[Herr]

We have plenty of threads on TSR asking what's it like to have rich parents or to come from a privileged background.

Now am sure there are plenty on here who aren't from such backgrounds,

We all sometimes do wonder what's it like growing up underprivileged and minus the huge arsenal of wealth our parents provide us with. Am pretty sure it isn't really as bleak as many make it sound. What does it really feel like?

Does it feel anything for example when in school people talk about what their parents do for a living and you have to say they are on benefits or living on the dole?

Admittedly my exposure to people who are from such backgrounds is limited at best and tbh the only people I know on benefits are those I speak to on TSR.

Please share your experience.

* Only those who are from under-privileged backgrounds from OECD countries only please.

[Calum93]

My parents arent on the dole, but are in poorly paid jobs; Dad is a labourer in a factory and Mum works part time in a call centre.

How do I feel? Without being facetious, I feel fine. My family loves me, we have never gone hungry (Ive gone without lunch on occasion for there being no food in the fridge, but I'd prefer it were me than my younger sisters, and theres always been dinner at the end of the day).

I guess its the little things that are different. Its not the lack of designer clothes or christmas presents that bothers me, its the occasions where ive had a mock exam the next day and had been kept up by kids smashing up and setting light to an abandoned car (council estate...).

But, I feel happier knowing everything I do will be for myself, and that Im making my family proud. Theres no inheritance coming and no money to help at uni, but Im getting bursaries so hopefully ill be ok. And although I try to avoid overt-pride when I can, I do like that Im the only kid from my entire estate going to uni.

Sorry if that was a bit of a stream of consciousness on being less than privileged but I hope its of some interest to you!

[Genocidal]

Surely it would just be like rich people with less stuff?

[Care-Free]

(Original post by Calum93)
My parents arent on the dole, but are in poorly paid jobs; Dad is a labourer in a factory and Mum works part time in a call centre.

How do I feel? Without being facetious, I feel fine. My family loves me, we have never gone hungry (Ive gone without lunch on occasion for there being no food in the fridge, but I'd prefer it were me than my younger sisters, and theres always been dinner at the end of the day).

I guess its the little things that are different. Its not the lack of designer clothes or christmas presents that bothers me, its the occasions where ive had a mock exam the next day and had been kept up by kids smashing up and setting light to an abandoned car (council estate...).

But, I feel happier knowing everything I do will be for myself, and that Im making my family proud. Theres no inheritance coming and no money to help at uni, but Im getting bursaries so hopefully ill be ok. And although I try to avoid overt-pride when I can, I do like that Im the only kid from my entire estate going to uni.

Sorry if that was a bit of a stream of consciousness on being less than privileged but I hope its of some interest to you!

Ditto

Always been worse off money-wise with my mum as a single parent to 3 kids and no maintenance from the father, shes only a carer for dementia paitents too so she's on minimum wage but i think i've grown up better for it, there's never been a point where i've felt unloved or ignored, my whole family is really very close and i wouldnt consider giving it up for more money.

Not that i think richer kids get less love, i just dont feel disadvantaged for having less money

[HagathaChristie]

I don't generally feel massively out of place with my friends (whose families all have significantly more money than mine) but every so often someone will say something or I'll notice something seemingly innocuous that'll remind me that there is a difference. Stuff like getting asked where I went on holiday over the summer (assuming that I'll definitely have been somewhere, when we've never been able to afford to go on holiday) or if I'm eating round a mate's house and they'll have all brand-name food with spares of things in the cupboard when our kitchen is full of Sainsburys Basics and we buy it as we run out. I did feel very awkward when people at my college would complain about how much grant/loan/bursary people on low incomes got and how unfair EMA was and everything. I know the system isn't perfect and there are some really unfortunate cases where people's parents earn over certain thresholds but can't help them out at all, but I always felt I had to kind of justify me being in education and planning to go to uni at all. I'd say for people from well-off backgrounds that it's probably both more and less different than you'd expect, if that makes sense.

[dothestrand]

Sometimes difficult; I can recall a particularly distressing time when my mum had 50p in her purse on a Friday, and that was it til her benefits were paid on a Tuesday. And I hate where we lived (where my mum still does); it's a pretty crappy area and it always saddened me that we had nowhere else to go.
But I had an otherwise normal upbringing; none of my friends were massively wealthy so I was never insanely jealous of them. The only thing I would have liked is piano lessons, hardly the most vital thing in the world.

[johndoranglasgow]

BRB Developing IV drug habit and filling out dole form.

...Just because mummy and daddy don't have great jobs/a nice big cheque to fork over when they snuff it doesn't mean life is particularly bad, a lot of people in the world have a lot less in their lives.

[Lil08]

It ain't pretty, I tell ya.

[RebeccaLydia]

(Original post by Genocidal)
Surely it would just be like rich people with less stuff?

This is just the furthest away from the truth.

Being poor is not about the amount of income one has specifically; it is about the spiralling, condemning, detrimental effects.

Clever children from working class backgrounds have the worst opportunities, the most wasted talent and the least positive expectations from society.

There is a profound socio-economic disability that comes when someone is born into the lower rungs of British culture, no matter what good character or intelligence they possess.

[OU Student]

I remember it being awful. We didn't have holidays and I would get teased because my dad works in a fish factory...

Thankfully when in primary school, it was never obvious that people were on free school meals.

[don_lad_]

it's ****

[Tolth]

(Original post by Herr)
We have plenty of threads on TSR asking what's it like to have rich parents or to come from a privileged background.

Now am sure there are plenty on here who aren't from such backgrounds,

We all sometimes do wonder what's it like growing up underprivileged and minus the huge arsenal of wealth our parents provide us with. Am pretty sure it isn't really as bleak as many make it sound. What does it really feel like?

Does it feel anything for example when in school people talk about what their parents do for a living and you have to say they are on benefits or living on the dole?

Admittedly my exposure to people who are from such backgrounds is limited at best and tbh the only people I know on benefits are those I speak to on TSR.

Please share your experience.

* Only those who are from under-privileged backgrounds from OECD countries only please.

I grew up in a rough as **** area of Merseyside in a single parent family. I was in no sense aware that I was truly 'poor' until I was 12-13 at which point I began to socialize more widely; my attitude towards those more privileged than myself moved from jealousy to derision around the time I worked out that ten years of looking after myself, both academically and practically, meant that I could outclass the more privileged kids pretty easily when given a fair playing field at university. Being poor is pretty **** when you're a kid and an awful lot of people never get given a chance to escape their background, but in a weird way I'm glad that I wasn't born to a rich family because the degree of self-awareness/cynicism forced on you by being born outside of generalized privilege is very useful in adult life. (This is not to say those sort of mental skills do not exist in people from affluent backgrounds; they do, indeed, although in my experience they seem most common in those who have grown up either very poor or very, very rich.)

[JongKey]

(Original post by Genocidal)
Surely it would just be like rich people with less stuff?

No completely different.

Well my parents work extremely hard to provide for my family, they try so hard to put food on the table. I go for so long without seeing my dad as he works so much but they've never let me or my brothers feel like there's anything wrong but there are so many money issues. I obviously don't get to buy designer clothes or anything but you notice the major difference between the worlds when people ask where you've been on holiday, i haven't been anywhere for 6 years but you learn to live with it. I'm determined to make a better life for myself and my family.

[jennaz77]

My mum works but the household income is £9000 at the moment and I live in a council estate with my mum and 3 brothers and sisters. I never realised we were kind of poor until I was about 16. My life is all I know so I always classed it as normal. Ive always appreciated everything in my life, although the fridge is often empty and I could never ask my mum for money or luxuries, I have always excelled at school, I have a wonderful family, and I wouldn't change my childhood for anything. It's made me who I am.

[math1234]

(Original post by Calum93)
My parents arent on the dole, but are in poorly paid jobs; Dad is a labourer in a factory and Mum works part time in a call centre.

How do I feel? Without being facetious, I feel fine. My family loves me, we have never gone hungry (Ive gone without lunch on occasion for there being no food in the fridge, but I'd prefer it were me than my younger sisters, and theres always been dinner at the end of the day).

I guess its the little things that are different. Its not the lack of designer clothes or christmas presents that bothers me, its the occasions where ive had a mock exam the next day and had been kept up by kids smashing up and setting light to an abandoned car (council estate...).

But, I feel happier knowing everything I do will be for myself, and that Im making my family proud. Theres no inheritance coming and no money to help at uni, but Im getting bursaries so hopefully ill be ok. And although I try to avoid overt-pride when I can, I do like that Im the only kid from my entire estate going to uni.

Sorry if that was a bit of a stream of consciousness on being less than privileged but I hope its of some interest to you!

Your story made me to cry

Truly inspiring


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[Beebumble]

Tbh my life isn't that bad at the moment. For the short time my Mum had to go on benefits times were really tough for her I didn't realise until I got older though because she hid it well. There was one time she had literally no money and was lucky she had a free bus pass to get to my Nan's who could give her huge bulk of food!

For most of my life it hasn't been that bad though. Never had a family car but that's alright because I get car sickness anyway, my Mum gets a lot of our food from Icelands (not the horrible products just bread, milk, eggs etc..)because it's cheap so always a bit awkward when I hear people slagging it off, not able to go out with friends as much- which I'm fine with but I feel awkward when they then start offering to pay or buy me lunch.

The only time it really affected me was when I was about 12 and I made a really good friend who happened to be very well off. Now, most of my friends before that were from a same kind of background as me so I'd never experienced any negativity from people about my lifestyle before ( I naively thought most people lived like I did) but her family loved me until they realised I lived in a council flat! After that she stopped hanging round with me and her Mum encouraged her to make 'better' friends.

When the 'credit crunch' first hit I found it slightly amusing how the media were over exaggerating and going on about how awful it is and how people were going to have to rely on public transport, give up holidays abroad, shop around for bargains and use electric meter keys. They were making it out like that all these things were so awful when in reality I was living like that anyway and it wasn't that bad. It was just like well welcome to my world.

Still wouldn't say I was that poor though there are loads of people in the country worse off than me but I suppose in comparison to the people on TSR I am quite poor.

[lyle17120]

Its no cakewalk, put it that way

[GdotL]

Why are people negging my earlier true statement? - so pathetic.

[GdotL]

(Original post by jesse111)
Erm... I live on a council estate, and my mum gets child benefit so I guess Im seen as ''poor''. But it doesnt feel that way, I mean me and my younger brother definately have got everything we've ever wanted. I have nice clothes, even branded ones. Consoles, Laptops. Reasonable Lunch/school Money.
Money to go out with friends on weekend even though its not pocket money,I get if I ask. Me and my family go on holiday every year, even though its always to Portugal (atleast its a holiday). Never ever have we skipped a meal, No doubt I think I live better than some of my friends that dont live on council estates. My dad currently works as a Car piece Deliverer/ry man, and my mum recently got joined the workforce after raising my younger brother whilst he was young, now working in a primary school kitchen. The reason I've got a decent life is definately because of my hard work, but even after all their hard work I'd be lied if I said im not ashamed of their careers and the area we live in, to the point where I tend to tell people my mum doesnt work and my dad works for Audi. I guess as my parents are both Immigrants and we are pretty financially stable I should be grateful, but I'd once again be lieng if I said I didnt have higher expectations for my life/career. But overall I wouldnt change my life at all and love my parents regardless

Everyone gets child benefit, regardless of income. You don't sound that poor to be honest.

[Ammelia]

Well it's not exactly a nice thing to not have much money. I'm a foster child, and when I got to 18 they basically said "F*** you, go live on benefits", which obviously sucked because I barely managed to cover my phone bill every month, let alone go out. On top of that, living in london on benefits sucks when using an adult oyster card. After a while you can't really go anywhere and summer when your friends are going out is kinda depressing.
Growing up on benefits (pre-fostering) is also not fun. I got bullied a lot for wearing charity clothes and literally survived on lunch at school and ocasionally dinner because the fridge was nearly always empty.

So yeah, benefits suck. You can't have seriously been expecting a Disney story here with that question though OP!