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How to avoid being 'friend zoned'?

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    Pretty self-explanatory, I'd just like some tips and advice on this from you lovely folks and I'm sure others would as well, so thought I'd post this thread.

    Basically it boils down to this for me. I've told the girl that I've fancied for ages that I like her and I think she likes me too. She's been texting me all day even though I only gave her my number earlier on, and she's been dropping subtle hints that she likes me back, I think. We've arranged to meet up next week, and she said that she'd been thinking of me all day and that I'd made her day by saying what I said.

    I'm 18 by the way (I know, I sound about 14 in the paragraphs above haha) and I've never had a relationship that lasted longer than 5 or 6 weeks, so any advice is very welcome
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    So far so good
    Make sure she understands that you see her as a possible romantic partner and not just a friend. But I'd say you did that and she got the drift.
    When you meet up, try and go for a kiss. I know it's your first 'date' but why not . Plus, if successful, the both of you are on a complete different level.
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    "Friendzone" is not some accident that happens to unknowing victims. When a guy has been 'friendzoned', one of the two things happened:
    - He has never made an ACTUAL MOVE. By that I mean invite her on something that is clearly a date, trying to kiss her etc.
    - She has turned him down or been unclear in her response (which is pretty much the same as a rejection), yet he is hanging around hoping for her to change her mind.

    Some girls may be shy or afraid to hurt a guy's feelings and therefore not be clear enough in her rejection. But all of that is solved when a guy makes an actual move. If she's not into you, she won't agree to be kissed, she won't agree to numerous dates, she won't agree to come upstairs.

    OP, the girl sounds like she's into you. Just keep dating her and see. Don't be afraid of a 'friendzone', which is bogus. You let yourself be friendzoned if you want to. You are interested in her, and if somewhere down the line she turns out to not have the same feelings for you, cut her off. If you don't want to be "just friends" with her, don't be.

    Edit: regarding your behaviour towards her, don't over-think it. I hate it when guys feel like they need to contact a girl less or be less friendly than they want to, just because they have an idea that girls want a jerk. When I'm really into a guy, hearing from him every day has never put me off. A lot of girls (especially attractive girls) has been exposed to a lot 'game' and know this is mainly effort made to increase chances of getting laid or 'experimental' methods. I'll always assume that if a guy is genuinely into me he wouldn't want to risk anything by 'gaming me' - a male friends has also told me he only does that to girls he's not fully interested in. So if you are interested - act like it. Just keep our own life running. And try to be concise with her - when you do contact her, let it be because you want to meet up. Men are concrete and tend to go for what they want. Text conversations get really boring. They always end with one party not bothering to reply and the other freaking out. Talk in person or on rare occasions, over the phone. Internet conversations are ok, but keep them concise, to the point and try to avoid lingering on about schoolwork, or horrors, the weather.
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    (Original post by Bollo's Lovechild)
    Pretty self-explanatory, I'd just like some tips and advice on this from you lovely folks and I'm sure others would as well, so thought I'd post this thread.

    Basically it boils down to this for me. I've told the girl that I've fancied for ages that I like her and I think she likes me too. She's been texting me all day even though I only gave her my number earlier on, and she's been dropping subtle hints that she likes me back, I think. We've arranged to meet up next week, and she said that she'd been thinking of me all day and that I'd made her day by saying what I said.

    I'm 18 by the way (I know, I sound about 14 in the paragraphs above haha) and I've never had a relationship that lasted longer than 5 or 6 weeks, so any advice is very welcome
    Just chase her and make a move. Don't be stupid or go overboard, she likes you, just go for it.
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    (Original post by Bollo's Lovechild)
    Pretty self-explanatory, I'd just like some tips and advice on this from you lovely folks and I'm sure others would as well, so thought I'd post this thread.

    Basically it boils down to this for me. I've told the girl that I've fancied for ages that I like her and I think she likes me too. She's been texting me all day even though I only gave her my number earlier on, and she's been dropping subtle hints that she likes me back, I think. We've arranged to meet up next week, and she said that she'd been thinking of me all day and that I'd made her day by saying what I said.

    I'm 18 by the way (I know, I sound about 14 in the paragraphs above haha) and I've never had a relationship that lasted longer than 5 or 6 weeks, so any advice is very welcome
    - Don't be too friendly and overly talkative with girls. Act like a man and not a "gay best friend" if you must.

    - In this day of texting and social networks etc. Try avoid all these "" and little gimmicks which seem a little girly... (Like adding load of letters at the end of words like hellooooo).

    - Don't ignore them and be cruel to them, but don't give them attention at every given chance.

    This is just from experience tbh. I'm sure different women want different things.
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    Strike a balance between being Mr Sensitive and being Mr Jerk. Act like you're not as invested in the outcome as you actually are and don't show your sensitive side until you know you've got her.
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    Thankyou for the responses! Will bear these in mind
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    The basic definition of being friendzoned is that you'll most likely not be anything more than friends. Timing is key to not get friendzoned, if you get to know her a bit and ask her out she'll claim you don't know her well enough, if you get to know her and become good friends she'll say, that she doesn't want to make things awkward or ruin the friendship because you know her a bit too well. Basically don't get to know the person too well but don't make a move too soon

    OP, it seems this girl likes you, so good luck.

    This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830
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    To avoid being friend zoned is really simple in fact. If you like some girl, show her you are into her. And if she wont cooperate as intended. Give up on her.
    For whatever nice she is and for whatever she appels to you like no one before, those are false feelings you have to overcome.
    I personally don't even believe male-female friendship exists, and those that do, are likely to happen just because one side wants it while the second doesn't.
    Being friend zoned most commonly happens to guys.
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    (Original post by Sheep221)
    To avoid being friend zoned is really simple in fact. If you like some girl, show her you are into her. And if she wont cooperate as intended. Give up on her.
    For whatever nice she is and for whatever she appels to you like no one before, those are false feelings you have to overcome.
    I personally don't even believe male-female friendship exists, and those that do, are likely to happen just because one side wants it while the second doesn't.
    Being friend zoned most commonly happens to guys.
    I agree with that.
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    Here's a genuinely good tip for nice guys. If you keep finding yourself as a back-up boyfriend, start having options. Be nice to more than just one woman - she'll realise that women are into you and then she'll be more interested. The so-called "bad boys" are attractive partly because they're a challenge. Solution: flirt with lots of women.
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    Get a fat wallet.
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    (Original post by Unknown?)
    Get a fat wallet.
    You have an obsession with that gold-digger stuff, don't you? :p:
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    (Original post by Lucia.)
    You have an obsession with that gold-digger stuff, don't you? :p:
    I only speak the truth.
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    Cheers guys for the responses we went out today and I tried to bear these in mind but I do get the feeling that I'm becoming the 'gay best friend' haha, even on the first date.
    We walked around and talked for about 4 hours, and have seemingly a lot in common, and she paid me lots of compliments, but she did say I was a bit 'feminine' when it cropped up in conversation.
    She said she wanted to meet up again and has been texting me sibce though, so I'm not sure. Wish I could just be a man about it tbh. Any ideas? Again, thanks!
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    Be touchy feely with her, kiss her and see how she responds
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    (Original post by Bollo's Lovechild)
    Cheers guys for the responses we went out today and I tried to bear these in mind but I do get the feeling that I'm becoming the 'gay best friend' haha, even on the first date.
    We walked around and talked for about 4 hours, and have seemingly a lot in common, and she paid me lots of compliments, but she did say I was a bit 'feminine' when it cropped up in conversation.
    She said she wanted to meet up again and has been texting me sibce though, so I'm not sure. Wish I could just be a man about it tbh. Any ideas? Again, thanks!
    Probably should have made a move on her during that time :p:

    I don't mind walking and talking but usually my strategy is to keep a sexual undertone running, or at least come across as interesting and fun so that you can talk for hours but keep her engaged. Also, making some sort of physical connection is paramount!

    My favourite strategy is to do something stupid like shout "quick, look out there is a killer bee flying towards you!" then grab her arm and say something like "oh man that was close. Here i'll look after you from now on" and then hold her hand.

    I mean ok I made that up, but something physical like hand holding shows intent and once you have her hand you will have to for the rest of the night
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    You can avoid being friedzoned by continually reminding the girl that you are sex object, and that in some way you think of her has a sex object.

    That means inuendo and introducing sex and the like in a playful way.

    Take this is a good contrast. Suppose a girl was asked what she was doing later tonight, you interject with

    "She is going to have sex with me" - That is terrible, duhhhhhh.

    "She is coming over to my place. I am going to spread her out on the bed. Kiss her............Then go to sleep" - That is going to be funny if used in the right time and the girl will not help but think of herself naked infront of you.
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    Another tip is to end a date on a high point and not let it taper out too long, because spending too much time can result in a friend vibe.

    As Stevo said, make some physical moves. You don't have to go all out. Just start by touching her arm or hand or whatever and see how she reacts. Take it slow.

    Don't play the goof either. Actually women like funny guys but if you're too jovial, it's friendly and it stops the woman from seeing you as potentially sexy.
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    Wow, quick replies, thankyou
    I did touch her quite a bit (that sounds weird) on her arms but nothing subtle it sexy really, and I couldn't tell if she liked it or not. She's pretty inexperienced, so I don't know if that makes a difference, though I think she'd be fairly freaked out if I kissed her out of the blue and defo too risky to talk about sex in that way yet, though I will try with the innuendos. Don't worry I kept her engaged for that time, but I will keep in mind about the being jovial, and I think next time it'd be better to do something fun. Essentially what I did was try to make her laugh all afternoon, which worked, but yeah it was a bit goofy. Will just have to be more of a man next time, thanks for the advice people, you're great!

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Updated: June 25, 2012
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