[Anonymous]

My ex left me for another guy or so it seems. We had been together for 4 and a bit years, each other's best friends and everything.

She suddenly decides she doesn't really want to be together anymore and turns into somebody I don't really understand or know. Her 'friend', who she told me was gay is now suddenly taking her on days out in his car and for meals and they are having 'film' time.

She isn't exactly being cautious either after splashing pictures all over fb etc.

Maybe he is just a gay friend, but it's pretty obvious what the case is, they're ****ing.


It's kind of harsh, just two weeks after such a long relationship to do stuff like that, but anyway how do I get over the humiliation? Everybody will see the photos of them out etc and it's obviously embarrassing for me who suddenly has no gf and now she is with somebody else?

I feel worthless...

[SugarPuffs]

Try your best to move on, delete her off facebook, bbm, etc; she obviously didn't care all that much about the relationship to be honest if she's hooking up with other guys only a few days/weeks after you broke up. Or maybe this is her way of dealing with the break up, by taking her mind off you by spending time with her friends and having rebound sex.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by SugarPuffs)
Try your best to move on, delete her off facebook, bbm, etc; she obviously didn't care all that much about the relationship to be honest if she's hooking up with other guys only a few days/weeks after you broke up. Or maybe this is her way of dealing with the break up, by taking her mind off you by spending time with her friends and having rebound sex.

Thanks for your response. Have you any advice on how to try not and feel embarrassed? It's a bit of a sucker punch and when I speak to people I knwo they'll know sort of thing...

[Dark Horse]

(Original post by Anonymous)
My ex left me for another guy or so it seems. We had been together for 4 and a bit years, each other's best friends and everything.

She suddenly decides she doesn't really want to be together anymore and turns into somebody I don't really understand or know. Her 'friend', who she told me was gay is now suddenly taking her on days out in his car and for meals and they are having 'film' time.

She isn't exactly being cautious either after splashing pictures all over fb etc.

Maybe he is just a gay friend, but it's pretty obvious what the case is, they're ****ing.


It's kind of harsh, just two weeks after such a long relationship to do stuff like that, but anyway how do I get over the humiliation? Everybody will see the photos of them out etc and it's obviously embarrassing for me who suddenly has no gf and now she is with somebody else?

I feel worthless...

No one moves on or changes that quick. She lost interest during the relationship and probably cheated on you towards the end of it.

[Nadin532]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Have you any advice on how to try not and feel embarrassed?

This is an incredibly harsh thing to do to you, I really don't think that you should feel embarrased about it. If she just walked out of the relationship and into the arms of the guy you refer to in the original post then it seems almost like she had been planning it. I would suggest that you focus on the fact that she screwed you over big time, and if the topic comes up in conversation then talk about it from that perspective. I believe most people will be sympathetic towards you, so no need to feel embarrassed

Hope that helps

[sekret]

(Original post by Dark Horse)
No one moves on or changes that quick. She lost interest during the relationship and probably cheated on you towards the end of it.

You are beyond stupid.
People do quite easily change that quickly. My ex broke up with me and i was happy and ready to start seeing people 2 weeks later. People do things in different ways.
And the cheating comment.. well that doesnt even deserve a response

[jenny7]

You should move on. Now that she doesn't care, why should you feel embarrassed? She's the one who should be embarrassed. But I think you'll feel better after you starting dating someone else.

[Dark Horse]

(Original post by sekret)
You are beyond stupid.
People do quite easily change that quickly. My ex broke up with me and i was happy and ready to start seeing people 2 weeks later. People do things in different ways.
And the cheating comment.. well that doesnt even deserve a response

A rebound is a different situation altogether.

[sekret]

(Original post by Dark Horse)
A rebound is a different situation altogether.

I don't know if you mean the OP's situation or my situation. Either way, neither said that it was a rebound.

[Mrx123]

time to move on

[SillyMilly]

I totally sympathises ith you its a horrific horrible feeling, its very very difficult and hurts alot because you dont understand why or when they changed,you have the view of your gf that you knew and spent 4 years with, but then you see whats she is doing and it clearly isint the women you fell in love with.

I found out my ex was cheating on me via facebook (deleted it all now!) when I asked him who this girl was he told me just a friend, then he broke up with me and literally that night uploaded photos of them getting with one another etc.

The only thing you can do is to realise the person she pretended to be to you was fake, she has no remorse and as people have said above usually in their heads they have ended up the relationship before physically doing it so when you do part she doesnt feel any pain. You must delete her of facebook, all photos of her because believe me i spent months torturing myself looking at this new girl trying to work out what she had that i didnt, thinking if i dyed my hair blonde like her if i dressed like her blah blah would he want me, as soon as I deleted him im over him i have no idea what he is doing./ who he is seeing and its great I suppose the term 'what you dont know , cant hurt you' is the most relevent arguement for getting rid of her fb.

You will not just get over her, it will be hard,the first month is hell you feel **** and like nobody understands but then slowly you start to do things alone and discover stuff about yourself, take up a new sport, go to the gym get a passion which you can spend alot of time doing try to make new friends, going out clubbing, dinner, films the pain wont vanish it will numb however. Time is the best healer

Before you know it you wont be thinking about her everyday,she wont be the first thing you think of or the last person you think before you go to sleep you may think about her occasionally but you will feel numb. I feel totally impartial about my ex, at first i was despearte for him back, then i hated his guts and spent weeks fuming and feeling so angry, then i felt sad it was over and then i just felt nothing if friends tell me hes seeing another girl, or hes going to the club we are going to I feel nothing, i think if i bumped into him thn id feel a bit ****e but i wouldnt be too fussed. However its taken me a good 6/7 months to get to this stage .


Its a bloody long road to recovery and hurts alot but as long as you have supportive, friends and family and the will power to get over her you will good luck

[pinkangelgirl]

(Original post by Anonymous)
My ex left me for another guy or so it seems. We had been together for 4 and a bit years, each other's best friends and everything.

She suddenly decides she doesn't really want to be together anymore and turns into somebody I don't really understand or know. Her 'friend', who she told me was gay is now suddenly taking her on days out in his car and for meals and they are having 'film' time.

She isn't exactly being cautious either after splashing pictures all over fb etc.

Maybe he is just a gay friend, but it's pretty obvious what the case is, they're ****ing.


It's kind of harsh, just two weeks after such a long relationship to do stuff like that, but anyway how do I get over the humiliation? Everybody will see the photos of them out etc and it's obviously embarrassing for me who suddenly has no gf and now she is with somebody else?

I feel worthless...

Right. Listen up.

She is a slut and a bitch and totally unworthy of your time. You loved her, you had a very long relationship. You are probably still in love with 'her'- except the girl you loved does not exist anymore. She is a new person- a slut and a bitch and inconsiderate. A very similar thing happened to me, except mine was days after we broke up- all over facebook etc with a new girl even when we'd been in the pub with all his mates a few days before.

Let me tell you, you must just realise she is scum and totally unworthy of you. Delete her, delete any mutual ''friends'' on facebook that arent your friend (e.g. i had a lot of my boyfriends mates added).

You dont need to 'understand or know' this new girl. It doesnt matter. The more you think and dwell on her the more you will sink lower and lower into a pit of gloom. Yes, you need to cry, and grieve and think what if, what if, but only for a limited time- i would say a maximum of 2 weeks doing this.You must not contact her. After 2 weeks, get a new hobby (for me i started a new dance) do something you enjoy. Socialise more.

The best way you can get over this ''humiliation'' is to act totally care free about it. Dont talk about it to any mutual friends, dont act bothered. If anyone mentions it just say ''thats nice''. Dont try and out do her, or score points. Leave her to it. You will look the much better person.

I cant emphasise it enough- when someone breaks up with us all we want is to convince ourseleves that we will get them back. But you have to TRUST ME that thinking about getting them back is not the way forward- it is healthy for a little while because it helps in the healing process, but after a few weeks of clinging to this 'hope', you must then drop it and realise you dont want her back. Why would you want to be with someone that could treat you like a turd? You wouldnt.

See it as a huge learning curve and an experience in life.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by SillyMilly)
I totally sympathises ith you its a horrific horrible feeling, its very very difficult and hurts alot because you dont understand why or when they changed,you have the view of your gf that you knew and spent 4 years with, but then you see whats she is doing and it clearly isint the women you fell in love with.

I found out my ex was cheating on me via facebook (deleted it all now!) when I asked him who this girl was he told me just a friend, then he broke up with me and literally that night uploaded photos of them getting with one another etc.

The only thing you can do is to realise the person she pretended to be to you was fake, she has no remorse and as people have said above usually in their heads they have ended up the relationship before physically doing it so when you do part she doesnt feel any pain. You must delete her of facebook, all photos of her because believe me i spent months torturing myself looking at this new girl trying to work out what she had that i didnt, thinking if i dyed my hair blonde like her if i dressed like her blah blah would he want me, as soon as I deleted him im over him i have no idea what he is doing./ who he is seeing and its great I suppose the term 'what you dont know , cant hurt you' is the most relevent arguement for getting rid of her fb.

You will not just get over her, it will be hard,the first month is hell you feel **** and like nobody understands but then slowly you start to do things alone and discover stuff about yourself, take up a new sport, go to the gym get a passion which you can spend alot of time doing try to make new friends, going out clubbing, dinner, films the pain wont vanish it will numb however. Time is the best healer

Before you know it you wont be thinking about her everyday,she wont be the first thing you think of or the last person you think before you go to sleep you may think about her occasionally but you will feel numb. I feel totally impartial about my ex, at first i was despearte for him back, then i hated his guts and spent weeks fuming and feeling so angry, then i felt sad it was over and then i just felt nothing if friends tell me hes seeing another girl, or hes going to the club we are going to I feel nothing, i think if i bumped into him thn id feel a bit ****e but i wouldnt be too fussed. However its taken me a good 6/7 months to get to this stage .


Its a bloody long road to recovery and hurts alot but as long as you have supportive, friends and family and the will power to get over her you will good luck

(Original post by pinkangelgirl)
Right. Listen up.

She is a slut and a bitch and totally unworthy of your time. You loved her, you had a very long relationship. You are probably still in love with 'her'- except the girl you loved does not exist anymore. She is a new person- a slut and a bitch and inconsiderate. A very similar thing happened to me, except mine was days after we broke up- all over facebook etc with a new girl even when we'd been in the pub with all his mates a few days before.

Let me tell you, you must just realise she is scum and totally unworthy of you. Delete her, delete any mutual ''friends'' on facebook that arent your friend (e.g. i had a lot of my boyfriends mates added).

You dont need to 'understand or know' this new girl. It doesnt matter. The more you think and dwell on her the more you will sink lower and lower into a pit of gloom. Yes, you need to cry, and grieve and think what if, what if, but only for a limited time- i would say a maximum of 2 weeks doing this.You must not contact her. After 2 weeks, get a new hobby (for me i started a new dance) do something you enjoy. Socialise more.

The best way you can get over this ''humiliation'' is to act totally care free about it. Dont talk about it to any mutual friends, dont act bothered. If anyone mentions it just say ''thats nice''. Dont try and out do her, or score points. Leave her to it. You will look the much better person.

I cant emphasise it enough- when someone breaks up with us all we want is to convince ourseleves that we will get them back. But you have to TRUST ME that thinking about getting them back is not the way forward- it is healthy for a little while because it helps in the healing process, but after a few weeks of clinging to this 'hope', you must then drop it and realise you dont want her back. Why would you want to be with someone that could treat you like a turd? You wouldnt.

See it as a huge learning curve and an experience in life.

Thank you so much to everybody, but these two answers specifically.

I've come to realise I'm better than what she has become and there is no point loving somebody who isn't the same person you want to love. I can do better, I will do better.

[pinkangelgirl]

thats good to hear OP!

You CAN and WILL do better. But for now, the best thing you can do is just enjoy being by yourself. Dont rush into anything to prove a point to anyone- not even to prove anything to yourself. Just take each day as it comes and enjoy yourself

[Bellissima]

the thing is... however hard and upsetting it it... you're over. she can do what she likes. i'm really sorry that happened to you especially as you'd been together so long... but you need to try and move on. delete both her and this guy off of facebook. you need to move on. don't obsess over it, which will be all too easy if you keep her on facebook. i'd also recommend hiding all pictures on your laptop so you don't get tempted to look at them until you're ready to look back on them and think "that was a good part of my life, but it's over and i am 100% fine with that". delete her number so you aren't tempted by sending those horrible drunk/2am texts that you ALWAYS regret in the morning.


you need to remember people will not be laughing at you. if people care enough to talk about it they will be sad/sympathise... they won't be laughing. there's no need to be humilated.

[kristol90]

Release the tape.

[Anonymous]

Have been in a similar situation, was with my ex boyfriend for nearly 4 years and then he ended it, quite suddenly, and then 2 weeks after, I ended up finding out he was "getting close" with this girl he'd been texting a lot towards the end of our relationship, and within a month was officially with her.

It takes time to get over, I spent months being angry with both of them, and it wasn't worth it. It's good you've realised you're better than her. My main advice would be to cut off/ have minimal contact with her (I didn't do this, and I regret it- would have speeded the healing process up.) and don't rush into anything new, just to prove any sort of point- I also did this, and the guy was a complete dick and I regret the relationship.

And as one of the other posters has already said, you don't need to feel humiliated (easier said than done, I know.) Your friends won't be laughing at you, they'll be symathising with you and are probably angry with her for the way she has treated you.

Hope you feel better soon.