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Educated sex is not good but DO REALLY want to have sex deep inside

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    Hi,
    I never thought abt this before but I guess I should now.

    I am a 19 female. I have been educated by my family that sex is not a good thing to think about when I am young and when I am studying.

    I actually never got a proper conversation with my mum about sexual issues. We all tried to avoid it by all course.

    I hang out with friends who are educated in the same way. Therefore, we are all clueless.

    I think I started thinking about sex when I turned 19. I started enjoying watching porn where girls are touched by guys. I am not into anything with an actual intercourse action. I think I just want to be touched and feel that I can have sex.... Because of all the years being ' compressed', I think that is why I really do want to try having sex or sexual actions with guys.

    I do not think my thought was healthy since to me sex is about trust and love. However, I keep thinking about it because I want to do something that I was told not to....

    Again, I never kissed a guy. It is like I dont want to be in any relationship further than just being friend. My girl friends told me I am 'too friendly' for a guy to be my boyfriend. Yes they are right, I never allow the thought of loving a guy friend to get into my head as I always want to be a good friend...

    When I do fall in love with a guy which I always try not to, I started thinking about having sex, kissing him and I feel so guilty!!!! I know it doesnt make sense!!! I feel like I should keep my thoughts of him as innocent as possible!!!!! This sounds so unhealthy but i cant help it!!

    I feel guilty thinking about kissing a guy, even dreaming about kiss a guy, about being touched, about having sex with a guy I love truly. But deep down in me, I do want these things with a guy.

    I know there are my guy friends who are interested in having sex and sexual actions with me, but not into me as a person. I am scared one day soon I will just go out and say yes to them as I just want to try the feeling of having sex and being touch by a guy.

    I even thought I would get drunk and ask a guy to take my virginity which sounds so silly... I know virginity is something you give not ask someone to take...
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    There's nothing wrong with wanting to be loved. It's the best feeling in the world, if you trust the other guy

    I wouldn't worry about it, I'm sure you'll know when you've met the 'right' guy
    • 28 followers
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,
    I never thought abt this before but I guess I should now.

    I am a 19 female. I have been educated by my family that sex is not a good thing to think about when I am young and when I am studying.

    I actually never got a proper conversation with my mum about sexual issues. We all tried to avoid it by all course.

    I hang out with friends who are educated in the same way. Therefore, we are all clueless.

    I think I started thinking about sex when I turned 19. I started enjoying watching porn where girls are touched by guys. I am not into anything with an actual intercourse action. I think I just want to be touched and feel that I can have sex.... Because of all the years being ' compressed', I think that is why I really do want to try having sex or sexual actions with guys.

    I do not think my thought was healthy since to me sex is about trust and love. However, I keep thinking about it because I want to do something that I was told not to....

    Again, I never kissed a guy. It is like I dont want to be in any relationship further than just being friend. My girl friends told me I am 'too friendly' for a guy to be my boyfriend. Yes they are right, I never allow the thought of loving a guy friend to get into my head as I always want to be a good friend...

    When I do fall in love with a guy which I always try not to, I started thinking about having sex, kissing him and I feel so guilty!!!! I know it doesnt make sense!!! I feel like I should keep my thoughts of him as innocent as possible!!!!! This sounds so unhealthy but i cant help it!!

    I feel guilty thinking about kissing a guy, even dreaming about kiss a guy, about being touched, about having sex with a guy I love truly. But deep down in me, I do want these things with a guy.

    I know there are my guy friends who are interested in having sex and sexual actions with me, but not into me as a person. I am scared one day soon I will just go out and say yes to them as I just want to try the feeling of having sex and being touch by a guy.

    I even thought I would get drunk and ask a guy to take my virginity which sounds so silly... I know virginity is something you give not ask someone to take...
    What the hell did I just read?

    Just relax, and relax some more.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Tootles)
    What the hell did I just read?

    Just relax, and relax some more.
    Erm... You probably dont understand as you have not been brought up in the same culture... It is not about stressing out or I need to relax. I really think if I keep going like this, I will have issues with my future sexual health
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,
    I never thought abt this before but I guess I should now.

    I am a 19 female. I have been educated by my family that sex is not a good thing to think about when I am young and when I am studying.
    Your family is stupid.

    I actually never got a proper conversation with my mum about sexual issues. We all tried to avoid it by all course.
    She might well be completely clueless.

    I think I started thinking about sex when I turned 19. I started enjoying watching porn where girls are touched by guys. I am not into anything with an actual intercourse action. I think I just want to be touched and feel that I can have sex.... Because of all the years being ' compressed', I think that is why I really do want to try having sex or sexual actions with guys.
    I suspect you are kidding yourself.

    Again, I never kissed a guy. It is like I dont want to be in any relationship further than just being friend. My girl friends told me I am 'too friendly' for a guy to be my boyfriend. Yes they are right, I never allow the thought of loving a guy friend to get into my head as I always want to be a good friend...
    Your girls friends are probably very ignorant. How many guys have they been with? Your friends are completely wrong. Sounds to me like you would make a great girlfriend, you are just all confused at the moment because you have been taught silly things.

    When I do fall in love with a guy which I always try not to, I started thinking about having sex, kissing him and I feel so guilty!!!! I know it doesnt make sense!!! I feel like I should keep my thoughts of him as innocent as possible!!!!! This sounds so unhealthy but i cant help it!!
    Sorry - You are a young woman. You are going to have these thoughts. And there is nothing wrong with it. It is very healthy. You should not feel at all guilty. You have done nothing wrong.

    I would be worried about you if you did not have these dirty thoughts.

    I know there are my guy friends who are interested in having sex and sexual actions with me, but not into me as a person. I am scared one day soon I will just go out and say yes to them as I just want to try the feeling of having sex and being touch by a guy.
    Yeah. If you carry on along the path you are following of trying suppress yourself it is going to end badly. Don't be scared to get into a relationship with a guy, and then make sure he is a good guy, and getting going from there.

    I even thought I would get drunk and ask a guy to take my virginity which sounds so silly... I know virginity is something you give not ask someone to take...
    What? Where did you get that idea from? Ohhh let me guess, your stupid family.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Erm... You probably dont understand as you have not been brought up in the same culture... It is not about stressing out or I need to relax. I really think if I keep going like this, I will have issues with my future sexual health
    Move away from your family and talk to guys. Try to forget what they taught you, you obviously want to forget it anyway.

    That's what I meant by relax :rolleyes: If you're away from the family, you don't have to put up a facade for them, and you can relax and be yourself.
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    I have difficulties understanding this, I will admit, as I have not been brought up like this. Do you have older siblings? I think that makes it easier for a lot of people.

    I have never talked with my parents about sex either. I'm from a liberal culture, but my mum is quiet about these things and my father is my stepdad so we're not close on that level.
    IRL, for most people, that's not how you learn about sex. I don't know anyone who were taught what they need to know from their parents. You learn about contraception at school, you learn about guys growing up, you talk to friends, watch TV and movies, pick up stuff from our surroundings. My older sister has also shared her stories.

    I am a little bit surprised (or skeptical?) for you to say you never thought about sex until you were 19. I started having sexual thought at 11, around that age (or 12) was the age I started masturbating. I lost my virginity at 17, which was a good time. I wasn't in a relationship with the guy at the time, it's now a distant, but great memory.

    I know other people will say this too, but you need to chill out. Sex is not a big deal and you are over-thinking it. If you want to talk to your friends about sex, do so. Just because they are still virgins, doesn't mean you can't discuss it. After all, they probably watch porn and masturbate too - all teenagers do.

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Updated: June 22, 2012
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