[Octohedral]

Trust me, there is no point in burning bridges. Try to meet up with her again. If she does it again, tell her straight it was quite rude of her, but leave your friendship open. You might drift apart, but that doesn't mean you have to cut off all contact.

As for the Facebook thing, it's such a triviality. She ought to understand, if you are sensible and mature about it, but running away because it 'could be awkward' will benefit no-one.

You are in the right, as it sounds, but I wouldn't cut off a seven year friendship

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Octohedral)
Trust me, there is no point in burning bridges. Try to meet up with her again. If she does it again, tell her straight it was quite rude of her, but leave your friendship open. You might drift apart, but that doesn't mean you have to cut off all contact.

As for the Facebook thing, it's such a triviality. She ought to understand, if you are sensible and mature about it, but running away because it 'could be awkward' will benefit no-one.

You are in the right, as it sounds, but I wouldn't cut off a seven year friendship

We haven't spoken properly for like 3 years though .. It took me a while to realise.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by syrettd)
If you don't want to meet her, say you're busy or you don't really want to after the last time you visited. You don't have to see her if you don't want to. Sometimes friends just drift apart when they have nothing in common. I go round to visit my friend from primary school once or twice a year and we sit in a room and barely talk- we have nothing to talk about. It's a sad part of life.

If you feel that there is still a good friendship there, and want to see her, meet up with her. The FB thing can be easily gotten over, say it was a mistake or something. If you feel that the friendship has run its course, it's best to just end it.

If she does come over I'll still be nice as usual, I find it hard to be rude to most people. Yeah me and her have nothing to talk about. What should I reply and say after she said she'll see me already. I had things I wanted to do on tues anyway and Monday I'm getting my hair done it might take a while. I guess she could come along if she really wanted to. My other best friend who also drifted apart we seem more like acquaintances and we only talk from time to time and the same with meeting up. I might say on tuesday I was going to goto (place name) if you want to come along and I'll see what she says??
And if she cancels last minute again then thats it.

[syrettd]

(Original post by Anonymous)
If she does come over I'll still be nice as usual, I find it hard to be rude to most people. Yeah me and her have nothing to talk about. What should I reply and say after she said she'll see me already. I had things I wanted to do on tues anyway and Monday I'm getting my hair done it might take a while. I guess she could come along if she really wanted to. My other best friend who also drifted apart we seem more like acquaintances and we only talk from time to time and the same with meeting up. I might say on tuesday I was going to goto (place name) if you want to come along and I'll see what she says??
And if she cancels last minute again then thats it.

It's up to you now. If you want to meet her, then meet her. If you're busy, see if she wants to come with you where you're going. If you don't want to meet her, just tell her you're too busy (in my personal opinion, it's a bit stupid of her to just invite herself round, it's not like you've come over to visit and are now just sitting around doing nothing 24/7, but that's neither here nor there). If you want to meet her, you'll just have to get through any awkwardness. There might not even be any. It just depends what you want to do.

[Miracle Day]

She thinks you're christian and you're mad because she wants you to go to church with her?

[Anonymous]

(Original post by syrettd)
It's up to you now. If you want to meet her, then meet her. If you're busy, see if she wants to come with you where you're going. If you don't want to meet her, just tell her you're too busy (in my personal opinion, it's a bit stupid of her to just invite herself round, it's not like you've come over to visit and are now just sitting around doing nothing 24/7, but that's neither here nor there). If you want to meet her, you'll just have to get through any awkwardness. There might not even be any. It just depends what you want to do.

I just told her I can't do Monday but I'm going somewhere Tues if she wants to come along. As I couldn't really say no after just saying she'll see me not even asking when or if I was busy.

[syrettd]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I just told her I can't do Monday but I'm going somewhere Tues if she wants to come along. As I couldn't really say no after just saying she'll see me not even asking when or if I was busy.

Well...you could have said "No, you can't come over, I'm busy". But it is difficult when it's an inviting themselves over situation. It's up to her now whether or not your friendship is worth keeping.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Miracle Day)
She thinks you're christian and you're mad because she wants you to go to church with her?

That's not the reason.... and it's not a catholic church anyway. I do go church once or twice a year for like family anniversaries .

It's not about that anyway just the way we're drifting apart and her cancelling the way she did and not even a sorry. I've decided I'll see her as I couldn't say no anyway. It's up to her if she wants to come . I'd rather go myself but I'll see if she wants to. If she cancels again then that it.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by syrettd)
Well...you could have said "No, you can't come over, I'm busy". But it is difficult when it's an inviting themselves over situation. It's up to her now whether or not your friendship is worth keeping.

I know it makes it much harder and you'd think some might get the hin . Although I don't think she noticed the fb thing. Which you would if you're best friends with someone.

[syrettd]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I know it makes it much harder and you'd think some might get the hin . Although I don't think she noticed the fb thing. Which you would if you're best friends with someone.

Don't worry about the FB thing. Just say you didn't realise she was deleted, it must have been a mistake. You don't need to explain anything, it could just end up making a potentially awkward situation more awkward.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by syrettd)
Don't worry about the FB thing. Just say you didn't realise she was deleted, it must have been a mistake. You don't need to explain anything, it could just end up making a potentially awkward situation more awkward.

I don't think she noticed though which does say a lot. I won't bring it up anyway.

[Iqbal007]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Am I being mean by doing and just not going to bother seeing her? My friend who knows her sees it as me just holding a grudge. My other best friend who doesn't thinks I should leave it that it's not worth it.

One of my friends mum mentioned that I was here over facebook. So she didn't see any of the tweets I had about it.

Your not being mean at all................nor should your friend see it as a grudge, you can just tell her the truth, she's not the friend that she used to be for you, and is longer there............for someone who is barely considered a friend, do people actually bother with them? The answer is no, especially when they don't bother as well and let your friendship die when tried to liven it up again.

[Negaduck]

From my experience, people who aren't willing to make any effort for you deserve nothing in return. Don't waste your time on her.

[Anonymous]

She's not replied yet anyway it's been hours. She did kind of just say she'll see me on the days she said and not even asking am I free. Its like we're meeting on her terms. I can't say no either as it's awkward with her inviting herself. Im not sure I want to see her . I might just say I'm sick on the day or something. I don't want to waste my time . I still feel mean. But then she cancelled extremely last minute.

[Historiana]

(Original post by Anonymous)
She's not replied yet anyway it's been hours. She did kind of just say she'll see me on the days she said and not even asking am I free. Its like we're meeting on her terms. I can't say no either as it's awkward with her inviting herself. Im not sure I want to see her . I might just say I'm sick on the day or something. I don't want to waste my time . I still feel mean. But then she cancelled extremely last minute.

IMO, I wouldn't see her. To me, your replies read as if you've made up your mind that you don't want to and are searching for corroborative opinions to follow through with your conviction. Follow your gut instinct - I would say from what you've written, that you don't want to see her. Don't feel bad about this. You shouldn't feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with people who you don't want to see, who you don't really speak to and who have treated you quite shoddily with no real explanation given.

You've said that you barely speak, you've deleted her from Facebook and you've realised she's shown disinterest in seeing or speaking to you for over three years. The way you made time for her last time, and she stood you up for no good reason, suggests that she's a tad selfish and only wants a 'friendship' on her terms.

I think you can find other people who deserve your time, and friendship, more. If you choose not to see her, and I think you should avoid her, and she asks why then just explain how you feel the friendship has petered out because of differences and time. Some friendships aren't meant to last forever, I mean, I don't speak to people I would've called best friends five years ago. Not because of any major conflict, but just because we changed and moved on in life. We grew apart.

Enjoy your time in England and do things with people you want to see!