Hey there Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

how would you deal with a customer like this? feel a bit upset.

Announcements Posted on
Post on TSR and win a prize! Find out more... 10-04-2014
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    this is ridiculous. Im actually sitting here almost in tears. At the time, me and my colleagues were laughing about the weirdness of the situation, but now im at home its playing on my mind and its made me really sad. Ive seen him in the shop before but hes never bought anything. And i wasnt the one giving him discounts because i kept saying no. He was just like ''Marie i want you to serve me''.

    I told my manager i was uncomfortable and would he take over if it happens again and he said no.

    Im dreading work on monday because if he comes in then thats a long time for him to remember me

    the stupid thing is, im not even attactive!!
    • 5 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by HannahtheFauves)
    I agree, unfortunately lonely old men seem to form immense attachments to female staff, they don't understand it's our job to be nice to them despite our personal opinions of them.

    The best thing to do is to try and laugh it off but if you find it this uncomfortable try and make sure there's a male member of staff present or nearby, they can't really refuse if you cite safety reasons. If it gets too bad arrange for someone to summon you away whenever he comes in, at the end of the day he will have to give up waiting for you.

    And don't worry it's not petty, anyone in retail will sympathise
    Exactly. Poor old guy probably misconstrued the OP being nice to him, I doubt he's used to attention.

    Happened at my work, this guy would come in every week at the same time and spend like 10 minutes waiting on a particular assistant, and eventually handed her a note with his number.


    My cousin told me the exact same thing happened at her work.
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    If he is spending all this money in your shop than your boss should give you a cut of the profits. He's only spending money because of you.
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Tell the boss
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    I work in a shop and I know how uncomfortable things like that can be sometimes. Just for future reference, I know you were being nice and everything, but I wouldn't have told him what days I worked because then it gives him the opportunity to come in again.

    My mum had a similar situation - she's a nurse and had a man come in who was acting strangely and started asking for kisses because it was his birthday (which was silly as she had his notes in front of her and it obviously wasn't his birthday). He started making appointments with her all the time even when he didn't need them, and then he started following her around supermarkets and looking through shop windows at her. Since then she let her colleagues know and now he can't get appointments with her. I suggest you do a similar thing - let your work colleagues know what he looks like and get them to make excuses when he comes into ther shop. For example you're at home ill or you're on your break or something. Definitely let your manager know and they can maybe get him banned. It doesn't matter if he refuses to be served by anyone else, just get the, to refuse. It's your safety that is most important rather than sales, remember. If you start seeing him away from your work and you suspect he is stalking you, please contact the police and stress how much the situation is affecting you so hopefully they can do something about it.

    Good luck and stay safe
    X
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    this is ridiculous. Im actually sitting here almost in tears. At the time, me and my colleagues were laughing about the weirdness of the situation, but now im at home its playing on my mind and its made me really sad. Ive seen him in the shop before but hes never bought anything. And i wasnt the one giving him discounts because i kept saying no. He was just like ''Marie i want you to serve me''.

    I told my manager i was uncomfortable and would he take over if it happens again and he said no.

    Im dreading work on monday because if he comes in then thats a long time for him to remember me

    the stupid thing is, im not even attactive!!
    Jesus... your manager actually refused!? even when you told him it made you feel weird? wow what a dick tbh. I think you should talk to your manager again and use words like 'stalkery' 'sexual harrassment' etc so what if they aren't exactly true- they alert your manager to the seriousness of your feelings and he won't want to deal with that kind of **** so he might sort it. Agreeing with the whole 'be really off with him' thing.

    Him being a 'lonely' man doesn't excuse him for that behaviour. So it is right for you to feel weird and sad, for some stranger? That isn't part of your job. Some people are saying 'deal with it' but if YOU feel weird about it then thats all that matters, at the end of the day, YOU are the one in the situation
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by rippedbanana)
    i will do the devil's advocate.

    isnt this the reason why managers hire young female shop assistants, or hire you over a woman say middleaged and non-caucassian? they follow their superficial management theory that young white sells. if you work in abercrombie or hollister, you would expect this wouldnt you.

    you are not overreacting, you just havent learned how to handle situations like this. some women dont realize that them chatting like crazy in office annoys co-workers (and they think they can get away with it), some men dont realize that some casual comments about physical appearance could make some selfconscious and inexperienced women feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. if you are or look like an indian, people constantly ask where you are from. and almost all successful indian businessmen know what to say to that (they most certainly say they are of indian origin - there is no point arguing here) and they dont take those comments personally. you just have to learn to live with it. believe me, everyone goes through this everyday.
    I know you're playing devils advocate here, but as a male I'm afraid you don't really understand the gravity of the situation. You don't have to worry as much about a strange man following you home in case he assaults you in some way. As a female I can relate to this and I certainly don't see how she should learn to live with it as this man sounds potentially dangerous with his unhealthy obsession with her.
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    this is ridiculous. Im actually sitting here almost in tears. At the time, me and my colleagues were laughing about the weirdness of the situation, but now im at home its playing on my mind and its made me really sad. Ive seen him in the shop before but hes never bought anything. And i wasnt the one giving him discounts because i kept saying no. He was just like ''Marie i want you to serve me''.

    I told my manager i was uncomfortable and would he take over if it happens again and he said no.

    Im dreading work on monday because if he comes in then thats a long time for him to remember me

    the stupid thing is, im not even attactive!!
    If the situation is really that distressing for you, don't tell your manager he made you "feel uncomfortable", like the previous poster said use strong and serious words - even exaggerate to make him know how you really feel. Also, it might be useful to let him know that if anything happens because of this man, the manager will be partly responsible as he knowingly didn't do anything to prevent it.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    i feel like im over reacting now.

    But if he comes in on Monday- fine Ill let it pass, but if i see him again i think i will say something officially to my manager.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    What if he was just trying to be friendly and ive overhyped it all ?
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    this is ridiculous. Im actually sitting here almost in tears. At the time, me and my colleagues were laughing about the weirdness of the situation, but now im at home its playing on my mind and its made me really sad.
    I understand how this is making you feel uncomfortable but try not to get too upset over it. I have dealt with a lot of people like this in my shop and sometimes it is hard to deal with although they are probably just being friendly. I was literally called off my shop floor by the manager before because I couldn't get rid of a lady that was adamant "I help her shop and meet her at the till to serve her" (she also knew my name and remembered me from the previous Christmas when I had served her =/).

    In my position we are not expected to spend excessive time with one customer and especially not neglect others in the process. Whenever another customer approaches you, use this as an excuse to get away from this guy and help that customer. Sorry if I sound like a muppet but here are a few points.....

    - If he stands chatting explain you have a lot of work to get on with
    - Try and limit your response sometimes they get bored and wonder off lol
    - Just give your opinion on his choices its fine, if he buys it even better!
    - Never barter price with a customer, if he is trying to get discounts off items that are not damaged explain that the price is not negotiable. You will get yourself in trouble!
    - If you can handle it just serve him, then he will be gone in no time.
    - Speak to management, if you really feel that uncomfortable and he keeps coming in a manager should help the situation.

    Your managers have the power to escort him from the building if any inappropriate behavior is present so try not to worry, you are perfectly safe.

    If you want to chat about anything pm me I seem to attract nutters all the time!
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Lol, he seems like he is after you for a discount, Seriously it sounds like he wants you because you give him money off :lol:
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by smithsmith)
    Lol, he seems like he is after you for a discount, Seriously it sounds like he wants you because you give him money off :lol:
    Maybe. Thats what my manager said.
    But I only gave him a discount once because of the damage (it was quite noticeable).

    The other stuff it was me who stood my ground saying no discount, even when he nagged and nagged and i kept saying no. Then my manager butt in saying they could give some free stuff but no discount!?
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Maybe. Thats what my manager said.
    But I only gave him a discount once because of the damage (it was quite noticeable).

    The other stuff it was me who stood my ground saying no discount, even when he nagged and nagged and i kept saying no. Then my manager butt in saying they could give some free stuff but no discount!?
    If your manager says such a thing again, or just involves himself at all in a way that doesn't help you just tell the customer you will be back with him in a moment and ask your manager for a private word. Then you can tell him how uncomfortable you feel right now and he has made the situation worse and if he's okay with what he just said then he is to serve the customer himself, you're going to go do some other work. It sounds kind of rude but what can he do? You've already talked to him about it.

    I think you've got a good plan for waiting until you see how Monday goes before talking to your manager seriously.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    What a sado
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by bhogs001)
    Dude. As an indian, i know that that indians love bargains. And if you are the only one to give a bargain, i dont see any harm in him always asking for you.
    Hah, I was totally thinking this. I'm trying to let my flat so I can get out of my contract, and this Indian (I think) guy came and was trying to bargain the rent down really hard even though we were saying that we weren't the ones charging the rent and we'd just have to pay some of his rent for him if we agreed. And when we said we wanted to talk about it and get back to him, he refused to leave and said he'd stay as long as it took to get a number from us. Then he tried to tell us we couldn't get anyone else in to see the flat. :wtf:
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    You're not being petty - I was in a similar situation to you (although I volunteered at a charity shop) and this particular customer would come in every Saturday, the only day I worked and do some of the things you mentioned in your post!
    It was a really uncomfortable situation and got to the point where I'd actually hide out back waiting for him to leave the shop.
    Eventually he stopped coming in. So don't worry! It's probably just a phase.


    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    I work in a restaurant/bar with lots of elderly men eyeing me up all the time. One really did get attached to me once - soon as I said I had a boyfriend and that I think the elderly man had loads of ladies lining up for him and I had too much competition on my hands, he was satisfied. Some are lonely; some want a bit of banter; and for older men to compliment a young girl on her looks is apparently more acceptable than a same age man.

    Just treat him with respect, joke about "how many shirts do you want Sir!? I can't believe you need this many ties!?"

    Your first mistake was to tell him when you worked. He'd have took that as an invite, not just mere information!
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Kink)
    I work in a restaurant/bar with lots of elderly men eyeing me up all the time. One really did get attached to me once - soon as I said I had a boyfriend and that I think the elderly man had loads of ladies lining up for him and I had too much competition on my hands, he was satisfied. Some are lonely; some want a bit of banter; and for older men to compliment a young girl on her looks is apparently more acceptable than a same age man.

    Just treat him with respect, joke about "how many shirts do you want Sir!? I can't believe you need this many ties!?"

    Your first mistake was to tell him when you worked. He'd have took that as an invite, not just mere information!
    yes but he doesnt come across as an old man, he comes across as weird. I knew he was going to be weird before i served him. Obviously its hard to describe on TSR, but just his whole demeanour. The way he looked and acted and talked.

    And i guarantee if i did the last bit you suggested he would think i was flirting!
    • 15 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Be grateful you're not a shot girl... I did that job for a while and there was this little old indian man that used to come to the club where I worked and follow me round trying to sniff and stroke my hair! Luckily my manager banned him from coming in anymore.

Reply

Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?

    this is what you'll be called on TSR

  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?

    never shared and never spammed

  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. By completing the slider below you agree to The Student Room's terms & conditions and site rules

  2. Slide the button to the right to create your account

    Slide to join now Processing…

    You don't slide that way? No problem.

Updated: July 2, 2012
Article updates
Reputation gems:
You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.