Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...

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  1. Anonymous's Avatar
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    Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    So there is a guy I'm attracted to at work its getting me annoyed because he just throws all sort ls of signals and i can not figure him out at all.

    When we first started work together he was incredibly shy and didn't talk much at all. Being the talkative type i pulled him out of his shell a little and managed to get to know him better. We talk quite a bit day to day but he constantly looks at his feet or looks at something else while he talks to me he hardly gives me any eye contact.

    Some days though he will completely blank me or not say much to me at all and it feels like he doesn't want to talk. Which obviously is annoying because he has spent time talking to me into the early hours in the morning via facebook.

    Is he just shy and thats a shy guys way of talking to people or does he like me but afraid to let other people in the workplace see that? Whats up with him? Btw he is in his mid 20s me in my early 20s if that makes a difference.
  2. Anonymous's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    Most likely shy - give him time.
  3. Anonymous's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    Meet up somewhere outside of work?

    Should help abit
  4. katyness's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    Why is everyone posting anonymously??

    OP for me, no man is shy enough to ask the girl they want out. If he's not making a move start walking.

    Ain't nobody got time for that!
  5. bloomblaze's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    (Original post by katyness)
    Why is everyone posting anonymously??

    OP for me, no man is shy enough to ask the girl they want out. If he's not making a move start walking.

    Ain't nobody got time for that!
    Why must the man be expected to always make the first move/ask the girl out?

    Why cant a girl ask a guy out? Instead of 'walking' away if he doesnt make a move.(he maybe needs her to make a move as he is shy/scared of rejection etc)
  6. fortransexual's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    katyness just discovered the reason why girls always go out with jerks.

    a lot of decent guys are shy about asking girls out.

    it feels like an intrusion plus if it's at work he could be worried it would end really badly if you said no
  7. You Failed's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    (Original post by katyness)
    OP for me, no man is shy enough to ask the girl they want out. If he's not making a move start walking.

    Ain't nobody got time for that!
    This is a load of crap. A lot of guys are too shy for that, they'll then assume because you've walked away that you didn't like them.
  8. mc1000's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    (Original post by katyness)
    Why is everyone posting anonymously??

    OP for me, no man is shy enough to ask the girl they want out.
    Yes they are. What the hell leads you to that conclusion?! Having been rejected before, I know how humiliating it is - so I never just go and ask a girl out unless I'm irrefutably certain she likes me - which is never.

    Perhaps if girls didn't mindlessly flirt just to get a guy to like them for a confidence boost, then your assertion would be more accurate.
  9. katyness's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    (Original post by bloomblaze)
    Why must the man be expected to always make the first move/ask the girl out?

    Why cant a girl ask a guy out? Instead of 'walking' away if he doesnt make a move.(he maybe needs her to make a move as he is shy/scared of rejection etc)
    He doesn't have to. There are plenty of girls who throw themselves at guys and that's fine for them. I'm a bit more traditional.

    Plus, I wouldn't like to go out with a guy who is not confident enough to take risks to pursue what he wants.


    (Original post by fortransexual)
    katyness just discovered the reason why girls always go out with jerks.

    a lot of decent guys are shy about asking girls out.

    it feels like an intrusion plus if it's at work he could be worried it would end really badly if you said no
    Well I always have this in mind and I've never gone out with a jerk.
  10. Freak Out's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    I usually find it easier to talk online. Try adding him on Facebook.
  11. katyness's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    (Original post by You Failed)
    This is a load of crap. A lot of guys are too shy for that, they'll then assume because you've walked away that you didn't like them.
    You gotta take risks sometimes.

    (Original post by mc1000)
    Yes they are. What the hell leads you to that conclusion?! Having been rejected before, I know how humiliating it is - so I never just go and ask a girl out unless I'm irrefutably certain she likes me - which is never.

    Perhaps if girls didn't mindlessly flirt just to get a guy to like them for a confidence boost, then your assertion would be more accurate.
    The worse that can happen is being rejected so why wouldn't you take the risk? It's just a 'no', it's not going to kill you.

    If men didn't get too excited over mindless flirting, we wouldn't have to worry about it.
  12. Dmon1Unlimited's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    Not that Im saying he is but he may have social/mental issues, you never know.

    I think some people may say the same about me. Talking online is much easier than talking face to face.reading your post, I don't understand what signals you are referring to
  13. mc1000's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    (Original post by katyness)
    Plus, I wouldn't like to go out with a guy who is not confident enough to take risks to pursue what he wants.

    What an irrelevant, moronic comment. Is a guy showing signs that he likes you not confidence in itself?

    It works both ways, y'know. Many guys won't take a risk if a girl 'walks away' just because he won't ask her out; that just 'confirms' to them what they feared all along - that the girl doesn't like them.

    Also, not asking a girl out =/= lack of confidence.
  14. Jorddds's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    Easy, ask him if hes doing something when youre free because you want to go watch a film or something. His reply will be telling
  15. Dmon1Unlimited's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    E
    (Original post by katyness)
    The worse that can happen is being rejected so why wouldn't you take the risk? It's just a 'no', it's not going to kill you.

    If men didn't get too excited over mindless flirting, we wouldn't have to worry about it.
    Rejection can be more damaging than you think. Not every guy is built from steel
    Hardly think its the mans problem regarding random flirting -.-
    I know people who have had a troubled friendship because of it.

    Girls shouldn't flirt with guys they're not interested in, just because they want a confidence boost like that guy said or whatever... It's misleading and wrong...if you've been doing this, then on the behalf of man-dom....stop it...
    Last edited by Dmon1Unlimited; 20-06-2012 at 04:02.
  16. mc1000's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    (Original post by katyness)
    The worse that can happen is being rejected so why wouldn't you take the risk? It's just a 'no', it's not going to kill you.
    Again... do you have any idea how humiliating it is to be rejected? If the guy *must* ask a girl out (which he shouldn't have to; it's the 21st Century), she should take half the risk herself, by making it *absolutely obvious* that she likes him - but ONLY if she likes him.

    If men didn't get too excited over mindless flirting, we wouldn't have to worry about it.
    Flirting suggests interest. What's the distinction in body language between proper flirting and mindless flirting?! There isn't any. Of course a guy will get excited if he misreads the signals and thinks you're interested in him.

    A better, more logical way of putting it: if girls didn't mindlessly flirt, guys wouldn't have to worry about rejection.

    Bottom line: girls who flirt casually are morally repulsive.
    Last edited by mc1000; 20-06-2012 at 04:02.
  17. Jorddds's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    The whole "the man should be the one to __________" approach is dated. Of course to some women theyd prefer it or its cute, but on the flipside same could be said for some men.
  18. bloomblaze's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    (Original post by katyness)
    You gotta take risks sometimes.



    The worse that can happen is being rejected so why wouldn't you take the risk? It's just a 'no', it's not going to kill you.

    If men didn't get too excited over mindless flirting, we wouldn't have to worry about it.
    have you ever asked a guy out?

    Have you ever been rejected by a guy?
    Last edited by bloomblaze; 20-06-2012 at 04:30.
  19. Krov's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    Are you ridiculously hot, OP?

    That might be a problem with shy guys.
  20. mc1000's Avatar
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    Re: Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
    (Original post by katyness)
    You gotta take risks sometimes.

    (Original post by bloomblaze)
    have you ever asked a guy out?

    Have you ever been rejected by a guy?
    Perhaps you could spell it out even more obviously - has she ever taken any risk in which her dignity is at stake? She seems to consider it necessary to do so - thus you'd expect that she has indeed taken the risk of asking a guy out, and that her argument is therefore solidly founded and not at all hypocritical. Is that right, Katyness?
    Last edited by mc1000; 20-06-2012 at 04:48.
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