Am I being judgemental?

For questions and discussions relating to all aspects and kinds of relationships, from love and dating to friends, family and work. Threads about sexuality also belong here.

Announcements Posted on
Enter our travel-writing competition for the chance to win a Nikon 1 J3 camera 21-05-2013
Sign in to Reply
  1. stargirl63's Avatar
    • Benevolent Member
    • Location: London
    Am I being judgemental?
    There's a guy who I have known since December, he asked for my number when I was at Argos doing some Christmas shopping and he works there. We have met up twice after that, and I always have so much fun with him, and we talk probably around 3-4 times a week, however recently it's becoming a lot more frequent.

    He always says how much he likes me and that I'm the kind of girl to settle down with and all that. He has dropped hints a few times via text that the next time I see him, he will probably ask to make it official.

    I know how much he likes, me, but I question how much I like him. He is great, and we do click, however I'm not sure if he is someone I want to be with. He didn't go to university, works full time in Argos, hangs with a bad crowd and smokes weed on a regular. It's not something I would look for in a partner. Like I said however, we do get along really well and I am fond of him. Am I being judgemental basing my decisions on where he works and who he hangs out with? He isn't the kind of guy I would be proud to bring home to meet my parents. I don't want to be judgemental at all because if someone told me I wasn't good enough for them because I don't go to Oxbridge or something, I would be really upset, but it's just not what I am looking for.

    I know some of you on here may say it's better to be with someone who treats you right, rather than someone who has great qualifications and prospects but treats you badly, but I say can't I have both? Should I hold out for someone who I feel is more suited to me?
  2. jeery83's Avatar
    • Adored and Respected Member
    • Posts: 433
    Re: Am I being judgemental?
    (Original post by stargirl63)
    He didn't go to university, works full time in Argos,

    Am I being judgemental basing my decisions on where he works and who he hangs out with?
    Yes, you are being judgemental. A bit snobbish and shallow, too. :facepalm:
  3. G-man89's Avatar
    • Junior Member
    • Posts: 56
    Re: Am I being judgemental?
    Not necessarily. I find girls who have ambitions more attractive. Is he intending to stay at Argos? Does he have any goals or aspirations? These are the questions I would find the answer to before making a decision.
  4. InsideMyBrain's Avatar
    • Full Member
    • Location: England
    • Posts: 82
    Re: Am I being judgemental?
    I don't think your being judgemental you just don't want to be around someone who smokes weed and has a dead end job. Fair enough. Ultimately it's what your comfortable with and if his friends and smoking weed make you feel uncomfortable than you don't have to deal with it. As for the job, he might not always work at Argos... but it sounds as though he might.
  5. EGjeff's Avatar
    • Benevolent Member
    • Location: nearish Bristol
    • Posts: 700
    Re: Am I being judgemental?
    (Original post by G-man89)
    Not necessarily. I find girls who have ambitions more attractive. Is he intending to stay at Argos? Does he have any goals or aspirations? These are the questions I would find the answer to before making a decision.
    This. Ambition is important, even if it's to work his way up at Argos to head office etc, I don't think I could be with someone who didn't want to better themselves.
  6. Millie228's Avatar
    • Peer Of The TSR Realm
    • Posts: 1,769
    • Warning points: 2
    Re: Am I being judgemental?
    If he "hangs with a bad crowd", that would be a no for me.
    It's perfectly possible to find someone who treats you well AND have ambitions in their life...
Sign in to Reply
Share this discussion:  
Article updates
Moderators

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 volunteers looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Reputation gems:
The Reputation gems seen here indicate how well reputed the user is, red gem indicate negative reputation and green indicates a good rep.
Post rating score:
These scores show if a post has been positively or negatively rated by our members.