[Anonymous]

Please keep anon. Ok so I have this problem, whereby I seem to be able to attract and get asked out by people I dont like, but when it comes to guys I do like, it just doesnt happen. At most they'll see me for a few months but never want me as their girlfriend. I guess I get so anxious when I like someone, cause Im scared of rejection, and I dont know how to behave with them. Sorry if this sounds strange, but I dont know i should be stand-offish and wait for them to come to me, or if I should 'chase' them. Like, initiating convos on facebook, or asking them if they want to hang out. Should I be waiting for a guy I like to start talking to me or should I start talking to him? Should I show I like him or just keep things casual? I'm such a dumbass with guys. Thanks

[Anonymous]

Definitely keep things casual.

Okay, well it depends on the individual i guess cause everyone is different but i totally understand how you feel, i'm probably in the same situation.. but from experience I think that initiating convos once in a while is okay, but if you do it all the time then the guy won't be as interested? you should keep yourself occupied and just wait for him to start the convo because it will show he wants to talk to you and you'll feel happy etc

[Paul M]

I guess you could try thinking of a reason to speak to them, on facebook as you said, and, after they answer it, drop into a conversation, I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

[Lucia.]

Make your success with those people less important, and you'll be able to relax around them enough to talk to them.

As for not attracting the guys you like, you're probably reading too much into that. You're thinking of a few examples and assuming it will be the same in every case. That isn't true.

If you are finding it hard to figure out how to attract your type, maybe make a little list (sounds silly but it helps), and then you can think whereabouts and how you can encounter this particular sort of man.