[Fires]

(Original post by Morleyyy)
Personally I have been luckily enough to experience both growing up, struggling for money to being financially secure or 'rich' (I hate calling it that), mainly due to parents splitting and having different lifestyles.

In recent years I have been lucky, my dad has worked to become a CCO and excessive vice president of one of the biggest companies in the world. So I have been extremely privileged with what i have got. In recent months my dad bought me a luxury apartment in the centre of london (I do pay rent, but no where near what the market value is) and I do get an allowance, but this was from when my parents got divorced so legally I get an income off 10% of whatever my dad earns. However I feel I have worked for this, I have grown up with the ethic if you work hard you will get what you deserve, and this has been reinforced throughout my education.

On the other hand though I have had the experience, of struggling for money, living with a single mum trying to support three kid on a low wage. Recent years things have not been so though.

I feel that the experience off not having money has allowed me to appreciate what its like for others. For example last year i donated a significant sum to the Haiti earthquake find after travelling there and seeing the damage.

Not saying this to be nasty, because you sound OK, but just as a reality check, your father bought you a luxury apartment in C London at 19 and you feel you have worked for it? Sorry, but that's very much not the case - you are extremely wealthy and privileged for someone your age and have most assuredly not earned it. Not that it makes you a bad person, but just to get some perspective.

I do think that kind of largesse handed to quite young people is going to have quite an effect on them, it's hard for example to see how it won't be spoiling, at the very least, it will set them up bigtime for life in ways most of us can only dream about. Most people don't even make it onto the mortgage ladder now until they are at least 30/35.

[Fires]

(Original post by hannah60000)
Elaborate and develop as to why you feel they want to keep contact to a minimum, what are they scared of if they happen to be?

Well you could call it "snobbery" and doubtless that plays a part, but in my experience, very wealthy parents/grandparents can be nervous of having their children exposed to children from much lower social echelons. They might fear some kind of contagion of bad behaviour, language, cultural norms. They might even in some cases have a generalised anxiety of violence or threat. This kind of thing is part of the driver that keeps top fee-paying schools going - at least some of the motivation is to ensure that the children only mix with "the right sort". Not all of it and not completely, there are loads of exceptions and I am generalising. Even the heavily financially-subsidised students at top schools tend to be not from the poorest backgrounds.

When teenagers turn into young adults, some very rich families get quite worried about them being manipulated for their money by gold-diggers, etc - hence the extensive attempts to control trust funds so that they only pay out to the heir, etc.

As I say, this isn't the whole picture - I know one girl for example (I say girl - she's currently 20) who comes from a very rich family with old business money on both sides. She has a lifestyle many would think spoiled but her parents are smart, thoughtful people who appear to have inculcated very good attitudes and openness. She is clever and caring but she wouldn't be easy to exploit, because she is aware of the issues and has been with significantly poorer people at many times in her life - her family sent her to do voluntary work, to summer camps and so on. Her parents are philanthropic and un-snobbish. She is kind of a model of how a person can grow up wealthy, healthy and wise and not be completely ruined by it all, I'm sure she will do great with it as she gets older.

I think she's a little unusual though. Many rich families are, frankly, disaster zones.

[Bollo's Lovechild]

(Original post by Fires)
Most people don't even make it onto the mortgage ladder now until they are at least 30/35.

I'm sure I read somewhere that the projected average age for people of our generation (ie those in their mid-late teens, early 20s) getting their first mortgage, will rise to 51 years old if the economic climate continues the way it is.
Pretty harrowing figure really, but it could be scaremongering and moral panic from the papers - will try and dig out the study.

[Platostolemysocks]

(Original post by zara55)
I enjoyed reading this, they sound sweet.

I always think there's a difference between "privileged by advantage" and "spoilt by upbringing", you can have lots of the former and not be particularly spoilt but there are plenty of spoilt kids out there from much lower down the social spectrum than your friend. Obviously the crucial difference is parenting and family attitudes about work and money.

They really are, hence why they're my best friends.

Oh definitely! I know a lot of spoilt kids who are a hell of a lot poorer than them too. I think its very easy to spoil your child no matter what your finances are. It very much annoys me that rich kids get a lot of the stick, when poorer kids can be just as bad, some even much worse offenders!!

[other one]

(Original post by zara55)
You'll always get some denial on TSR (and in the real world) because people fear being pigeon-holed as "spoilt brat" or similar stereotypes.

I grew up in what I would class as a very comfortable background (some might call it "rich", others "upper-middle class") and didn't and don't lack for anything material particularly - I have had nice allowances, large presents like a car and other goodies. I think the best thing about growing up the way I did was that my parents and wider family are generally intelligent, good people with good attitudes to life and work and access to a lot of knowledge about all kinds of things. I didn't grow up feeling like I can't get things sorted or figure out what to do or "win through" which is a considerable plus. I like it that I always had good food, healthy exercise, interesting activities, great holidays to fascinating and lovely places and mixed with children at school and home who had similar outlooks. Obviously the generous side of my upbringing was and is very nice and I consider myself lucky.

I am still finding out to what extent I am ignorant of others; like anything in life, what you don't know, you don't know, until you are exposed. Going to college was like that for me - mixing with a wider circle of people than just home & private school. I try not to be too cliquey at college and make an effort to know and learn about people with different lives.

thanks and ignore the negs. here's someone who's perfect for the criteria and answers the questions honestly and in an intelligent manner and then gets negged. I feel sorry for such dumb bitter individuals who negged you.

[britchick]

(Original post by Bollo's Lovechild)
I come from Newcastle, but often get stick off my mates for coming from what is considered a 'posh' area.
However, it's only because my mother remarried to my Step Dad, a working class Geordie who worked his way from the very bottom of the job ladder in insurance to being a well paid professional. Otherwise I would've grown up on a council estate. Likewise, my dad declared bankruptcy when I was 12.

I've been to state schools my whole life and the thing that riles me a bit is the prejudice I face when people ask where I come from and I tell them. It wouldn't bother me if my working class friends and those from the inner suburbs didn't actually get more than me, for example a few of them have horses, or go out every weekend. I'm not bothered about having things, I'm not materialistic whatsoever, but they are often bewildered when I can't come out to town or on a night out because I can't afford the bus fare, I never go out for meals, I'm definitely not getting a car or lessons and I've only ever been on the odd holiday. If I want cash then I have to earn it, though due to the dire employment circumstances at he minute, I've applied for 40+ jobs and not received a single reply.

Don't get me wrong however, I'm incredibly grateful for what I've got, especially the determination to work for what I want - which is rarely anything physical, over anything I desire knowledge (I know I sound like a total posh git here ). The one important thing that growing up on a middle class suburb has taught me, is that I don't want the 'keeping up with the Jones'es' lifestyle, the flash car, big house, private schooling for my children etc, I just want peace of mind, stability, decent food and a girl who I love (sorry to get cringy haha). I just find it more than a bit annoying when I'm on the receiving end of people's prejudices, when really they enjoy more luxuries than I do, larger bedrooms etc, even some of my friends living in council housing. Not that I want these luxuries, I'm perfectly content with what I have. I'm just wondering if anyone else is in a similar boat?

I think I can somewhat relate to what you're saying. Although my dad did have financial support from his parents in his early 20s, he didn't choose to use it but instead started from the bottom of the insurance field ladder, and has worked his way up to where he is now as an insurance broker and vice president of his global insurance firm in Central London.

That said, we go out for meals or trips out probably once every couple of months, probably only when it's a birthday, and that's just to somewhere like Pizza Express so not particularly fancy! And I haven't been allowed a car or lessons. I get an allowance, but I have to buy everything for myself with it, clothes, stationery, I even got told to buy my own toothbrush before.

My friends find it bewildering when I say I can't afford to go out for the night or can't afford a new outfit, but they always can because their parents would literally give them £50 in one go if they asked for it. My friends often come home to their mum having bags of clothes they've bought for them, and get take-aways about 2-3 times a week and go out for meals at least 6-7 times a month, and have expensive phones and contracts, while I'm here with a brick phone on £10 a month and get clothes bought for me strictly once a year and it's usually a Primark/H&M/New Look job.

So it does annoy me when people are prejudiced against the more wealthy when some of them live a particularly less flashy lifestyle than others. And I agree with you that I'd rather live a wholesome life surrounded by the people I love and things that get me by in life, with a sense of modesty and "realness" I suppose. My parents have brought us up to be quite independent individuals, whereas my peers at school are so heavily reliant on their parents for their money and attention I don't know how they're going to cope at uni next year.

[Herr]

(Original post by Ocassus)
Problem is, who wants to buy an old dreary house? The only house of that kind I'd even consider would be Castle Howard, simply because it is purely stunning. Many of them don't have a choice in being asset rich but cash poor. Nobody wants to buy their heirlooms and they are too old or unqualified to work.

The main reasons why many of those homes are unsaleable is simply because even those that are listed as Grade I are in reality in very poor state of condition requiring loads of money to refurbish. Most of these homes are just too big these days to be used as regular homes and generally the only thing that could be done to these buildings are either as a venue for conference, inns or hotels or as a tourist site.

The heirlooms, vast majority of them aren't even suitable for modern day usage or as collectibles, those that are had long since been sold. Many of these are built or commissioned specifically for the said house and it isn't easy to adapt it for usage in other homes. Plus they usually ask for stupidly high prices for them that most people with money simply go elsewhere or just wait till there is desperation.

Actually the main reason isn't the fact that they are asset rich cash poor or have zero qualifications, the main issue with loads of them is they are essentially rent-seekers who try to live in the past. Once was trying to ink a deal with one of these kinds, not just did the family want millions for the estate (which was already paying over the odds for the property) they also wanted a share in the business that would operate of it, their opening asking price was 25% of revenue. Little wonder the house is still up for sale despite it being 7 years now.

(Original post by Ocassus)
Titles like 'Viscount' are relics anyway (No offense), it would be so much better to be a Knight of the realm and a filthy rich businessmen like Richard Branson or Jony Ive or a Peer of the Realm like Alan Sugar.

Exactly Though I much rather be low-key and not attract the attention like Alan Sugar Too damn many plebs start talking about you and then approaching you for donations day in day out I certainly wouldn't want any honours from the sovereign or any royal warrants for any of the products or services I produce.

[soempty]

My parents divorced when i was young and i stayed with my mother. My mother worked in a building company earning about £30,000 a year, so i got to go to the state school . So all of my friends (especially closest ones) are really poor with many never going on a holiday (abroad) in their life and i grew up in the same way as everybody else (i did go on holidays though, but cheaper ones. I had presents like home pc and ski gear). However it changed slightly when i was 13 years old, me and my father (really wealthy person, can afford expensive cars and holidays, owns clothing shops around town i live) decided that i should get education in England, since that point i went to private school and i got the expensive staff i never had (like high price phones, laptops, clothing) and i went with him on a few expensive holidays france maldives etc. I actually really enjoying it and i think thats what i want to be like in my future life. Also because where I live there not so many rich families (in my city) they all get to know each other and some people who i know are absolutely spoilt, they don't give a damn about anything.

[Katie (:]

I guess I've been brought up with a comfortable background, solely due to my mums hard work. She grew up in a working class environment and worked her ass off to get to where she is today. Yes, we can afford luxuries such as holidays to Barbados, designer clothes etc but 99.9% of the time my mum will only "fund" me for things I NEED e.g. supplies for college etc, things I WANT I have to fund with the money I earn from my part time job. And yes that 0.1% of the time my mum will treat. I think when I was little I was perhaps a little spoilt but I've definitely grown out of that.

[Herr]

(Original post by YahRah)
We know the Cardigan family quite well and he, despite being an Earl which is ranked above my father, can barely afford the upkeep on his house. They drive around in 1990-reg cars and their daughters used to have bursaries for private school.

Is that family really as broke and in dire financial straits as many people claim them to be??

[Fires]

(Original post by Herr)
Is that family really as broke and in dire financial straits as many people claim them to be??

Well here's the Earl's car right after "Bo" wrecked it for him in 2010. It's not a Roller. Maybe his other car's a roller though.



Actually most of the traditional landed aristocracy are still doing pretty well despite financially, their kids still enjoy lavish lifestyles. "Bo" (real name "Lady Catherine Anna Brudenell-Bruce") appears to be the classic example of spoiled, upper-class girl going off the rails, but there's also a sense in those circles that it somehow "doesn't matter" - she will know that one day she will come into money and there was a lot of noticeable fawning over her background in the show that won't have hurt her - upper/owning class people can always rely on a certain admiration for them to get them through.

The "spoiled upper-class wastrel" is still very much with us.

[unprinted]

(Original post by Herr)
A scholarship is very different from a bursary to which both these schools have huge amounts of.

Harrow helpfully tells you how much. It works out at the equivalent of the full fees of no more than 30 boys a year out of 800, or under 4% of total school fees.

[cyfer]

(Original post by zara55)
We had a stable and we're not retarded.

Congratulations! Want a cookie?

[TEFLONCHEST]

(Original post by Norton1)
Something like this was all I wanted as a child. This would have been the main difference in me growing up rich. *sigh* one day

http://www.amazon.com/Power-Wheels-K...bs_166413011_3

Every single kid wanted that.


I remember kids who were riding these aren't succesful at all and these who didn't get it, made it out pretty good.

[Sternumator]

I know a lot who are from quite wealthy families. Most of them just spent their childhood boarding at public schools, some like it and some didnt but it isn't amazing either way. Now they are at uni they don't live much different from me, they don't need to worry about money as much but they still live in the same places, go to uni and go out for a few beers. They might live in an ensuite room or go to posh bars but that cant be much better. I know a couple of people from very wealthy families although it is hard to tell between the average public school kid and someone who is seriously rich because they blend in so I might actually know more. They have loads of money in their banks but it is hard to blow a lot of money until you are an adult there isn't much to buy when youre young.

[Add!ction]

(Original post by Astronomical)
You can buy a dodgy second hand car for under £200 - it certainly doesn't require "wealthy parents" and nor does it deem the level of resentment implied in your post.

But you still need to pay for insurance, fuel and general car maintenance.

[Piko_Piko]

(Original post by POWCATTY)
we were discussing concerts and i said i couldnt afford the £55 ticket and he was (quote) 'huh? who cant afford a £55 ticket?? thats weird'. later in the evening he then bought £60 worth of freddo frogs.....

You realise he did this just to piss you off, right?

He thought "What's the most frivolous thing I could possibly spend just over £55 on?" *Sees sweets for sale* "That's it! Freddo Frogs!"

[Shadowplay]

(Original post by YahRah)
Que the negs...

It's not quite as dandy as it seems. I'm under no illusion that I have a very privileged upbringing, thus, I have no problems in replying to the question.
I have a very old fashioned aristocratic family, I won't get in to specifics specifics but I grew up in (and still live in) our family seat which in Hampshire. I spent a lot of my time with my nanny (as in, housekeeper) when I was younger, my father didn't believe that it was his role to look after me, and my mother worked as a barrister and travelled a lot, so as a result I spent a lot of my time with the 'staff' and not my parents (until my siblings were born). When I was 6 I was shipped off to board at public school and have been a boarding school all of my life. Of course I am very thankful for having a wealthy upbringing and I am in no way saying that I have a tough life, but unfortunately having money doesn't give you a close knit family. When you have a chef who cooks every meal, you don't quite get that "mum, what's for dinner?" sort of home life that lots of my friends do.
But I guess I had that because my family are aristocratic so it was all very old fashioned. Of course it was great having all the best toys and clothes and things, and it is very comforting to know that I will have pretty secure future with regards to finances, but being born into money means that you don't realise anything different. Until I was 12 I honestly thought that everybody went on holiday every half term, and (even worse) until I was 17 I thought that every family had an accountant, like a GP.

I know a lot of wealthy families like that... It's just sad. I'd rather be born into a working class family and be taught the values of love and family and work, and appreciate the pence I earn myself, than just live off my parents' money and not have anyone to talk to at home (except the cook, or the butler, or the nanny)

I also think that being rich doesn't mean you're happy. Yeah you have one less thing to worry about, but soon you get used to it. We poor students are really happy with a 4-day trip with Easyjet, but if we went to Bali and New Zealand and Japan every weekend, the novelty would fade.

[Shadowplay]

(Original post by TEFLONCHEST)
Every single kid wanted that.


I remember kids who were riding these aren't succesful at all and these who didn't get it, made it out pretty good.

Hahaha, that's true, my neighbour had it when his family was still well-off, and now he's a poor chav

[fudgesundae]

(Original post by Fires)
I think she's a little unusual though. Many rich families are, frankly, disaster zones.

As are many poor families.

(Original post by Herr)
Is that family really as broke and in dire financial straits as many people claim them to be??

Let's just say their 'family' isn't in the best shape...