if these people bitch about me to some of my 'newer' classmates, so then I can't really get to know these 'newer' classmates as they start to sort of look down on me (even though they appeared to be nice when I first met them) if you know what I mean

I feel like most of the people around me are shallow dickheads - anything less than loud, vacuous, cool or popular isn't really accepted, most certainly not quiet intellectual people. I don't really know what to do really. I'm hoping I'll find better friends at uni who are more accepting. Although I don't know if the problem lies with me also?

Has anybody else had experiences like this? What should I do? Thanks.

[internetguru]

So what is so weird about your personality that you have to hide in shame?

[Anonymous]

(Original post by internetguru)
So what is so weird about your personality that you have to hide in shame?

It's not really weird per se. A better word would be quirky. And I don't really hide in shame - I'm inwardly very confident of my self, but it's just that I find it difficult to present my usual 'quirky' self to friend/people who haven't really seen that side of me. I get the feeling that so called 'friends' are bit jealous tbh, and I know that sounds as if i'm arrogant or deluded, but that's the sort of vibes i've been getting lately.

I behave much very naturally around my extended family for example as they HAVE seen me as my normal self. I don't know if that made any sense at all lol but you get the gist.

[Alexandra's Box]

Please don't worry - quiet intellectual people ARE cool.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Alexandra's Box)
Please don't worry - quiet intellectual people ARE cool.

Haha thanks I suppose I might just have to put up with it until I start afresh at uni. It's just that it's frustrating that some people our age are so easily influenced by others instead of forming their OWN opinion on a person, and that they can't see the REAL person inside.

[Alexandra's Box]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Haha thanks I suppose I might just have to put up with it until I start afresh at uni. It's just that it's frustrating that some people our age are so easily influenced by others instead of forming their OWN opinion on a person, and that they can't see the REAL person inside.

Yeah I know - many 'youths' () are pretty shallow and self-centered. You'll find like-minded people soon - and at least you have a family you can be yourself with!

[ForgettingWhatsername]

I know this is a cliché and probably not helpful to you in any way right now, but sooner or later you'll find people who will accept you for who are you are. I'm the same in that I don't feel I can be myself with a lot of people - I think I'm only ever really really myself with a couple of friends who I've known for years, and with my sis who is my best friend.

However, some of the people who used to bully me (bully is a strong word perhaps, but they certainly didn't accept me for who I was) when I was still in school (I'm in my 3rd year at uni now) have become good friends now. They're sorry for how they treated me in the past, and now they see where I'm coming from as a person and they respect that, and I respect them. When you're in school, a lot of people are still quite immature and still have a lot of growing up to do. Maybe in one or two years' time they'll realise that people who are not the same as them can be great persons who are worth the effort of getting to know them.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Alexandra's Box)
Yeah I know - many 'youths' () are pretty shallow and self-centered. You'll find like-minded people soon - and at least you have a family you can be yourself with!

Yeah your right - hopefully i'll find them sooner rather than later

[internetguru]

(Original post by Anonymous)
It's not really weird per se. A better word would be quirky. And I don't really hide in shame - I'm inwardly very confident of my self, but it's just that I find it difficult to present my usual 'quirky' self to friend/people who haven't really seen that side of me. I get the feeling that so called 'friends' are bit jealous tbh, and I know that sounds as if i'm arrogant or deluded, but that's the sort of vibes i've been getting lately.

I behave much very naturally around my extended family for example as they HAVE seen me as my normal self. I don't know if that made any sense at all lol but you get the gist.

I'm often told i'm weird but then the same people say I am the funniest person ever. The trick is to just act like you have a lot of confidence and arrogance and people will begin to respect you. People naturally will walk over timid weaker minded people whilst the arrogant alpha personalities dominate.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by ForgettingWhatsername)
I know this is a cliché and probably not helpful to you in any way right now, but sooner or later you'll find people who will accept you for who are you are. I'm the same in that I don't feel I can be myself with a lot of people - I think I'm only ever really really myself with a couple of friends who I've known for years, and with my sis who is my best friend.

However, some of the people who used to bully me (bully is a strong word perhaps, but they certainly didn't accept me for who I was) when I was still in school (I'm in my 3rd year at uni now) have become good friends now. They're sorry for how they treated me in the past, and now they see where I'm coming from as a person and they respect that, and I respect them. When you're in school, a lot of people are still quite immature and still have a lot of growing up to do. Maybe in one or two years' time they'll realise that people who are not the same as them can be great persons who are worth the effort of getting to know them.

Thanks for your reply That's quite reassuring to hear and I agree a lot of people do have a lot of growing up to do.

[don_lad_]

confident people are popular people. you sound like you know you're a decent/fun person so just go with it and don't be shy.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by internetguru)
I'm often told i'm weird but then the same people say I am the funniest person ever. The trick is to just act like you have a lot of confidence and arrogance and people will begin to respect you. People naturally will walk over timid weaker minded people whilst the arrogant alpha personalities dominate.

But surely people won't want to be around someone that's too full of themselves. And I'm female so I don't know if the same rule (i.e. of alpha personalities) would still apply?

That sounds like a good idea tbh (although I don't want to go OTT with the arrogance :P lol)

[Anonymous]

(Original post by don_lad_)
confident people are popular people. you sound like you know you're a decent/fun person so just go with it and don't be shy.

That's true, although you always get the old bullies (who have an unjustified personal vendetta against you) trying to subtly break your confidence, whilst trying to impose their dominance over you and putting you down (gosh I sound cynical). I guess I should try to overcome that initial shyness.

[outOfFayz]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Anon because I know people on here.

Right so I'm feeling a bit down lately. I'm currently doing my a levels and recently I've been beginning to feel as if I don't really fit in with friends classmates anymore. I like a good laugh and I'm a bit weird(as opposed to the 'normals' at my school ) if you like (although not in a bad way) but I feel as if I have to repress my real personality in order to fit in with people at school, which results in me behaving awkwardly or in a forced manner. I suppose a sort of persona has been created and it feels hard for me to break out of it and become my normal wittier(ha) self.

I'm quite a shy (read awkward) person naturally, but when I come out of my shell I'm a lot better. I used to be bullied a bit before and I still see these people around. I don't know whether it's just me but even though I don't speak to these people I feel as if these people bitch about me to some of my 'newer' classmates, so then I can't really get to know these 'newer' classmates as they start to sort of look down on me (even though they appeared to be nice when I first met them) if you know what I mean

I feel like most of the people around me are shallow dickheads - anything less than loud, vacuous, cool or popular isn't really accepted, most certainly not quiet intellectual people. I don't really know what to do really. I'm hoping I'll find better friends at uni who are more accepting. Although I don't know if the problem lies with me also?

Has anybody else had experiences like this? What should I do? Thanks.

Get buff.

[Anonymous]

going to be anon too cos it's fun, but basically i kind of understand how you feel and i doubt i'll be much help but just do what makes you happy, i know it's easier said than done but you really will find people that like you for you, i've been to so many different schools (moved alot!) and my current school has been the most difficult to settle in mostly because like you said they're all 'dickheads', people that think they're cool cos they go to parties, smoke weed, drink, are 'popular' blah blah blah, and there were barely any people who could think for themselves, always following the crowd and trying not to stick out like a sore thumb, i found it difficult to fit in for THREE YEARS, the first year i had no proper friends and spent most of it in the library but at least i was happy to not be sucked in with these annoying people, the next two years i had some friends but i wasn't really close with them and there was always a bit of weird tension like we knew the smallest thing would break our so called friendship, whereas i made my closest friends in my previous school, the kind of friends i felt comfortable calling my best friends (we still talk and meet up now and then but sadly we're not so close anymore, still miss the school) anyway sixth form came and i'm so happy cos i've met new people who are actually alot like me and understand me and that's better than anything, anyway my point is (lol got off topic with my anecdote -.-) you should ignore these pricks who think they're awesome, you're better off being original and having a mind of your own, they really are probably jealous, so keep giving them something to be jealous of. and what i do is show my most fun nice side (when i'm not being an awkward clumsy wreck) to people that seem nice, i ignore the idiots and don't bother with people that seem like a waste of my time, so talk to the new people and let them form an opinion themselves, you never know if one of them is like your spirit animal! :P look at it this way, at least now you know the kind of people you want to befriend so in uni it will be easier!

omg, i apologise for the essay...

[hannahdlc]

Don't worry, I think a lot of people feel like this sometimes, myself included. There are only a few select people that I feel I can be myself around; about 3 close friends, my parents and my boyfriend. A lot of the other people in my year are, as you say, shallow and vacuous and if you do anything remotely weird in front of them, you get death stares in response.

I think you just need to be a little more willing to let yourself go, you sound far more interesting than the rest of your classmates so if people could get to know you for who you are perhaps you'd find it easier to make friends. Also, uni will be a fresh start from the bitching so you can make a good first impression

[Hobo389]

(Original post by Anonymous)

Has anybody else had experiences like this? What should I do? Thanks.

Very much the same story that it's creepy :/ The only advice that I can give is to continue resolutely, regardless of others on what you want to do. Life has a habit of producing the kind of people that bring the best out of you in a way that you cannot imagine. You will be fine, I am sure, so long as you do what you want to do in life.

[somethingbeautiful]

Don't worry, once you get out of the bubble that is secondary education you get to choose friends rather than be forced to make friends with the limited amount of people that are in your school year.

You'll find that there are a lot of intellectual people at uni and that, actually, people who are intellectual are favored in that environment as opposed to the dickheads. Plus, there are loads of societies where you can meet like minded people. Work, however, is kinda similar to school - you're stuck with a bunch of colleagues - some are dicks, some are nice. Also the type of job you do seems to determine the ratio of dickheads to nice people - you'll figure out quickly which jobs to avoid as you get older though.
But luckily even if you work with 90% idiots, as an adult, you have other avenues to find friends - plus it's likely that you'll have a handful of like minded friends that you met in college/uni.

Basically, where ever you go you will encounter idiots but as you get older you'll have more opportunities to make friends with people who accept you for you and/or who are like minded.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by outOfFayz)
Get buff.

I'm female so probably not relevant haha

[placeboeffect]

Whilst I'm not entirely in the same boat as you, it's pretty frustrating when you want to talk about a particular topic which is beyond the usual 'guess who slept with who?' and 'I was so drunk on Friday'etc. I mean, yeah, they're fun to talk about and sometime such conversations are inevitable (and I've been in the given situations at times), but to always hear about other people's personal lives can get a bit tedious. So like I said, not the exact same issue, but I get what you mean about having to suppress certain feelings/expressions just to be in with the status quo.

Nothing much to say other than people will mature, and hopefully you'll find that later in life people are les self-orientated and more open to new things.