Frustrating shy guy in the workplace...
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Probably doesnt fancy you.
Original post by bloomblaze
Why must the man be expected to always make the first move/ask the girl out?
Why cant a girl ask a guy out? Instead of 'walking' away if he doesnt make a move.(he maybe needs her to make a move as he is shy/scared of rejection etc)
Why cant a girl ask a guy out? Instead of 'walking' away if he doesnt make a move.(he maybe needs her to make a move as he is shy/scared of rejection etc)
Absolutely this! Talking from the other side, I act like the 'shy' guy in question around this guy I like. Those who know me will say I am the opposite of shy usually, however when it's with/about someone you do like then all normality goes out the window.
If you find him attractive and still want to get to know him (despite his shyness) then why don't you make the first move? some guys are just scared of rejection or have low self esteem perhaps and he may think you won't be interested? especially if you're more confident than him. if you don't ask, you will never know, and it's often the quiet ones you want to watch! (after all they may make better boyfriends/partners if they're not trained in 'lad' skills)
Original post by writergirl
it's often the quiet ones you want to watch! (after all they may make better boyfriends/partners if they're not trained in 'lad' skills)
My friends all say this to me as well and i've never understood it, is this a common opinion?
I always thought being surrounded by girls was a bad thing.
I dated a guy i worked with for over 2 years. He was extremely shy, i had to make the first move, and literally felt at first like he wasn't interested as he wouldn't really reciprocate. E.g. i once kissed him and he seemed alarmed and i felt like i had violated him haha.
Turns out he was just too into me, and in his words 'he has loved me since we got together and always will'. Even though we are no longer together (awkward now). But yes, he may just be shy, so go in gently, maybe drop a few more hints before lunging in like me ha.
Turns out he was just too into me, and in his words 'he has loved me since we got together and always will'. Even though we are no longer together (awkward now). But yes, he may just be shy, so go in gently, maybe drop a few more hints before lunging in like me ha.
Original post by Anonymous
So there is a guy I'm attracted to at work its getting me annoyed because he just throws all sort ls of signals and i can not figure him out at all.
When we first started work together he was incredibly shy and didn't talk much at all. Being the talkative type i pulled him out of his shell a little and managed to get to know him better. We talk quite a bit day to day but he constantly looks at his feet or looks at something else while he talks to me he hardly gives me any eye contact.
Some days though he will completely blank me or not say much to me at all and it feels like he doesn't want to talk. Which obviously is annoying because he has spent time talking to me into the early hours in the morning via facebook.
Is he just shy and thats a shy guys way of talking to people or does he like me but afraid to let other people in the workplace see that? Whats up with him? Btw he is in his mid 20s me in my early 20s if that makes a difference.
When we first started work together he was incredibly shy and didn't talk much at all. Being the talkative type i pulled him out of his shell a little and managed to get to know him better. We talk quite a bit day to day but he constantly looks at his feet or looks at something else while he talks to me he hardly gives me any eye contact.
Some days though he will completely blank me or not say much to me at all and it feels like he doesn't want to talk. Which obviously is annoying because he has spent time talking to me into the early hours in the morning via facebook.
Is he just shy and thats a shy guys way of talking to people or does he like me but afraid to let other people in the workplace see that? Whats up with him? Btw he is in his mid 20s me in my early 20s if that makes a difference.
I'm shy too, so I speak from experience. Just ask him out. If he is in to you he'll say yes. You know what he's into (movies - go cinema, he likes food - go to dinner, etc. so he will feel comfortable).
Original post by katyness
Why is everyone posting anonymously??
OP for me, no man is shy enough to ask the girl they want out. If he's not making a move start walking.
Ain't nobody got time for that!
OP for me, no man is shy enough to ask the girl they want out. If he's not making a move start walking.
Ain't nobody got time for that!
+1 for the reference
Disagree with the rest of the comment though.
Original post by katyness
Why is everyone posting anonymously??
OP for me, no man is shy enough to ask the girl they want out. If he's not making a move start walking.
Ain't nobody got time for that!
OP for me, no man is shy enough to ask the girl they want out. If he's not making a move start walking.
Ain't nobody got time for that!
Coming from a girl who thinks that men and women should pursue each other equally (i.e. me) it's actually not surprising that Katyness takes this view when there are films and books like 'He's Just Not That Into You', which, if you give them a chance, in fact are actually quite compelling in their argument. They pretty much convince you that if a guy is not shimmying up the drainpipe to your bedroom window to serenade you, he just does not give a **** about you, and girlfriend, you just gotta move on cos there will be other guys out there who will realise just how fabulous you really are etc etc etc. Yes, it really is like this, and yes, surprisingly, it sucks you in to its mindset.
A positive of adopting this mindset is that it gives you your own closure. You'll never wonder whether Bob did actually like you because you've convinced yourself that if he really had, he'd have asked you out for coffee or something, no matter how shy or lacking in confidence he is. These books convince you that if a guy wants you that bad he will do anything. I'm not saying that's necessarily true - I'm just stating that this seems to be the attitude women are expected to take these days.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
So there is a guy I'm attracted to at work its getting me annoyed because he just throws all sort ls of signals and i can not figure him out at all.
When we first started work together he was incredibly shy and didn't talk much at all. Being the talkative type i pulled him out of his shell a little and managed to get to know him better. We talk quite a bit day to day but he constantly looks at his feet or looks at something else while he talks to me he hardly gives me any eye contact.
Some days though he will completely blank me or not say much to me at all and it feels like he doesn't want to talk. Which obviously is annoying because he has spent time talking to me into the early hours in the morning via facebook.
Is he just shy and thats a shy guys way of talking to people or does he like me but afraid to let other people in the workplace see that? Whats up with him? Btw he is in his mid 20s me in my early 20s if that makes a difference.
When we first started work together he was incredibly shy and didn't talk much at all. Being the talkative type i pulled him out of his shell a little and managed to get to know him better. We talk quite a bit day to day but he constantly looks at his feet or looks at something else while he talks to me he hardly gives me any eye contact.
Some days though he will completely blank me or not say much to me at all and it feels like he doesn't want to talk. Which obviously is annoying because he has spent time talking to me into the early hours in the morning via facebook.
Is he just shy and thats a shy guys way of talking to people or does he like me but afraid to let other people in the workplace see that? Whats up with him? Btw he is in his mid 20s me in my early 20s if that makes a difference.
You are probably just imagining he is attracted to you. Move on.
Original post by KrishanC93
+1 for the reference
Disagree with the rest of the comment though.
Disagree with the rest of the comment though.
Thanks
And fair enough for not agreeing.
Original post by Climbontoyourseahorse
Coming from a girl who thinks that men and women should pursue each other equally (i.e. me) it's actually not surprising that Katyness takes this view when there are films and books like 'He's Just Not That Into You', which, if you give them a chance, in fact are actually quite compelling in their argument. They pretty much convince you that if a guy is not shimmying up the drainpipe to your bedroom window to serenade you, he just does not give a **** about you, and girlfriend, you just gotta move on cos there will be other guys out there who will realise just how fabulous you really are etc etc etc. Yes, it really is like this, and yes, surprisingly, it sucks you in to its mindset.
A positive of adopting this mindset is that it gives you your own closure. You'll never wonder whether Bob did actually like you because you've convinced yourself that if he really had, he'd have asked you out for coffee or something, no matter how shy or lacking in confidence he is. These books convince you that if a guy wants you that bad he will do anything. I'm not saying that's necessarily true - I'm just stating that this seems to be the attitude women are expected to take these days.
A positive of adopting this mindset is that it gives you your own closure. You'll never wonder whether Bob did actually like you because you've convinced yourself that if he really had, he'd have asked you out for coffee or something, no matter how shy or lacking in confidence he is. These books convince you that if a guy wants you that bad he will do anything. I'm not saying that's necessarily true - I'm just stating that this seems to be the attitude women are expected to take these days.
I started reading your comment with a certain critique until the reference to the book. I really liked that book (not so much the film - which I really didn't want to watch since I had read the book first) and I don't know if you heard of the book "Why Men Love Bitches".
Anyway, I really like how you actually get it and you don't seem to be only judging from a distance. Like I have mentioned on this thread, I have been through rough patches with relationships too but I have never gone wrong with my mindset. I know it's not accurate to most occasions because not all men are the same but I simply don't believe in abdicating from my rules and morals to please others.
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