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23 and never been in a relationship...anyone similar?

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    Hi. I'm 23 and I have never been in a relationship neither have I been physically intimate with a person. I'm getting to that age where I can see my friends and colleagues starting to pity me and think I'm wierd. Even family members have commented on it.
    The problem is I'm not sure if I want to be in a relationship and I've boiled it down to 3 main reasons: firstly I don't trust people, I've seen and read about so many bad relationships where people have been constantly unhappy or even mentally manipulated and controlled. It seems to be a rather common occurence, and I feel like these are just normal people and it could easily have been me. The second reason is that I really value my personal space and spend a lot of time on my own. I don't like the obligations that come with relationships- all the regular meet ups and correspondence. I enjoy the total freedom of not having to regularly keep in contact with anyone and keep them updated on what I'm doing on a weekly bases. Finally, I don't seem to find most people attractive, I appreciate aesthetic beauty but there are very few people I find sexually attractive. Before you say it, no I'm not asexual. I have sexual feelings and crave physical contact on occasions but I can't imagine having it any one that have shown interest in me so far. Can anyone relate?
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    Nothing is perfect, every situation has its advantages and disadvantages. If you want to be in a relationship you have to sacrifice, give up some of your freedom, share time and place with your partner... but it is really worth, I mean although being single has some positive points and you can do with your life whatever you want, but in the long run you would feel bored and the fear of trusting someone because few people nowadays are trustworthy, would turn into a need to trust someone and have someone really close whom you can talk to, go out with...

    You can be lonely at any age, that's not a major problem. But if you meet a person whom you really like, then being in a relationship is better then being alone, I believe :rolleyes:.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi. I'm 23 and I have never been in a relationship neither have I been physically intimate with a person. I'm getting to that age where I can see my friends and colleagues starting to pity me and think I'm wierd. Even family members have commented on it.
    The problem is I'm not sure if I want to be in a relationship and I've boiled it down to 3 main reasons: firstly I don't trust people, I've seen and read about so many bad relationships where people have been constantly unhappy or even mentally manipulated and controlled. It seems to be a rather common occurence, and I feel like these are just normal people and it could easily have been me. The second reason is that I really value my personal space and spend a lot of time on my own. I don't like the obligations that come with relationships- all the regular meet ups and correspondence. I enjoy the total freedom of not having to regularly keep in contact with anyone and keep them updated on what I'm doing on a weekly bases. Finally, I don't seem to find most people attractive, I appreciate aesthetic beauty but there are very few people I find sexually attractive. Before you say it, no I'm not asexual. I have sexual feelings and crave physical contact on occasions but I can't imagine having it any one that have shown interest in me so far. Can anyone relate?
    At 22, I entered into be first relationship, which just ended on Sunday.

    All I'll say really is that you are right to be careful, but you sort of don't know what you're missing. it feels so good to be loved and to have someone to give your love to.

    I got like you as far as the sexuality is concerned too. I had actually consciously stopped myself from looking at women when was out, because I knew there was no point. When someone you like finally shows an interest in you, you'll let that go and suddenly be shocked by how many attractive people there are around you.
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    I'm 23 and never been in a relationship....big deal, enjoy your life. As long as you're not a complete retard you'll likely find someone at some point. In the mean time just enjoy yourself as much as possible.
    #2

    Some one will come eventually so don't worry too much.
    #3

    26 and counting - I do have a chronic skin condition - psoriasis - which I put a lot of the blame on.

    TBH I'm at the stage where I'm used to the celibacy - its just a way of life for me. Even if it did happen now there is so much water under the bridge I reckon I'm pretty much screwed up for life with it the lack of physical contact - hope it happens soon for you.

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Updated: June 23, 2012
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