[Anonymous]

I'm not some social recluse with a total lack of companionship; I have a group of very good friends for whom I'm extremely grateful, but it still took me a few months to actually insert myself (in a totally awesome way ) into their lives. I just wallowed in self-pity for a month of two after starting at my current school, before attatching myself to people who, while they were friendly, weren't really the sort of people with whom I could see myself spending time with for long.

My current group of friends became sort of acustomed to me after a few months of being sat by them in certain lessons, and I slowly became part of the group.

On the other hand, a girl who started at the school at the same time as myself had made a good group of friends on the first day. I supposed that girls could usually just be more sociable, but I still thought to myself when I realised this "what the fudge?"

Now I'm about to start sixth form, and I'd really prefer not to go through the same period of sullenness, considering that I'm supposed to be more mature and capable of functioning within social environments (not that I'm not once I've grown accustomed to a situation). It's merely that I have no idea how to start conversations with people I've never met; I remember thinking after a few lessons with them that my currently best friends sounded like incredibly intelligent and fun people, whom I could definitely like, before proceeding to not talk to them for weeks

Once I get to know people I'm fine, but how the hell does one start just start at a new school and begin making/looking for friends? I imagine it might be easier starting sixth form considering quite a few other people will probably be starting at a fresh school also, but I'm not sure to what extent that will help.

Advice?

[Ryan_94]

Sixth form will be different as loads of people will be looking to make new friends, not just you. Every year at college people start talking to me an then we sit together, go to lunch, etc. and then we're eventually friends.

[Fishbulb25]

I've always wondered this too. There weren't too many new people at the start of 6th form but a few of us stuck together (we'd been put together in a maths class) and I gradually became friends with the people I sat with in lessons. I found it quite hard at first because i'm the type of person who's really quiet with someone I don't know very well but as you say, I like to 'insert myself (in a totally awesome way ) into their lives'. It seems to be the more outgoing, non-shy people who make friends quickly. What was difficult, was how there were already quite tight friendship groups... There's plenty to talk about during 6th form (usually the workload/confusion of homework) and it's better because the people doing your subjects are probably there because they really like the subject so don't worry, you'll find your people

[Anonymous]

I think if you're not extremely outgoing and can't easily adapt to the school culture immediately, it can be hard for both guys and girls.

What can help:
-SMILE
(apparently my neutral face comes across as "I'm better than you and I'd really rather be anywhere but here," but really I'm probably thinking "oh, what's for dinner" or "hurray! I found a quarter in my pocket)
-if you think someone is even vaguely interesting, just say hi and start a conversation with them. If they are in the same class as you, at the beginning of the yr, ask them what they've heard about the teacher/prof, do they like the subject, what other classes are they taking
-on a second note, don't discount people because of what you assume about them, don't assume the guy with piercings and tatoos all over them is anti-social, don't assume the pretty girl is a bitch, be nice to everybody, and give everybody a chance
-when you do start that 1st conversation, be prepared for the usual questions, like where you're from, what you do, etc... They may seem like boring/pointless intrusive questions, but how else do people build a rapport. You can't just jump in and ask if someone likes the exact same obscure band as you the 1st time you talk, that would be weird. These questions give you a foundation to start those conversations next time.

Okay, that's all for now. Hopefully this'll help you at least a tiny bit with a new school. Good luck!

[Also Known As]

I think if you're not extremely outgoing and can't easily adapt to the school culture immediately, it can be hard for both guys and girls.

These are just general tips, but I'm sure you can adapt them to your situation.

What can help:
-SMILE
(apparently my neutral face comes across as "I'm better than you and I'd really rather be anywhere but here," but really I'm probably thinking "oh, what's for dinner" or "hurray! I found a quarter in my pocket")

-if you think someone is even vaguely interesting, just say hi and start a conversation with them. If they are in the same class as you, at the beginning of the yr, ask them what they've heard about the teacher/prof, do they like the subject, what other classes are they taking

-on a second note, don't discount people because of what you assume about them, don't assume the guy with piercings and tatoos all over them is anti-social, don't assume the pretty girl is a bitch, be nice to everybody, and give everybody a chance

-when you do start that 1st conversation, be prepared for the usual questions, like where you're from, what you do, etc... They may seem like boring/pointless intrusive questions, but how else do people build a rapport. You can't just jump in and ask if someone likes the exact same obscure band as you the 1st time you talk, that would be weird. These questions give you a foundation to start those conversations next time.

Okay, that's all for now. Hopefully this'll help you at least a tiny bit with a new school. Good luck!

[Also Known As]

Oops! Sorry about that, I'm anon #2. Don't know how to delete one of my posts!

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Also Known As)
Oops! Sorry about that, I'm anon #2. Don't know how to delete one of my posts!

Don't worry, you've been very reassuring, thank you

[Safiya122]

I'm in the same position as you on the sense that I'm about to start sixth form too.
Judging with the advice I've been given I'd say that you'll really have to push your boundaries and actually talk to one person at least in all your classes in your first couple of weeks. These first couple of weeks are essential on the fact that this is the time people will judge you and preferably even label you which will be stuck on to you till the day you leave. No pressure intended there..I'd just say that you're not going to be the only one who's nervous and is unsure about how to make friends, however talk to somebody. Has a casual conversation with somebody and don't be afraid to ask questions. You'll get into your comfort zone after a minute and the people you're talking to will as well.

[officiallyTania]

im sort of in the same position because my friends that i have made in sixth form 2 years ago are now going off to uni in september while i am staying behind retaking the year -.- now i have to try and fit in to the year group below -.-

my advice is just smile and talk to people near you- on your table or something. introduce yourself and tell them a bit about you