The Student Room Group

Guy friend won't leave me alone!

So, basically, as the title says. I have a guy friend who won't leave me alone.

I do like him. But as a friend and nothing more. He texts me every night and every day. I don't mind a bit of texting. But not every single day/evening! Then sometimes he wants to talk to me on the phone and I always make an excuse up, it's not that I don't want to talk to him, it's that I'm afraid of what he might say. He's always wanting to meet up with me and do stuff with me too, and I'm always making excuses because while he is ok to hang out with I don't want to see him every day. He just won't give up though! He's like let's go out for dinner, or come round and I'll cook for you. And the other day I said I was going out with friends and he just sort of invited himself along.

I don't know what to do! He's a really nice guy and I don't want to just ignore him because I like his friendship and I don't want to hurt/annoy him by not replying. But on the other hand it's sooooo annoying!!

It's not like he hasn't got any friends. I know he has lots of friends. So why me?!

He sometimes says weird stuff too (by text) like 'I'd do anything for you' and it just makes me feel awkward.

Howww do I get him to back off?! I seriously feel like just ignoring him. But I don't want to do that because that's not nice.
Reply 1
And I forgot to say. I am meeting up with him tomorrow. I felt guilty for making so many excuses so I agreed we could hang out! But I'm worried in case he says or does anything weird... How can I stop this?
Ah I feel for you as I had the same problem too (although this guy asked me out twice, even though I'd hinted hard to him and told mutual friends that I wasn't interested :/ ) Perhaps casually drop into the conversation that theres some guy who you like the look of, and you're going to attempt to get his attention? I told my friend that I was seeing someone on a casual basis who I liked and he did back off slightly.

Alternatively just ignore and if he asks you out, just say that, while he's a fantastic friend, you just don't see him that way. As long as you;re nice about it and don't humiliate the poor guy, it should be fine. Me and my friend are still really close mates :smile: Good luck!
Reply 3
you have got to let him know where he stands with you , it looks like he likes you ( allot ) and if you don't like him back then this situation isn't good for either of you. you need to think about how you are behaving when your with him, do you find him flattering and are flirting slightly, if so stop. Maybe hinting about how he is always been such a good friend , or how you enjoy seeing him as a friend, or maybe talking about some other guy you like (do this nicely)... if he doesn't start to get the message then its probably best that you tell him that you don't like him romantically , and if his intentions are to become your boyfriend he is wrong and this wont happen. ??
Reply 4
Sounds a bit desperate; tell him straight up otherwise he'll just keep annoying you to point where you do eventually ignore him.
Reply 5
Thank you!
I do worry that he thinks I'm flirting with him. I am quite a... jokey person and would act the same way around a girl, but I guess from his perspective me joking around could be seen as flirting maybe?

Ok, I will try mentioning another guy. This is going to be awkward.
Maybe something like...
One day he asks what I'm doing tonight. I mention I'm going out with some guy.
How do I not be insensitive about this.
Facebook is a powerful tool here.

Youre going to need someone to pose with you....a guy mate who knows the score.

Go out any friday/sat night get snapped having a sneeky snog. tags on bookface....Flurry of messages thrown between walls. (Trust me, he will be taking a peak at what you put on his wall too)

then change your relationship status to in a relationship with said person.

Thats your problem ended.

a week later. Set your relationship status to hidden.
Reply 7
Original post by Sam Walters
Facebook is a powerful tool here.

Youre going to need someone to pose with you....a guy mate who knows the score.

Go out any friday/sat night get snapped having a sneeky snog. tags on bookface....Flurry of messages thrown between walls. (Trust me, he will be taking a peak at what you put on his wall too)

then change your relationship status to in a relationship with said person.

Thats your problem ended.

a week later. Set your relationship status to hidden.


That's soo mean! And a lot of hassle.

I like the idea... If I didn't actually care about the guy haha. But I'll keep this idea in mind for maybe another person lol.
Original post by Anonymous
That's soo mean! And a lot of hassle.

I like the idea... If I didn't actually care about the guy haha. But I'll keep this idea in mind for maybe another person lol.


If you found a guy you liked the same thing would happen anyway.

Sometimes youve just gotta do it.

Trust me, ive been in that lads position. He probably doesnt know hes doing it.
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you!
I do worry that he thinks I'm flirting with him. I am quite a... jokey person and would act the same way around a girl, but I guess from his perspective me joking around could be seen as flirting maybe?

Ok, I will try mentioning another guy. This is going to be awkward.
Maybe something like...
One day he asks what I'm doing tonight. I mention I'm going out with some guy.
How do I not be insensitive about this.


Just mention it in a completely off-the-cuff manner. Just pretend to be completely oblivious to the fact he likes you in that way. If he still doesn't get the message, time to just be honest and tell him straight that you don't think of him that way and whilst you appreciate his friendship, you find his approach far too full on.

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