[Anonymous]

Sorry long post. Half rant half I actually want help!

It was quite a long term relationship that just ended up going down hill, he dumped me over a year ago. It ended a bit messily to be honest with him saying he just wanted a break and to be single.. then the next week I found out he was with someone else.

He is still with her. They keep breaking up every now and again, I don't follow there relationship closely or anything but it seems the only time he wants to talk to me is when they split up or something has happened. I just gave up with trying to be friendly every time he wanted to talk (i didn't bother to try and talk to him) but after he went on at me about how his relationship with the girl he is still dating, when they broke up for a month, about how there relationship had never been proper, how he didn't want a relationship for a bit and stuff then the next week they were back together I thought "Right you a lying prick I want nothing to do with you".

That was about 4 months ago, I didn't talk to him at all after that even when he messaged me a couple of times and we bumped into each other. Last month out of the blue, after they split up again I am presuming, he sent me a long message: how he still loves me but doesn't want to be friends and he hasn't been able to have a proper relationship since ours, how him and her were not great at the best of times, how he felt terrible for some of the lies he told me during our relationship, how he wasn't over me.

I think it's like he can't hack being alone, even though I am over him maybe because I still care about him a bit he knows that and thinks I'm some type of fall back option?

It made me angry and I chose not to reply, then slightly drunk a couple of weeks later I felt like I wanted to clear up a couple of things so I sent him a message back saying that I don't trust him at all but I don't particularly want to be on bad terms but I don't want to be friends (a way longer version of that). He was like fair enough and that was it.

Week or so later he is back with his ex. I kinda just want to say something to him and her. I want to get to the bottom of the lies he has told me because I don't think he ever fully explained himself and I kind of want to tell her what an arse he is. I think though it's not my place to do any of that and I should just bite my tongue but if I was in the situation when my on of boyfriend kept saying stuff like that to his ex I wouldn't be happy about it and I'd want to know. I have a close mutual friend of them, she was the one who told me they were going out in the first place so I could just ask her about it, it couldn't hurt? Or I ignore everything as I have pretty much removed him from my life completely. What to do?

[James']

Those situations are completely pointless to get involved in, as the following scenario will likely unfold:

You: Just thought I'd let you know that your on/off BF keeps talking to me every time you break up and telling me... blah blah.
Her: Why are you getting involved in our relationship, it's got nothing to do with you, you jealous bitch. Why can't you accept that he doesn't want you, he's with me now... so on and so forth.
BF: /Denies everything and confesses love for current on/off GF

Result: You looking like a jealous dick.

Don't go there girrrrrl.

[Aldebaran]

Cut him dead. Don't talk to him at all. Or her. Theirs sounds a messy enough situation as it is - don't get pulled into it. He keeps coming back to talk to you cause he knows he can. So don't let him. He's really messed you around - you need time & distance from him and you're not getting either at the moment!


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[amyshamblesxx]

(Original post by James')
Those situations are completely pointless to get involved in, as the following scenario will likely unfold:

You: Just thought I'd let you know that your on/off BF keeps talking to me every time you break up and telling me... blah blah.
Her: Why are you getting involved in our relationship, it's got nothing to do with you, you jealous bitch. Why can't you accept that he doesn't want you, he's with me now... so on and so forth.
BF: /Denies everything and confesses love for current on/off GF

Result: You looking like a jealous dick.

Don't go there girrrrrl.

This. 100% this.

OP, don't even get involved. Just cut all contact and move on. You'll be much happier in the long run.