B464 - Methane Collection Bill

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  1. Metrobeans's Avatar
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    B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    B464 - Methane Collection Bill, Lipvig, Barnetlad, Moleman1996

    An Act implementing a compulsory collection of methane emitted by people.

    BE IT ENACTED by The Queen's most Excellent Majesty, by and with the advice and consent of the Commons in this present Parliament assembled, in accordance with the provisions of the Parliament Acts 1911 and 1949, and by the authority of the same, as follows:-

    1. Collection of Methane
    (1) Upon the passage of this act, it will be compulsory for people to carry around an empty jar with them, for the purpose of farting into, in an attempt to reduce green house gas emissions.
    (2) This gas will be used for alternative energy, in particular focusing on cooking food, just to freak people out.
    (2) For the purposes of this Act-
    Farting shall refer to farting, not burping.

    2. Enforcement and Punishment
    (1) The enforcement of this Act should be the sole responsibility of the police forces of the UK.

    (2) Violation of this Act should be punishable by a fine not exceeding the sum of the purchase of two monkey butlers and/or imprisonment not exceeding the lifespan of a dragonfly.
    3. Exemption
    (1) People with severe diarrhoea shall be excused.
    (2) Farmers will also be excused, providing they collect the cows farts.
    4. Commencement, short title and extent
    (1) This Act may be cited as the Methane Collection Bill 2012
    (2) This bill shall extend to the United Kingdom; and
    (3) Shall come into force immediately following Royal Assent.
  2. toronto353's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    The humour's a little infantile, but actually this is beginning to get back to what the MRLP are about.
  3. Stiff Little Fingers's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    (2) (2.) - does this mean monkey butlers will be made available to the general public?
  4. Mechie's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    Just give me a minute until I stop laughing.
  5. Mazzini's Avatar
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    What does "severe" mean for the purposes of this Act? :holmes:
  6. 02ncotterill's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    This bill seems like a joke as the ammount of methane a human produces does not have significant impact on enviroment also the point about cow farts would help but cows produce more methane through belching.
  7. Stiff Little Fingers's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    (Original post by 02ncotterill)
    This bill seems like a joke as the ammount of methane a human produces does not have significant impact on enviroment also the point about cow farts would help but cows produce more methane through belching.
    Might be because it's come from those trying to reform the Monster Raving Loony Party.
  8. MacDaddi's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    Hahaha.

    Poorly formatted may I just ask.
  9. Moleman1996's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    (Original post by MacCuishy)
    Hahaha.

    Poorly formatted may I just ask.
    mixed a statement and a question there!

    Do you mean

    (a) "Poorly formatted?" may I just ask?

    or

    (b)Poorly formatted may I just add

  10. MacDaddi's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    (Original post by Moleman1996)
    mixed a statement and a question there!

    Do you mean

    (a) "Poorly formatted?" may I just ask?

    or

    (b)Poorly formatted may I just add

    Massive :facepalm: for me

    *Add

    Funny Bill but it needs better formatting in order to be an aye!
  11. Keckers's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    I feel we could better address this issue with a pigovian style taxation on the excretion of bodily gases. It is an economic act with externalities that need correcting!
  12. Birchington's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    I laughed so hard I did emit some methane, I must admit.
  13. Lipvig's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    (Original post by Alofleicester)
    (2) (2.) - does this mean monkey butlers will be made available to the general public?
    Monkey butlers will be introduced in the next bill, in addition to elephant taxi's and choirs made of crickets.

    (Original post by Mazzini)
    What does "severe" mean for the purposes of this Act? :holmes:
    Constant. Afterall, the last thing we need is to have people doing that into a jar in public
  14. StatusRed's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    Poor joke bill you didn't even format it nicely..
  15. Mazzini's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    (Original post by Lipvig)
    Constant. Afterall, the last thing we need is to have people doing that into a jar in public
    :zomg:
  16. thunder_chunky's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    (Original post by Lipvig)

    Constant. Afterall, the last thing we need is to have people doing that into a jar in public
    Oh you never know, some people might pay to see that sort of thing. I don't know who though.
  17. JPKC's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    Farts are generally only good joke material when you experience an actual one. If someone farts in a room and someone makes a quip, that's funny. Thinking about theoretical farts is, on the other hand, a bit immature. NEIN.
  18. MacDaddi's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    What about:

    If you over-trust a fart and you get more than you bargained for, if you know what I mean.

    Will there be any protection from polluting the environment with that?
  19. toronto353's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    (Original post by MacCuishy)
    What about:

    If you over-trust a fart and you get more than you bargained for, if you know what I mean.

    Will there be any protection from polluting the environment with that?
    What about bottomless jars (pun intended )?
  20. Lipvig's Avatar
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    Re: B464 - Methane Collection Bill
    (Original post by MacCuishy)
    What about:

    If you over-trust a fart and you get more than you bargained for, if you know what I mean.

    Will there be any protection from polluting the environment with that?
    Good question. These people will be required to carry the jar to the nearest waste disposal, before buying a new jar.
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