[Anonymous]

I didnt know where to post this. I need help, I'm so unhappy and feel so unfulfilled. I feel like I'm missing something but I dont know what it is. I was in a relationship where I wasnt happy for over 2 years, we broke up and I immediately started seeing a guy who treated me like crap. For whatever strange reasons I fell for him and hoped he would change, but I feel like he just used me for 4 months and then dumped me when I wanted more. I guess Im on the rebound now cause all I can think about is wanting to be in a relationship again, and I know this drives guys away. I'm so fussy and so rarely meet anyone I really like that I'm really down about the possibility of actually finding anyone again. I seem to be able to attract anyone expect the guys I really like. I feel like my lifes needs to be focussed on something other than a guy, but I dont know how to stop feeling like this. Theres nothing I want to do, I feel like I should have some direction and be focussed on a career but I just dont feel any excitement for anything. I guess I have this big ego that makes me think I'm too good for just an office job or something 'normal'. Maybe thats my problem. I dont know how to be with guys I like, I dont know whether to pursue them or sit back and wait, dont know whether to be myself (yeah I know you will all say do that, but maybe thats my problem, maybe myself needs to change to get the kinda girl I want). I thought guys would be attracted to someone ambitious and interested in pursuing a music career and stuff, but it seems normal girls who dont really do much get the guys they want, and I dont. So I dont know how to be, or what to do, and really dont know if I can deal with being hurt anymore. I just want to know what Im doing wrong. I dont care how angsty this sounds, and weird, its in my head and how I feel, and I cant tell my friends or theyll think Im really lame. I put on this front of being so happy but inside its not at all true. I also feel like I've missed out on my chance of having a group of friends at uni, its the end of first year, and I got put in a flat with internationals who didnt socialise, so I never got the chance to have a close group of friends. Yeah I have friends, but I see flats all going out and hanging together and planning to live together next year, and I was so excited for all that to happen, and it didnt. Sorry for the long post, I guess theres a lot on my mind right now. Anybody who can help would be a lifesaver. Thanks

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Anonymous)
yeah I know you will all say do that, but maybe thats my problem, maybe myself needs to change to get the kinda girl I want

Sorry I meant guy

[Anonymous]

Anyone..?

[PonchoKid]

guys arnt everything. yes we need to feel loved. but you also need time to yourself...

iv recently been hurt by a guy, and struggling, but im just loving single life, and spent today making myself feel good. iv done my nails, done a healthy face mask, dyed my hair and had my fringe cut. and spent all day listening to music and singing and dancing like a loon...

this helped me feel free and be my old self. i literally havnt thought about him...

so i suggest you take time out, and do something YOU enjoy. dont do it for anyone else, do it for you. you will feel so much better after it. and enjoy being fun and single... get with your girl mates have a DVD night and eat pizza haha

hope you feel better soon [=

[Reform]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Anyone..?

Those who believe (in the Oneness of Allah - Islamic Monotheism), and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah, Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest. (13:28)

[Anonymous]

(Original post by PonchoKid)
guys arnt everything. yes we need to feel loved. but you also need time to yourself...

iv recently been hurt by a guy, and struggling, but im just loving single life, and spent today making myself feel good. iv done my nails, done a healthy face mask, dyed my hair and had my fringe cut. and spent all day listening to music and singing and dancing like a loon...

this helped me feel free and be my old self. i literally havnt thought about him...

so i suggest you take time out, and do something YOU enjoy. dont do it for anyone else, do it for you. you will feel so much better after it. and enjoy being fun and single... get with your girl mates have a DVD night and eat pizza haha

hope you feel better soon [=

Thats actually really helpful advice, thank you I still worry that I need to change though, I just dont know what TO change..

[madders94]

Have you considered doing something like volunteering? It will have the benefits of keeping you busy whilst you do something good, looking great on your CV and the experience might get you out of the mindset that "normal" jobs are beneath you - a lot of people don't want to do office jobs
but unfortunately in this day and age we don't really get much choice

Also, take the time to pamper yourself, do the things you like to do - as another user suggested, pizza and dvds and stuff. You can go out clubbing and flirt with as many guys as you like, without worrying about your ex or getting attached to them.

I hope things work out for you soon!

[PonchoKid]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Thats actually really helpful advice, thank you I still worry that I need to change though, I just dont know what TO change..

dont change for anyone!
i have very little self esteem, i have massive trust issues, especially with the male species. and im an idiot most of the time.
yes i struggle getting guys, but i dont feel i need to change, because if they like me then they like me for me, with my good and bad bits that come with me. i wouldnt be me without them....

learn to love yourself for who you are, iv even learnt slowly to love my body more!

but have a girly day and youll start feeling good [=

[Anonymous]

(Original post by PonchoKid)
dont change for anyone!
i have very little self esteem, i have massive trust issues, especially with the male species. and im an idiot most of the time.
yes i struggle getting guys, but i dont feel i need to change, because if they like me then they like me for me, with my good and bad bits that come with me. i wouldnt be me without them....

learn to love yourself for who you are, iv even learnt slowly to love my body more!

but have a girly day and youll start feeling good [=

I am doing just that actually I have a pizza on order and am painting my nails and cutting my hair and stuf I guess I mean I think I need to change my approach to guys, like there must be some reason why people keep wanting to 'see' me but not date me.. I just dont know how to be, I get really scared of rejection I guess. Maybe I should post a new thread in relationships..?

[Anonymous]

(Original post by madders94)
Have you considered doing something like volunteering? It will have the benefits of keeping you busy whilst you do something good, looking great on your CV and the experience might get you out of the mindset that "normal" jobs are beneath you - a lot of people don't want to do office jobs
but unfortunately in this day and age we don't really get much choice

Also, take the time to pamper yourself, do the things you like to do - as another user suggested, pizza and dvds and stuff. You can go out clubbing and flirt with as many guys as you like, without worrying about your ex or getting attached to them.

I hope things work out for you soon!

Thank you I just checked out the volunteering roles at my uni and there are a couple of ones that sound cool, so I am going to apply and see what happens

[hiding12]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I didnt know where to post this. I need help, I'm so unhappy and feel so unfulfilled. I feel like I'm missing something but I dont know what it is. I was in a relationship where I wasnt happy for over 2 years, we broke up and I immediately started seeing a guy who treated me like crap. For whatever strange reasons I fell for him and hoped he would change, but I feel like he just used me for 4 months and then dumped me when I wanted more. I guess Im on the rebound now cause all I can think about is wanting to be in a relationship again, and I know this drives guys away. I'm so fussy and so rarely meet anyone I really like that I'm really down about the possibility of actually finding anyone again. I seem to be able to attract anyone expect the guys I really like. I feel like my lifes needs to be focussed on something other than a guy, but I dont know how to stop feeling like this. Theres nothing I want to do, I feel like I should have some direction and be focussed on a career but I just dont feel any excitement for anything. I guess I have this big ego that makes me think I'm too good for just an office job or something 'normal'. Maybe thats my problem. I dont know how to be with guys I like, I dont know whether to pursue them or sit back and wait, dont know whether to be myself (yeah I know you will all say do that, but maybe thats my problem, maybe myself needs to change to get the kinda girl I want). I thought guys would be attracted to someone ambitious and interested in pursuing a music career and stuff, but it seems normal girls who dont really do much get the guys they want, and I dont. So I dont know how to be, or what to do, and really dont know if I can deal with being hurt anymore. I just want to know what Im doing wrong. I dont care how angsty this sounds, and weird, its in my head and how I feel, and I cant tell my friends or theyll think Im really lame. I put on this front of being so happy but inside its not at all true. I also feel like I've missed out on my chance of having a group of friends at uni, its the end of first year, and I got put in a flat with internationals who didnt socialise, so I never got the chance to have a close group of friends. Yeah I have friends, but I see flats all going out and hanging together and planning to live together next year, and I was so excited for all that to happen, and it didnt. Sorry for the long post, I guess theres a lot on my mind right now. Anybody who can help would be a lifesaver. Thanks

Sounds like u have a lousy choice in men like a lot of girls and go for men who treat yo badly and hope you can change them, stop doing that, its pathetic, and no good for you. Open yourself up to more men who are good in different ways and stop going for hot 'bad boys.' Anyway, you don't need a man, have some time for youself and do things you enjoy

[PonchoKid]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I am doing just that actually I have a pizza on order and am painting my nails and cutting my hair and stuf I guess I mean I think I need to change my approach to guys, like there must be some reason why people keep wanting to 'see' me but not date me.. I just dont know how to be, I get really scared of rejection I guess. Maybe I should post a new thread in relationships..?

oh right, guys are just idiots, haha, they dont know what they want most of the time. i havnt ever had a serious relationship i dont think and im 20. iv had relationships, and flings, and long distance fun, but nothing more. i wouldnt worry too much. i find it so much more fun sometimes to be single, however i see where you come from, id like some nights to snuggle on the sofa or in bed with someone and feel loved...

[MrHayden]

(Original post by Reform)
Those who believe (in the Oneness of Allah - Islamic Monotheism), and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah, Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest. (13:28)

Take your religion and stuff it. This girl needs real help, not the iron age fairy tales of a Middle Eastern desert dwelling sociopathic paedophile.