[Sharon-nd]

I’m a 20 year old British Indian female student one issue that has been a large concern for me is the insults I have received from guys in the past. Throughout high school I was constantly bullied to which changed when I moved to a sixth form college. I try and brush off the bullying as an attribute to my high school appearance in which I was a late developer and very small and skinny as well having both glasses and braces topped off with a lisp. However I think the feeling of being the ugly girl and just innately ugly to my core hasn’t ever completely disappeared.
My appearance has completely changed from high school and I have actually received some compliments since from guys and girls yet they seem to evaporate in the midst of the insults that I have also received. I never dare feel good about myself like I’m not worthy and I feel like I need to know why I got these insults and every insult I received from guys since enforces this. For example in fresher’s week I was sharing a taxi with my flatmates and a guy ,when I said something to one of my flatmates the guy laughed and then proceeded to do an imitation of my lisp which reduced me to tears. Now I can’t help think he would act like that to my blonde stunning flatmate who he’d been trying to pull all night and buy her drinks, accentuating the divide between me and the pretty girl who doesn’t get insulted. Another time a guy accidently burned me with a cigarette to which I cried out in pain and he looked me up and down and said she’s small he said it in an “urggh she’s small” sort of way. Now for all of you who assumed that I annoyed them I barely spoke to them and it was the first time meeting them in those instances so how could they know me, and my friends say I’m really shy and timid when meeting people.
I also feel like maybe it’s because I’m not one of those pretty girls and don’t look like the members of “The Saturdays” or am not a blonde beauty that this is why. I feel like guys view me as ugly and so not worthy of respect. My friends say I’m pretty but I feel the pretty girls all the guys want are never insulted and instead worshipped. Also I read somewhere that guys want the girls other guys desire and I feel like I oppose this and feel like tainted goods because of the insults I have received, if other guys believed this of me and all the ugly comments I have received as well being overlooked why would they want me. Thank you for reading this any help is greatly appreciated.

[rodcarter]

Picture? It's the quickest way

[boromir9111]

(Original post by rodcarter)
Picture? It's the quickest way

You muppet.

[boromir9111]

(Original post by Sharon-nd)
I’m a 20 year old British Indian female student one issue that has been a large concern for me is the insults I have received from guys in the past. Throughout high school I was constantly bullied to which changed when I moved to a sixth form college. I try and brush off the bullying as an attribute to my high school appearance in which I was a late developer and very small and skinny as well having both glasses and braces topped off with a lisp. However I think the feeling of being the ugly girl and just innately ugly to my core hasn’t ever completely disappeared.
My appearance has completely changed from high school and I have actually received some compliments since from guys and girls yet they seem to evaporate in the midst of the insults that I have also received. I never dare feel good about myself like I’m not worthy and I feel like I need to know why I got these insults and every insult I received from guys since enforces this. For example in fresher’s week I was sharing a taxi with my flatmates and a guy ,when I said something to one of my flatmates the guy laughed and then proceeded to do an imitation of my lisp which reduced me to tears. Now I can’t help think he would act like that to my blonde stunning flatmate who he’d been trying to pull all night and buy her drinks, accentuating the divide between me and the pretty girl who doesn’t get insulted. Another time a guy accidently burned me with a cigarette to which I cried out in pain and he looked me up and down and said she’s small he said it in an “urggh she’s small” sort of way. Now for all of you who assumed that I annoyed them I barely spoke to them and it was the first time meeting them in those instances so how could they know me, and my friends say I’m really shy and timid when meeting people.
I also feel like maybe it’s because I’m not one of those pretty girls and don’t look like the members of “The Saturdays” or am not a blonde beauty that this is why. I feel like guys view me as ugly and so not worthy of respect. My friends say I’m pretty but I feel the pretty girls all the guys want are never insulted and instead worshipped. Also I read somewhere that guys want the girls other guys desire and I feel like I oppose this and feel like tainted goods because of the insults I have received, if other guys believed this of me and all the ugly comments I have received as well being overlooked why would they want me. Thank you for reading this any help is greatly appreciated.

Though it's sad to read this but tbf OP, you're old enough to know that guys can be real "dicks" and women are no better, worse, sometimes......choose your friends better and don't let idiots bring you down to their level.....you're better than that and you need to start believing in that!

[alex_hk90]

(Original post by Sharon-nd)
I’m a 20 year old British Indian female student one issue that has been a large concern for me is the insults I have received from guys in the past. Throughout high school I was constantly bullied to which changed when I moved to a sixth form college. I try and brush off the bullying as an attribute to my high school appearance in which I was a late developer and very small and skinny as well having both glasses and braces topped off with a lisp. However I think the feeling of being the ugly girl and just innately ugly to my core hasn’t ever completely disappeared.
My appearance has completely changed from high school and I have actually received some compliments since from guys and girls yet they seem to evaporate in the midst of the insults that I have also received. I never dare feel good about myself like I’m not worthy and I feel like I need to know why I got these insults and every insult I received from guys since enforces this. For example in fresher’s week I was sharing a taxi with my flatmates and a guy ,when I said something to one of my flatmates the guy laughed and then proceeded to do an imitation of my lisp which reduced me to tears. Now I can’t help think he would act like that to my blonde stunning flatmate who he’d been trying to pull all night and buy her drinks, accentuating the divide between me and the pretty girl who doesn’t get insulted. Another time a guy accidently burned me with a cigarette to which I cried out in pain and he looked me up and down and said she’s small he said it in an “urggh she’s small” sort of way. Now for all of you who assumed that I annoyed them I barely spoke to them and it was the first time meeting them in those instances so how could they know me, and my friends say I’m really shy and timid when meeting people.
I also feel like maybe it’s because I’m not one of those pretty girls and don’t look like the members of “The Saturdays” or am not a blonde beauty that this is why. I feel like guys view me as ugly and so not worthy of respect. My friends say I’m pretty but I feel the pretty girls all the guys want are never insulted and instead worshipped. Also I read somewhere that guys want the girls other guys desire and I feel like I oppose this and feel like tainted goods because of the insults I have received, if other guys believed this of me and all the ugly comments I have received as well being overlooked why would they want me. Thank you for reading this any help is greatly appreciated.

I'm sure you've heard the phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

As for whether people treat other people they consider beautiful differently from those they consider ugly, unfortunately I would say that is the case for the vast majority of people. However, if they treat such people differently to the extent that they don't respect them for who they are (regardless of appearance) then you're probably better off not knowing those people anyway.

[Ferrero Rocher]

It would help if you would stop seeing yourself from the perspective of a man.

[math1234]

You are beautiful, 100% truth.
And The flatmate who was with you in the taxi: stop meeting with such *****


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

[writergirl]

(Original post by alex_hk90)
I'm sure you've heard the phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

As for whether people treat other people they consider beautiful differently from those they consider ugly, unfortunately I would say that is the case for the vast majority of people. However, if they treat such people differently to the extent that they don't respect them for who they are (regardless of appearance) then you're probably better off not knowing those people anyway.

^absolutely this. With regards to beauty/personality, it is common to human nature that we often judge people by looks instantly, as a lot of the time that is the only thing you can base your judgement on. However OP, you sound like a lovely person and the way I see it as this; If i ever went blind/someone put a paper bag over my face permanently (bear with me on this haha) i'd rather sit with your company if you're a good person, even if i cannot see you. Looks are well and good, but if you haven't got the personality to back it up...then you've not got it nearly as good as you think.

[Iqbal007]

(Original post by Sharon-nd)
I’m a 20 year old British Indian female student one issue that has been a large concern for me is the insults I have received from guys in the past. Throughout high school I was constantly bullied to which changed when I moved to a sixth form college. I try and brush off the bullying as an attribute to my high school appearance in which I was a late developer and very small and skinny as well having both glasses and braces topped off with a lisp. However I think the feeling of being the ugly girl and just innately ugly to my core hasn’t ever completely disappeared.
My appearance has completely changed from high school and I have actually received some compliments since from guys and girls yet they seem to evaporate in the midst of the insults that I have also received. I never dare feel good about myself like I’m not worthy and I feel like I need to know why I got these insults and every insult I received from guys since enforces this. For example in fresher’s week I was sharing a taxi with my flatmates and a guy ,when I said something to one of my flatmates the guy laughed and then proceeded to do an imitation of my lisp which reduced me to tears. Now I can’t help think he would act like that to my blonde stunning flatmate who he’d been trying to pull all night and buy her drinks, accentuating the divide between me and the pretty girl who doesn’t get insulted. Another time a guy accidently burned me with a cigarette to which I cried out in pain and he looked me up and down and said she’s small he said it in an “urggh she’s small” sort of way. Now for all of you who assumed that I annoyed them I barely spoke to them and it was the first time meeting them in those instances so how could they know me, and my friends say I’m really shy and timid when meeting people.
I also feel like maybe it’s because I’m not one of those pretty girls and don’t look like the members of “The Saturdays” or am not a blonde beauty that this is why. I feel like guys view me as ugly and so not worthy of respect. My friends say I’m pretty but I feel the pretty girls all the guys want are never insulted and instead worshipped. Also I read somewhere that guys want the girls other guys desire and I feel like I oppose this and feel like tainted goods because of the insults I have received, if other guys believed this of me and all the ugly comments I have received as well being overlooked why would they want me. Thank you for reading this any help is greatly appreciated.

I really don't get how some random people you don't even know can be like this to you when they barely know you.
And thats it, they don't know you at all, so what they say hardly reflects on who you are, so ignore them.
And to be honest guys like that end on the bottom, you shouldn't even care for what guys like this say, cos clearly their not your ideal guy nor does it seem like they would be for any other girl.

[Newbie123]

(Original post by Sharon-nd)
I’m a 20 year old British Indian female student one issue that has been a large concern for me is the insults I have received from guys in the past. Throughout high school I was constantly bullied to which changed when I moved to a sixth form college. I try and brush off the bullying as an attribute to my high school appearance in which I was a late developer and very small and skinny as well having both glasses and braces topped off with a lisp. However I think the feeling of being the ugly girl and just innately ugly to my core hasn’t ever completely disappeared.
My appearance has completely changed from high school and I have actually received some compliments since from guys and girls yet they seem to evaporate in the midst of the insults that I have also received. I never dare feel good about myself like I’m not worthy and I feel like I need to know why I got these insults and every insult I received from guys since enforces this. For example in fresher’s week I was sharing a taxi with my flatmates and a guy ,when I said something to one of my flatmates the guy laughed and then proceeded to do an imitation of my lisp which reduced me to tears. Now I can’t help think he would act like that to my blonde stunning flatmate who he’d been trying to pull all night and buy her drinks, accentuating the divide between me and the pretty girl who doesn’t get insulted. Another time a guy accidently burned me with a cigarette to which I cried out in pain and he looked me up and down and said she’s small he said it in an “urggh she’s small” sort of way. Now for all of you who assumed that I annoyed them I barely spoke to them and it was the first time meeting them in those instances so how could they know me, and my friends say I’m really shy and timid when meeting people.
I also feel like maybe it’s because I’m not one of those pretty girls and don’t look like the members of “The Saturdays” or am not a blonde beauty that this is why. I feel like guys view me as ugly and so not worthy of respect. My friends say I’m pretty but I feel the pretty girls all the guys want are never insulted and instead worshipped. Also I read somewhere that guys want the girls other guys desire and I feel like I oppose this and feel like tainted goods because of the insults I have received, if other guys believed this of me and all the ugly comments I have received as well being overlooked why would they want me. Thank you for reading this any help is greatly appreciated.

Hey, it could be worse, you could look like this:

http://shechive.files.wordpress.com/...pg?w=500&h=567

[ckingalt]

Your only real problem is that you are massively insecure. Your self-doubt becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. People look down on you because they intuitively realize that you look down on yourself.

[Elissabeth]

But, remember, at the end of the day, LOOKS FADE!!!!

That blonde girl will age just like anyone else, and will anyone respect her anymore than anyone else once she has lost her looks???

Anyway, I'm sure you look better natural, then those WAG-types plastered in make-up and having claws instead of nails! Oh, and orange skin!

[Newbie123]

(Original post by Summering)
No. How do you think this doubt comes about in the first place? If people call you ugly for a long time, obviously thoughts are gonna come up about being ugly.

Ive known plenty of confident guys who went to a new school and got bullied for being ugly. Eventually their confidence falls because people call them ugly.

Similarly, I've known depressed people who began to work out and then get lots of positive comments about being less fat/ugly. Because they're not seen as ugly anymore, their confidence increases.

It's not self-inflicted, everyone is a product of their environment.

It's not as simple as that, seeing as different people derive their self-esteem from different things - e.g. person A may get really upset if he/she is mocked for his/her looks, but person B wouldn't give a ****.

Those "confident guys" you knew clearly weren't very confident if they allowed themselves to be genuinely affected by what others made of their looks.

[Larendor]

(Original post by Elissabeth)
But, remember, at the end of the day, LOOKS FADE!!!!

That blonde girl will age just like anyone else, and will anyone respect her anymore than anyone else once she has lost her looks???

Anyway, I'm sure you look better natural, then those WAG-types plastered in make-up and having claws instead of nails! Oh, and orange skin!

... How nice of you to insult a girl you don't know anything about, other than her appearance.

[Planar]

(Original post by rodcarter)
Picture? It's the quickest way

You're an *******, this is obviously more about self-esteem than looks

[battycatlady]

You need to stop seeing yourself from the perspective of others. Do something to improve your inner self esteem. If you feel beautiful and ooze confidence then other people will be less likely to see you as ugly 'cause they'll sense your inner confidence which is attractive. Beauty comes from within. I know it's hard to get confidence as I've been there, but just force yourself to talk to strangers and stuff. Dazzle them with your lovely personality. And if someone insults you, even if its offensive, laugh with them, or turn the insult on its head and use it to insult them. If you do this people will know they can't bully you and they'll stop insulting you. People judge on looks at first, it's just human nature. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what other people think though; you're insecure so you need to learn to accept and respect yourself first. Then other people will be more likely to respect you to. Oh, and get rid of the flatmate- she sounds like a bit of a dingbat! :P

[CherryCherryBoomBoom]

Same sort of things have happened to me. Just try to ignore the dicks and surround yourself with positive people who'll accept you for you

(Original post by Newbie123)
Hey, it could be worse, you could look like this:

http://shechive.files.wordpress.com/...pg?w=500&h=567

To be fair, she did that to herself through plastic surgery.

[Lil08]

If you think you're ugly, then you've already made up your mind. You need to change the way you think tbh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTa14Sui7mw

[Dream.On]

im sorry you feel this way, but you have to get your confidence level UP and your insecurities DOWN. People who judge others on beauty are not even worth breathing over...

[qua]

The guys calling you ugly or insulting you aren't the guys you would want to be with anyway. They're dorks, nevermind them.