[almosttrue]

I dont know why but im annoyed with regards to my life basically it seems that im doing everything 'right' but have still never had a boyfriend and have never had a group of friends to go clubbing with. Ive only ever had 2 friends and ive known them since i was about 11, in a few weeks though they are both moving abroad so that will leave me with none lol. Im nearly 28 and feel daft for never having had a boyfriend, sex or the usual things that people start when they are much younger than me.

Im studying nursing and have a job at the side of this also. Ive not made friends at uni as i commuted and there was only 7 in my group they had arguments etc (i wasnt involved i was the quiet one) as a result cliques formed and im not in any of those cliques.(sp?). At work they just see me as a collegue i talk to people my age and start conversations but they never actually turn into friends. Guys just blank me and tend not to want to know me theres only much older men who seem interested in having a conversation with me.

Since ive never had a social life i spend most evenings at my sports club (ive not made friends there either after 10 years!) i work out and keep fit thats my main hobby running and climbing. Im not the best of looking im quite plain, tomboyish but its still annoying how im working on a career and look after myself yet I dont seem to get anything back from society. My friend had a baby to a one night stand bascically gets her rent paid for her, doesnt even keep her house clean (i do like her just saying truth) yet has managed to attracted a man with a stable career and has gone livng with him. I want to make my own life and earn my own way but still cant attract a guy.

My family are laughing because ive no friends at all now but it just gets me down. I didnt make many friends at school i was really quiet but ive found the more i open up the more i show myself up with my dopy ways. A woman at my sports club was talking with me about nursing i was telling her and she looked serious and said 'im not being funny but if i walked on a ward and saw you there i would just turn round and walk out' She was serious as she knows what im like, i make people laugh with my odd dopy ways but im never taken seriously.

Its weird but im kind of happy how i am ive always preferred to go shopping and do stuff on my own its just i feel like a freak.

[Tizz]

Try online dating.

And if you have a birthday or something to celebrate in the near future...why not invite work mates out for a drink to get to know them better. They'll appreciate you making the effort!

[infairverona]

If you're still at uni, perhaps join a club/society and throw yourself into it? You said you enjoy running/climbing, is there not a society for that which you could join? They will have socials etc and I'm sure you'd make friends. With things like that, if you're shy, I often find you have to fake confidence for a bit and then after a while it will come more naturally to you.

[odkfn]

(Original post by almosttrue)
I dont know why but im annoyed with regards to my life basically it seems that im doing everything 'right' but have still never had a boyfriend and have never had a group of friends to go clubbing with. Ive only ever had 2 friends and ive known them since i was about 11, in a few weeks though they are both moving abroad so that will leave me with none lol. Im nearly 28 and feel daft for never having had a boyfriend, sex or the usual things that people start when they are much younger than me.

Im studying nursing and have a job at the side of this also. Ive not made friends at uni as i commuted and there was only 7 in my group they had arguments etc (i wasnt involved i was the quiet one) as a result cliques formed and im not in any of those cliques.(sp?). At work they just see me as a collegue i talk to people my age and start conversations but they never actually turn into friends. Guys just blank me and tend not to want to know me theres only much older men who seem interested in having a conversation with me.

Since ive never had a social life i spend most evenings at my sports club (ive not made friends there either after 10 years!) i work out and keep fit thats my main hobby running and climbing. Im not the best of looking im quite plain, tomboyish but its still annoying how im working on a career and look after myself yet I dont seem to get anything back from society. My friend had a baby to a one night stand bascically gets her rent paid for her, doesnt even keep her house clean (i do like her just saying truth) yet has managed to attracted a man with a stable career and has gone livng with him. I want to make my own life and earn my own way but still cant attract a guy.

My family are laughing because ive no friends at all now but it just gets me down. I didnt make many friends at school i was really quiet but ive found the more i open up the more i show myself up with my dopy ways. A woman at my sports club was talking with me about nursing i was telling her and she looked serious and said 'im not being funny but if i walked on a ward and saw you there i would just turn round and walk out' She was serious as she knows what im like, i make people laugh with my odd dopy ways but im never taken seriously.

Its weird but im kind of happy how i am ive always preferred to go shopping and do stuff on my own its just i feel like a freak.

I wouldnt feel like a freak, you sound very normal! Maybe too normal though, going by you saying you're the quiet one and that you don't get involved..maybe you're too vanilla? I'm not trying to be mean, but perhaps you blend into the background too easily as you don't make your opinions known so people think you're boring? Maybe try to be more opinionated?

[almosttrue]

(Original post by infairverona)
If you're still at uni, perhaps join a club/society and throw yourself into it? You said you enjoy running/climbing, is there not a society for that which you could join? They will have socials etc and I'm sure you'd make friends. With things like that, if you're shy, I often find you have to fake confidence for a bit and then after a while it will come more naturally to you.

well i want to join netball but the training is on wednesday afternoons. I have a 17 week nursing placement comming up so wont be able to make it. I could go for the next 3 weeks but theres no point.

[infairverona]

(Original post by almosttrue)
well i want to join netball but the training is on wednesday afternoons. I have a 17 week nursing placement comming up so wont be able to make it. I could go for the next 3 weeks but theres no point.

Find something else that you can go to?

[Prince94]

(Original post by almosttrue)
I dont know why but im annoyed with regards to my life basically it seems that im doing everything 'right' but have still never had a boyfriend and have never had a group of friends to go clubbing with. Ive only ever had 2 friends and ive known them since i was about 11, in a few weeks though they are both moving abroad so that will leave me with none lol. Im nearly 28 and feel daft for never having had a boyfriend, sex or the usual things that people start when they are much younger than me.

Im studying nursing and have a job at the side of this also. Ive not made friends at uni as i commuted and there was only 7 in my group they had arguments etc (i wasnt involved i was the quiet one) as a result cliques formed and im not in any of those cliques.(sp?). At work they just see me as a collegue i talk to people my age and start conversations but they never actually turn into friends. Guys just blank me and tend not to want to know me theres only much older men who seem interested in having a conversation with me.

Since ive never had a social life i spend most evenings at my sports club (ive not made friends there either after 10 years!) i work out and keep fit thats my main hobby running and climbing. Im not the best of looking im quite plain, tomboyish but its still annoying how im working on a career and look after myself yet I dont seem to get anything back from society. My friend had a baby to a one night stand bascically gets her rent paid for her, doesnt even keep her house clean (i do like her just saying truth) yet has managed to attracted a man with a stable career and has gone livng with him. I want to make my own life and earn my own way but still cant attract a guy.

My family are laughing because ive no friends at all now but it just gets me down. I didnt make many friends at school i was really quiet but ive found the more i open up the more i show myself up with my dopy ways. A woman at my sports club was talking with me about nursing i was telling her and she looked serious and said 'im not being funny but if i walked on a ward and saw you there i would just turn round and walk out' She was serious as she knows what im like, i make people laugh with my odd dopy ways but im never taken seriously.

Its weird but im kind of happy how i am ive always preferred to go shopping and do stuff on my own its just i feel like a freak.

You're not a freak. If it makes you feel any better, i'm in the same situation. I'm a loner, now accepting it as part of me. I'm done with actively seeking and stressing over not having any friends or girlfriends, because most at this age just wants to play the 'social game' as I call it - game-playing, lying, manipulating, using and hurting, doing anything just to improve one's social status and satisfy the ego. I haven't got time for it. I'm just going to let things happen by themselves for a little while, hopefully i'll get friends and a social life through that route. I know i'm the laughing stock of the family, but you know what, I don't care. I'll get it when i'm ready

I was really quiet and shy and so I didn't have a large quantity of friends (only a few in Primary and Secondary School) but the one or two I did have were 'quality' and compared to them, many of the so-called "friends" I have met since don't quite measure up (alot were fng leeches trying to masquerade as friends).

But you know what, we're too young to be stressing over this. We've got the rest of life to sort this stuff out, so it just makes sense to enjoy the moment. Who knows, maybe later in life you may never even have time to yourself because you could have a family of your own to look after.. So forget about it and let it sort itself out, you don't want to look back later in life and only see you stressing about not having friends, but instead someone who made do and still enjoyed her life. If you don't have friends now it's not the end of the world. Not everyone is going to have the same life structure. You're not doing anything wrong, you're just being you, and that's all you should be doing

[almosttrue]

(Original post by Prince94)
You're not a freak. If it makes you feel any better, i'm in the same situation. I'm a loner, now accepting it as part of me. I'm done with actively seeking and stressing over not having any friends or girlfriends, because most at this age just wants to play the 'social game' as I call it - game-playing, lying, manipulating, using and hurting, doing anything just to improve one's social status and satisfy the ego. I haven't got time for it. I'm just going to let things happen by themselves for a little while, hopefully i'll get friends and a social life through that route. I know i'm the laughing stock of the family, but you know what, I don't care. I'll get it when i'm ready

I was really quiet and shy and so I didn't have a large quantity of friends (only a few in Primary and Secondary School) but the one or two I did have were 'quality' and compared to them, many of the so-called "friends" I have met since don't quite measure up (alot were fng leeches trying to masquerade as friends).

But you know what, we're too young to be stressing over this. We've got the rest of life to sort this stuff out, so it just makes sense to enjoy the moment. Who knows, maybe later in life you may never even have time to yourself because you could have a family of your own to look after.. So forget about it and let it sort itself out, you don't want to look back later in life and only see you stressing about not having friends, but instead someone who made do and still enjoyed her life. If you don't have friends now it's not the end of the world. Not everyone is going to have the same life structure. You're not doing anything wrong, you're just being you, and that's all you should be doing

Thanks, it makes sense though you are only 17 arn't you? Im heading for 28 you dont need to worry as you are still in your teens. Im more concerned about what a man will think (if i ever get one) of me never having a relationship and being inexperienced.

[Anonymous]

Im 21 and feel like this. Im at Uni and all i have done is try and make friends. But people just seem to dislike me wherever i go. I dont really know why.

I have ''friends'' but only in a very loose sense of the term- i cant imagine staying in touch with any of them. To me, summer is a good example of who my real friends are- not seeing them for 3 months and see who stays in touch. Oh and surprise surprise none of them bother to see how i am or facebook me or anything. Its always me who contacts them first.

I dont understand it, Im friendly, smiley, caring and put other people first! I like going out- meals, cinema, bowling, clubbing, pubs, anything!! I love being social. I just have no one to really be social with

It gets me down a lot. I wish i just had 1 friend at least who i could do things with- i dont even have that!

[barnetbuzzzz]

Poor you
I can empathise with this as I know what it's like. I don't have friends and have to rely on the internet to find dates. I suggest you try finding someone online as well

[Prince94]

(Original post by almosttrue)
Thanks, it makes sense though you are only 17 arn't you? Im heading for 28 you dont need to worry as you are still in your teens. Im more concerned about what a man will think (if i ever get one) of me never having a relationship and being inexperienced.

I believe you will find someone who's understanding enough (if they're not you shouldn't be with them). Despite the age gap I think i'll stick to my argument. You're not a freak no matter what others say. Don't let anyone make you think otherwise.

Well, take care my friend

[Classical Liberal]

(Original post by almosttrue)
Thanks, it makes sense though you are only 17 arn't you? Im heading for 28 you dont need to worry as you are still in your teens. Im more concerned about what a man will think (if i ever get one) of me never having a relationship and being inexperienced.

You should not listen to that guy. Complete fool. Forgoodnessake take control of your life.

[Classical Liberal]

(Original post by almosttrue)
I dont know why but im annoyed with regards to my life basically it seems that im doing everything 'right' but have still never had a boyfriend and have never had a group of friends to go clubbing with. Ive only ever had 2 friends and ive known them since i was about 11, in a few weeks though they are both moving abroad so that will leave me with none lol. Im nearly 28 and feel daft for never having had a boyfriend, sex or the usual things that people start when they are much younger than me.

This is obviously bothering you. You seem like a well rounded gal, but you are definitely not the best version of you that you can be. I know this for sure, because if you were, you would not be posting on TSR about your life.

Since ive never had a social life i spend most evenings at my sports club (ive not made friends there either after 10 years!)

What sports do you play there? Do you go into competitions? Do you play any team sports? Do you play any sports where you physically contact people?

Team sports are great. Play some of those, you can actually bond with people and have a social and what not. Competitions are another good one because you will having something to talk about with people. Martial arts and the like a great for becoming more confident about yourself generally, and being more confident around men

i work out and keep fit thats my main hobby running and climbing. Im not the best of looking im quite plain, tomboyish but its still annoying how im working on a career and look after myself yet I dont seem to get anything back from society.

Im sorry but girls do not come out of the whom looking tomboyish, you are presenting yourself in a tomboyish fashion. You need to change your look, stop being frumpy and like a guy. Thankgoodness you are fit, so you have a sexy body to work with

But dress yourself up a bit. Wear some nice clothes that show yourself off. Get your makeup to make you look feminine.

You are "plain" and "tomboyish" because you have made yourself that. Just stop doing it. Work on yourself, make yourself a version of yourself that you think a guy would like.

My friend had a baby to a one night stand bascically gets her rent paid for her, doesnt even keep her house clean (i do like her just saying truth) yet has managed to attracted a man with a stable career and has gone livng with him. I want to make my own life and earn my own way but still cant attract a guy.

You are understandably quite envious of her.

My family are laughing because ive no friends at all now but it just gets me down.

Well it ****ing should, you seem to be drifting along. Does your family understand this void that you have in your life?

Its weird but im kind of happy how i am ive always preferred to go shopping and do stuff on my own its just i feel like a freak.

Improve yourself dammit. Don't slide along like this. You are obviously quite upset but you can do something about it. Just continually work at making yourself a better version of you.

Your life will not come into place overnight, it will take time to improve yourself and be the best version of yourself that you can be.

Just don't sit back and think everything will be alright. It won't. You need to be in control of your life and put it in the direction of the place you really want to be. Don't worry about what a guy will think about you not having been in a relationship, as long as you look nice and are cool (which you seem to be), the guy will probably like that you are inexperienced as he will not have to meet expectations that you might have got from another partner.

[almosttrue]

(Original post by Classical Liberal)
This is obviously bothering you. You seem like a well rounded gal, but you are definitely not the best version of you that you can be. I know this for sure, because if you were, you would not be posting on TSR about your life.



What sports do you play there? Do you go into competitions? Do you play any team sports? Do you play any sports where you physically contact people?

Team sports are great. Play some of those, you can actually bond with people and have a social and what not. Competitions are another good one because you will having something to talk about with people. Martial arts and the like a great for becoming more confident about yourself generally, and being more confident around men



Im sorry but girls do not come out of the whom looking tomboyish, you are presenting yourself in a tomboyish fashion. You need to change your look, stop being frumpy and like a guy. Thankgoodness you are fit, so you have a sexy body to work with

But dress yourself up a bit. Wear some nice clothes that show yourself off. Get your makeup to make you look feminine.

You are "plain" and "tomboyish" because you have made yourself that. Just stop doing it. Work on yourself, make yourself a version of yourself that you think a guy would like.



You are understandably quite envious of her.



Well it ****ing should, you seem to be drifting along. Does your family understand this void that you have in your life?



Improve yourself dammit. Don't slide along like this. You are obviously quite upset but you can do something about it. Just continually work at making yourself a better version of you.

Your life will not come into place overnight, it will take time to improve yourself and be the best version of yourself that you can be.

Just don't sit back and think everything will be alright. It won't. You need to be in control of your life and put it in the direction of the place you really want to be. Don't worry about what a guy will think about you not having been in a relationship, as long as you look nice and are cool (which you seem to be), the guy will probably like that you are inexperienced as he will not have to meet expectations that you might have got from another partner.

Thanks, i'l take this on board but the thing is im either wearing uniform for work or else im in sports gear. I wear a bit of make up for work but with sports as soon as i start im sweaty which makes my hair a curly sweaty mess so look bad anyway i cant really wear make up when my face gets sweaty. I come home from work then get changed straight into sports gear. At weekends i dont really go out (apart from sports) so theres no point getting dressed up. The only times it make sense to make an effort with make up is at work (though nurses arn't allowed too much make up/jewellry its not practical). Mybe when i shopping (on my own) i could dress up a bit but i dont talk to/meet anyone so i think whats the point. Some girls look good naturally but for me it takes a bit of effort just to look average but im either at work or doing sports so i think whats the point.

[almosttrue]

Also My family say im like this because i choose to be but Ive alwasy thought its cause i couldnt get friends. Im not sure which it is to be honest maybe a bit of both. I have been invited out occasionally but have not wanted to miss my workout so have declined. But then there are times when im bored as hell at home and when i wish i had a friend to go out with.

[Classical Liberal]

(Original post by almosttrue)
Thanks, i'l take this on board but the thing is im either wearing uniform for work or else im in sports gear. I wear a bit of make up for work but with sports as soon as i start im sweaty which makes my hair a curly sweaty mess so look bad anyway i cant really wear make up when my face gets sweaty. I come home from work then get changed straight into sports gear. At weekends i dont really go out (apart from sports) so theres no point getting dressed up. The only times it make sense to make an effort with make up is at work (though nurses arn't allowed too much make up/jewellry its not practical). Mybe when i shopping (on my own) i could dress up a bit but i dont talk to/meet anyone so i think whats the point. Some girls look good naturally but for me it takes a bit of effort just to look average but im either at work or doing sports so i think whats the point.

Sorry, but it sounds like you must be in pretty fantastic shape. It is very likely that with a bit of make up you look well above the "average" woman who is desperately trying to hide her fat face face and thighs.

Definitely dress up nicely at any opportunity. Also you need to start doing things where you meet and talk to people outside of work. Some kind of team sport or a class that men take would be a good idea. Personally I think a ****ing gold mine for single women is the poker table in casinos, or something similar. Such a great place for a single girls and guys to meet each other and be able to have a chat and the like. Unlike a club which is absolutely hopeless. But that is my quirky little insight.

Also what sport are you playing?

Also My family say im like this because i choose to be but Ive alwasy thought its cause i couldnt get friends. Im not sure which it is to be honest maybe a bit of both. I have been invited out occasionally but have not wanted to miss my workout so have declined. But then there are times when im bored as hell at home and when i wish i had a friend to go out with.

It seems to me like you are using sports as something to fill the void in your life.

You seem like a really nice gal. A lot of people in your situation would become bitchy and start hating on men or women or be really angry and the like. But you seem to be well balanced, it would be a tragedy if you did not make some guy a lucky man.

[almosttrue]

(Original post by Classical Liberal)
Sorry, but it sounds like you must be in pretty fantastic shape. It is very likely that with a bit of make up you look well above the "average" woman who is desperately trying to hide her fat face face and thighs.

Definitely dress up nicely at any opportunity. Also you need to start doing things where you meet and talk to people outside of work. Some kind of team sport or a class that men take would be a good idea. Personally I think a ****ing gold mine for single women is the poker table in casinos, or something similar. Such a great place for a single girls and guys to meet each other and be able to have a chat and the like. Unlike a club which is absolutely hopeless. But that is my quirky little insight.

Also what sport are you playing?



It seems to me like you are using sports as something to fill the void in your life.

You seem like a really nice gal. A lot of people in your situation would become bitchy and start hating on men or women or be really angry and the like. But you seem to be well balanced, it would be a tragedy if you did not make some guy a lucky man.

I do a few sports climbing, running and just working out. You say most women would become angry but why would they, if they preferred their own company, didnt have a social circle they wouldnt get to know lads and so wouldnt meet them either.

[Anonymous]

you say when you spoke to people they never became friends... just ask one of the people you talked to go on a night out with you, after that you will definitly become friends, make it clear your a nice person and want to be friends with them and youll be fine.

[Millie228]

First of all, attracting men is not the most complicated thing in the world, you just need to know what to do. There are three sides to it: making yourself attractive (men are visual), making yourself approachable (be available and be someone they feel like they can walk up to) and having a pleasant and positive personality, someone they feel comfortable being around. In the same way that men cannot expect to get anywhere if they never make a move on a woman, you cannot expect men to approach you or want to date you without having anything to offer.
Your attractiveness can be improved, although it requires time and effort. If you are genuinely willing to read about this and work at it, read these posts:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/201...trollable.html
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/201...e-you-are.html

Since men don't approach or ask you out on dates, I say attractiveness is what you can work on first.
As for being social, this is a good post:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/201...be-social.html

I think you can also join volunteer work if you have the time, like others say take the initiative to ask someone from work/school out on a drink.