[marianmarts]

Hi,

I'm new to the Student Room... Well I have been reading discussions in the forum but have finally signed up because I would like to start a discussion about an unusual article in the Dailymail (before I am crucified for reading this paper, I'd like to clarify I am not an avid Dailymail reader)

Now 'helicopter' parents land at freshers' week, hover around the campus and even sleep in their children's dorms

Basically, more and more parents are deciding to "stay over" in their children's dorms for longer periods of time. I mean, tuition fees have increased so if your parents are paying I'd like to think they should be allowed to stay over for a few days, weeks, perhaps months?

What do you think of this? Would you let your parents live with you in your uni dorm? Do you actually know anyone who has this type of relationship with their parents?

I'm Marian by the way...

[New- Emperor]

Oh hell no this is the first chance that you got to be Independence I wouldn't want mum or dad cramping my style at uni

[Miracle Day]

I would certainly be creeped if one of my room mates had their parents over to stay..

[kittyb99]

Someone in my flat put their parent up on the floor when they came to pick them up for the weekend because it was a long drive to do all in one day. I'm not going to lie, it was bizarre, especially when we had one flatmate prone to frequently indulging in shockingly noisy sex. Awkward.

[Tahooper]

No the whole point of university is to get away from your parents.

Nobody really cares about the life experience or degree that you achieve

[New- Emperor]

the life experience is the most important lesson outside of lessons

[s.may]

Hi

I'm starting uni in September and will be staying in halls, I wouldn't dream of letting my parents stay in my room with me! I'd expect they may want to nip up a couple of times during the year to see me/how I'm getting on, like around my birthday or something for example, but that'd be it, I wouldn't have them stay over.

But what I really wanted was to tell you what I was told on an open day I went to not long ago, I found it quite funny.. One of the student residential officers was doing an accommodation talk I went to, he was saying they don't mind you having people stay over for a couple of nights but not for long periods of time. He said they once had an international student who's mum was living with him in his room, she'd been living there for two months before the university found out; when the other flat mates were asked why they hadn't reported it they said it was because the students mum was doing all of the cooking and cleaning for everyone in that flat.

Just thought I'd share that with you all

[insignificant]

When I had moved in to my accommodation a girl had arrived from Nigeria I think it was, she was 17 and so her mum decided to stay for 2 weeks to teach her how to look after herself. Now I can completely understand why she is doing that, but a. I think a hotel would be more appropriate, and b. if you don't think your child can look after itself and you need to teach it and help it out, why are you sending it to university thousands of miles away and spending thousands on it?

[StacFace]

I wouldn't do it, my parents have said they wouldn't be comfortable sleeping on the floor or in a cramped uni bedroom and if I was a parent I wouldn't do it either. I don't understand why anyone would.

Then again I don't understand why you'd treat a uni open day like a 'family outing'. The idea of a uni open day is to go, have a look round and get a feel for the place. I don't see how you can do that properly if you've got parents, grandparents, siblings etc all with you. They can always ring or email with queries about the course to make sure they 'get their moneys worth' if contributing to your fees/loan.

[Origami Bullets]

(Original post by Daily Mail)
We have seen a difference with that step up [in tuition fees] to £9,000 a year, but even with £3,000 a year there was greater involvement by parents.’

No they haven't

No one who has already started university is paying £9k a year, so I have no idea why they think that they have already seen the effects of it.

TBH I'm yet to see any evidence of helicopter parenting myself. Obviously people's parents have come at the beginning / end of the year, because there's no other way of moving that much stuff without your own car . . . but none of this helicopter lark.

[michaelhaych]

I wouldn't be comfortable sharing a bed with my parents

[ranbow99]

No way! Parents like that need to learn to let their child have some freedom and realise that they're an adult and have to look after themselves at University. It also is extremely unfair on the student, as freshers week is a time to meet as many new people as possible and to have fun and experience a new way of living. If a parent stays, then the student won't be able to experience the most out of freshers week. They'd probably get teased as well by their new flatmates for having their parents stay.

[blacklistmember]

Now 'helicopter' parents land at freshers' week

Isn't that in september?

[Y__]

Wow, Daily Mail sensationalism. Most of that article is about how parents help their children move in (ahmahgawd!) or come to uni open days with them (shock horror!). Then a sentence or two about how at some point someone stayed in their child's dorm and wanted uni exam remarks, and BAM you got a great headline! Quality journalism.

[tpxvs]

Hahah no, my parents will not be "living" or staying a single night in my room. I wouldnt mind if they popped along to say hi once or twice or something (which i cannot see happening.. as il be going about 6 hours away which would make it a 12+ hour round trip journey for them...) If they ever did happen to be in the city though, id definitely want to go grab a coffee with them somewhere


edit: negger - sorry, do you want my parents to move in to my little cardboard box and spend the next 6 years of uni with me? lol

[Chrisateen]

(Original post by insignificant)
When I had moved in to my accommodation a girl had arrived from Nigeria I think it was, she was 17 and so her mum decided to stay for 2 weeks to teach her how to look after herself. Now I can completely understand why she is doing that, but a. I think a hotel would be more appropriate, and b. if you don't think your child can look after itself and you need to teach it and help it out, why are you sending it to university thousands of miles away and spending thousands on it?

I'm not surprised. Quite normal in our culture (Nigerian too) for a mum to come and stay in thier children's halls.

In fact I have had my mum come over and stay in my room quite a number of times . Unfortunately I can't tell her no either. I could cope with her doing it once or twice but then it got to a point where she came a few times and I didn't like it at all . Eventually when my mum stayed over for a few days to help me move to my new flat she noticed that I was in a stroppy mood got mad at me and then said she wasn't coming to visit me anymore making me feel bad for not wanting her to come over . I wonder whether it crossed her mind once that staying in your child's hall is slightly embarrassing .

You guys are lucky to have parents who are overprotective and allow you to be your own person

[~ Purple Rose ~]

I used to live in halls with someone whose mum and brother stayed for two weeks, but he was an international student, so it's slightly different.

I thought most people took parents with them on open days

[GStevens]

(Original post by marianmarts)
I mean, tuition fees have increased so if your parents are paying I'd like to think they should be allowed to stay over for a few days, weeks, perhaps months?

What do you think of this? Would you let your parents live with you in your uni dorm? Do you actually know anyone who has this type of relationship with their parents?

I'm Marian by the way...

Tuition fees are for tuition and don't give over protective parents any right to live in halls over and above the normal rights of the residents to have visitors.

Having your parents stay in halls is weird and uncomfortable for the other students. It is also incredibly unfair, this is the first opportunity for many people to get out from under the rents and discover thier own abilities and independence. They don't want that curtailed by some clucking mother or dad who keeps ogling the female students. And how embarassing for the son or daughter, they may never recover socially from that parental faus pas.

[GStevens]

I've given this a bit of thought now and I can see a definite upside.
I am a mature student and the age gap between me and most of the students would make 'liaisons' inappropriate. I'm thinking that if any students are embarassed by over staying mums that they could point them in my direction and I will be happy to accomodate them for a few days at a time.

Please forward photos of your mum for approval prior to passing on my details.

Thanks.

[WhatTheFunk]

Yeah sure it would have been a right laugh, the old man would of loved it going out have a good drink in the SU would have been like a weekend at football, busmen holiday

we had a parent stay over night at the end of the year when everyone was moving out of halls because it would have been unfair to make that distance of a drive in way. He was a great guy came down the SU with us, told us all he stories had a good drink

This is a big much even for the daily mail, parents don't pay for fees, student loans cover that, and we pay them back once we are earning, plus it would be very awkward in the flat on the first day. Moving into halls is awkward enough without the added pressure of a parent watching over you