[scotland369]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Not sure why everyones ganging up on the dad, the mum has obviously done something terrible to provoke him. Poor dad in my opinion

I find this attitude of blaming the victim quite disturbing to be honest.

You automatically assume that she has done something "terrible", when there is no evidence of this, yet you describe what appears to be somebody committing domestic abuse as a victim.

I've obviously completely misinterpreted your post though...

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Not sure why everyones ganging up on the dad, the mum has obviously done something terrible to provoke him. Poor dad in my opinion

Not only is that insensitive to the OPs situation but it's also bloody ridiculous. Whatever this poor woman's supposedly done, nothing condones violence, especially not when your kids are sat there watching. Even if she had cheated or whatever, whilst he'd have a right to be angry that doesnt give him the right to channel that anger through abuse, its just wrong, and as an adult you should be able to deal with situations with nore self-control.

And you have no evidence to suggest the woman did whatever it is he's accusing her of anyway, I once watched my dad throw my mum into a car over something he created in his own head.

OP I'm glad to hear things are better now, there's not really a set piece of advice people can give as every situations different but just take it as it goes and try and let the two of them sort it between them, if you do start to feel in danger at any point don't be afraid to just get out of the house and call the police, but hopefully it won't come to that. Good luck with your exams anyway, bu don't stress about revision if this continues, your family's well being is more important and if it does have a massive impact you have a justifiable reason to resit.

[Xarren]

Cry me a river?

[Mulligan]

Could you manage to call childline and talk this through with someone who will be able to advise you
http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx

[somethingbeautiful]

(Original post by PrincePauper)
Could you please highlight wherever I said that??

Sorry, I can't assume that everyone on the internet is nice.

You asked 'what was the other side to the story?' - which, when you don't know the character of the person who asks that, implies that the other side of the story is somehow relevant in order to justify or make sense of why he hit her.

Edit:

See what I mean?

(Original post by Anonymous)
Not sure why everyones ganging up on the dad, the mum has obviously done something terrible to provoke him. Poor dad in my opinion

[Snorrrlax]

(Original post by somethingbeautiful)
Sorry, I can't assume that everyone on the internet is nice.

You asked 'what was the other side to the story?' - which, when you don't know the character of the person who asks that, implies that the other side of the story is somehow relevant in order to justify or make sense of why he hit her.

Edit:

See what I mean?

No matter how bad the situation, you should still look at both sides of the story... You wouldn't be very good as a member of the jury.

[somethingbeautiful]

(Original post by Snorrrlax)
No matter how bad the situation, you should still look at both sides of the story... You wouldn't be very good as a member of the jury.

Of course you need to look at both sides to every story but in this case some people won't - they'll assume that the woman did something to deserve her treatment and so they'll make their mind up before they even know both sides.

Oh and there's no need to judge my whole character based on one post you read on the internet - especially when you misinterpreted it.

[Snorrrlax]

(Original post by somethingbeautiful)
Of course you need to look at both sides to every story but in this case some people won't - they'll assume that the woman did something to deserve her treatment and so they'll make their mind up before they even know both sides.

Oh and there's no need to judge my whole character based on one post you read on the internet - especially when you misinterpreted it.

The only assumptions I've seen on here is that the man was a psychopath and the woman was innocent, I don't know where you got that idea from... Of course the man reacted very badly and nothing she did could condone violence, but it is important to look at the other side.

I'm not judging your whole character - just your ability to carry out justice, seeing as you're so adamant that there's no need to look at the other side of the story.

[Princess008]

its common in asian families and u get used to it. help your mum and make a way so both ur dad and mum talk about what they have done and why with an adult

[Omotee12]

I pray that peace shall reign in your family. It is well. Just have faith and stay focused and encourage them both.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[As_Dust_Dances_]

I think your dad needs to talk to Frank.

[somethingbeautiful]

(Original post by Snorrrlax)
The only assumptions I've seen on here is that the man was a psychopath and the woman was innocent, I don't know where you got that idea from... Of course the man reacted very badly and nothing she did could condone violence, but it is important to look at the other side.

I'm not judging your whole character - just your ability to carry out justice, seeing as you're so adamant that there's no need to look at the other side of the story.

That's just untrue.
It's as if you didn't read my post at all.

[blue n white army]

(Original post by Omotee12)
I pray that peace shall reign in your family. It is well. Just have faith and stay focused and encourage them both.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Ah yes lets all pray, that should help.

[Luxray]

(Original post by Anonymous)
It shocked me so much because I've NEVER seen him act violent, he's never been violent at all since I've known. I never thought he had it in him.

I don't think violence (to that extent) is ever justifiable but I can understand why he was so angry if he personally was certain that she was cheating on him.

[Luxray]

(Original post by Snorrrlax)
No matter how bad the situation, you should still look at both sides of the story... You wouldn't be very good as a member of the jury.

I agree.

[Magenta96]

Just try to keep your mind off it.

[Anonymous]

Update: Dad decided to come home the next day acting as though nothing has happened. Everyone in the house is giving him the silent treatment but I can't help feeling sorry for him. I know what he did was wrong but no one has spoken to him all day and he's just sat there and looks lonely. He keeps trying to talk to me but I just give him short responses and go to another room. Should I talk to him or give the silent treatment a bit more to teach him a lesson?

[GStevens]

(Original post by englishmad)
I would also say, lock the doors and don't let your dad in under any circumstances.

I don't really understand why I've been negged as the dad in this scenario appears volatile and unpredictable.

Probably because what you suggest is naive and impractical and almost guaranteed to exacerbate the situation, even if well meant.

To the op, glad things have calmed down, hope it stays that way. It may seem like weighing GCSEs against family but it's not. Not getting your GCSEs will not help your mum. It will be hard to concentrate but it will be worth it if you possibly can.

Good luck.

[smellycat_forever]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Update: Dad decided to come home the next day acting as though nothing has happened. Everyone in the house is giving him the silent treatment but I can't help feeling sorry for him. I know what he did was wrong but no one has spoken to him all day and he's just sat there and looks lonely. He keeps trying to talk to me but I just give him short responses and go to another room. Should I talk to him or give the silent treatment a bit more to teach him a lesson?

If it was me, i'd seriously consider confronting him about the situation. You have a right to confront him as the act of violence took place right in front of you; you're entitled to know why he felt he had the right to do what he did and what motivated him to do it.
Really sorry to hear about the situation, hope it works out and that your mum is feeling better

[GStevens]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Should I talk to him or give the silent treatment a bit more to teach him a lesson?

It will show your disapproval but it wont 'teach him a lesson'. It might raise stress levels more though, it's not nice to be excluded like that. Sounds as though he's feeling pretty bad anyway.

I would talk to him, if you can try to get things back to normal without your mum or dad feeling you are taking sides it could help. In these situations someone has to 'break the ice'. It's not really your job but there's nothing to say it can't be you if it feels right.

I would suggest that you don't try to delve too deeply into the reasons, just try to move on, leave the nitty gritty to your parents to sort out.

Fingers crossed.