In the local garden centre
Humid moist and very green
Scents of lily peat and roses
Mingle with the coffee bean
Hanging baskets spades and wellies
Trugs and trowels kneeling pads
Empty nesters merry widows
Fans of Titchmarsh busy dads
Middle England Archers country
Which the riots failed to reach
Labrador and golf and nanny
Lord preserve this we beseech