[Anonymous]

I'm not sure why im posting this but I think it is because the situation made me very uncomfortable (probably completely wrongly, but it did).

I work in quite an expensive suit shop and there was a middle aged man who I would say was of Indian origin. He called me over where immediately I could tell he was a bit weird (just his general demeanour, how he was acting)- picking up shirts, asking me which ones I preferred- I told him it was his choice as its personal preference. He kept pushing me to answer so I chose, and then he sat there asking me what size the shirt was (it was a small and he was clearly a large/extra large) so i asked him what size he was (we put 1 of everything on display and then go out the back to help the customer). He said he didnt know so i went and guessed and brought him back the right size. He then started moaning about the buttons being funny colours to which I said I could give him some money off for. I was with him for about an hour (several other customers got neglected because of the attention he was demanding basically). He bought the shirt with some money off telling me ''he only bought it because of me being so lovely and smiley''. He then started asking my name, he asked me to put some trousers aside for him and he would come in tomorrow but only if I served him. I said I didnt work because I only work Mondays and Wednesdays. So he said he would come back on Monday on the basis that I served him. Then he just sat there watching me and I was like just feeling awkward, and then I was just like ''okay, thanks.....bye.....'' and he was like ''bye Marie'' just staring in my eyes and i felt so weirded out.

Then when hed gone all my colleagues were like ''what the hell!'' they thought he was really weird. And then he came back 2 hours later and asked for me, they said i was busy, but he insisted i served him and then he just sat there again with all these ties this time asking me to choose and I told him what i liked but at the end of the day its his preference. And then he was asking for more money off and just looking at me like ''come on Marie- It is me!!'' as if he was special to me or something and ive just come home feeling really uncomfortable and upset about the whole thing.

And now hes said hes coming back in on Monday to buy something else, again, he wants me to serve him.

Its really difficult to explain, and im probably just being petty, but the whole thing made me feel uncomfortable. And he refused to be served by anyone else. So i cant just ask one of the lads to do it for me because i tried that today and he insisted on having me.

Im always friendly and at first i thought he was weird, then we got chatting so i assumed he was just friendly, so i lost my initial judgement and decided to chat back and be friendly, and then he just got uncomfortable- asking my name, when i worked, he even asked me to meet him at the store so he could buy the shirts when he'd taken more money out, even though I said we close at 6. And just the way he looked at me made me uncomfortable.

I feel a bit upset relaying it out now, and im sure theres no need, but i feel uncomfortable. Can you reassure me im over reacting please!

[beccafairy]

i would be really uncomfortable too, wow...
but surely if he keeps coming in refusing to buy things unless you serve him, especially asking for money off, he would be at the very least advised to leave by another staff member?

[yothi5]

I doubt he will come back.

[Mr Dangermouse]

From my experience, with attractive young female sales assistants this is far from a rarity. He's probably a lonely older guy

[Nick1sHere]

He wants to bone you

[Cherriesxo]

I think he likes you but it's a bit inappropriate because he's like middle aged. At the end of the day he's just buying things, if he likes you, he'll keep buying things...which is good for the shop. If he does anything else wrong, tell your boss, or whoever is in charge

[concubine]

Someone's hoping for a gold digger.

[internetguru]

HAHA this is awesome "come on marie it is me how long have we known each other huh"

[Kage]

I think he is just lonely yeah, and feels a connection with you, as you were so nice to him.
I doubt he's one of those guys that will come in litterally every Monday and Wednesday to see you, as he is at the shop for a reason, which is to buy things.

I honestly do just think he wants a bit of attention.

[KrishanC93]

well it seems like he's got nothing better to do, he did come by twice afterall!

Talk to a manager or supervisor to let them know that you have a stalking customer and next time, if things get way too weird just ask your manager to deal with it. You don't deserve to be uncomfortable while you work. But that's just what I would do.....assuming that happened to me

[HannahtheFauves]

(Original post by Mr Dangermouse)
From my experience, with attractive young female sales assistants this is far from a rarity. He's probably a lonely older guy

I agree, unfortunately lonely old men seem to form immense attachments to female staff, they don't understand it's our job to be nice to them despite our personal opinions of them.

The best thing to do is to try and laugh it off but if you find it this uncomfortable try and make sure there's a male member of staff present or nearby, they can't really refuse if you cite safety reasons. If it gets too bad arrange for someone to summon you away whenever he comes in, at the end of the day he will have to give up waiting for you.

And don't worry it's not petty, anyone in retail will sympathise

[Pinkool14]

Maybe u should tell your boss/ manager that you feel uncomfortable with that customer, and definitely get another staff to handle him.
Or tell that guy straight to his face, that if he carries on acting that way, you will have to report him. (and also say you are not interested in guys!)

[SpringNicht]

It's happened to me before, a man would come in to the opticians I work at every sunday (only day I work) and request me to serve him specifically. He'd refuse to see anyone else even for stuff I'm not qualified to do :/

In the end I told my manager he was creeping me out and it was dealt with.

[bhogs001]

Dude. As an indian, i know that that indians love bargains. And if you are the only one to give a bargain, i dont see any harm in him always asking for you.

[insignificant]

Can your work not bar him from the shop?

[Iram Noor]

If he comes back tell your collegues to say you quit, doubt it'd work though. He seems a little desperate to me

[sliceofcake]

Considering how one customer came up to my till with his friend, looked me up and down and said "ooh, I'd 'bench press' her" and added another leery look, this isn't particularly shocking.
Then there was the customer that held up a massive line just so that it worked out that I would be the one serving him.
It can throw you a bit when customers are a bit weird or more attached to you. If I was you, I'd make sure that at least one of your co-workers are with you when you finish work just because I'd be worried about him waiting there, wearing the whole suit you've put together for him. You just have to keep a friendly face, he's not doing ACTUAL harm, he isn't threatening or anything. Maybe when another customer needs seeing to, just let this strange customer know that you'll be right back and see to the other one. I know you're supposed to focus attention but a) he needs to know you aren't his personal shopper and b) there's a chance you're losing business here and it doesn't help that he keeps wanting money off.
Also, I don't know if you have a boyfriend or not but if the subject comes up, you let him know that you do.

[marky--mark]

(Original post by bhogs001)
Dude. As an indian, i know that that indians love bargains. And if you are the only one to give a bargain, i dont see any harm in him always asking for you.

Dude, everyone loves bargains. That's not really that relevant.

It does sound like he's being a bit weird though. If he does keep coming back, I'd probably end up refusing to serve him, and tell him that he's making you feel uncomfortable.

[Ryan_94]

He most certainly is creepy.

I'd be firm and standoffish with him if he comes back in.

[rippedbanana]

i will do the devil's advocate.

isnt this the reason why managers hire young female shop assistants, or hire you over a woman say middleaged and non-caucassian? they follow their superficial management theory that young white sells. if you work in abercrombie or hollister, you would expect this wouldnt you.

you are not overreacting, you just havent learned how to handle situations like this. some women dont realize that them chatting like crazy in office annoys co-workers (and they think they can get away with it), some men dont realize that some casual comments about physical appearance could make some selfconscious and inexperienced women feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. if you are or look like an indian, people constantly ask where you are from. and almost all successful indian businessmen know what to say to that (they most certainly say they are of indian origin - there is no point arguing here) and they dont take those comments personally. you just have to learn to live with it. believe me, everyone goes through this everyday.