[ConstantlyStressed]

Hi,

Thank you to anyone who'd bothered to read this entire thing.

I've been battling with depression for such a long time...I was losing friends, I never went out or had the money to truly "enjoy" myself, I had such a low self esteem...but then, somehow, it all got better this year, which was my final year of taking A levels. I was slowly starting to make a few friends, I was focusing on work, and I was enjoying it immensely

I finished a couple of weeks ago, and immediately three of my friends had jetted off on holiday together, and I only found out through another friend. What's more, I'm struggling so much to get a part time job this summer to earn some cash..I've no experience whatsoever, but I was hoping maybe that'd change, yet it's proving to be so much more difficult this year. My other friend has already found a job at Hollister really easily, simply because her mother's cousin works there.

A couple of days ago, I got home from a day spent searching fruitlessly for jobs, and my mum started lashing out at me for no reason whatsoever, calling me useless and pathetic and worthless. She then proceeded to say that I'm "too fat to wear jeans", which hurt so much. I kept it all in, and didn't breath a word to her or anyone for a couple of days.

And then, today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying how he didn't feel the same way, and how he wanted a change. We were together for nearly three years, and it just broke my heart.

I'm sorry for ranting all of this out...I just feel like i have no-one. I fear that sooner or later, I'm going to crack, and won't ever feel happy. I guess I just want to confide in someone, in anyone.

[james1211]

If you want to talk you can message me

[Dan12]

to be honest I never had many friends at high school or even college and I have never had a girlfriend. You just need to concentrate on your studies and join a gym so you can channel your stress. I'm hoping to meet friends at uni. Finally, people feeling how you feel is more common than you think.

P.s. Are you close to your mother because if you are you should tell her how you really feel and stop bottling it up. This is the mistake I made because I bottled up stress and kept to myself. I also found that drinking plenty of water and healthy eating helped

[ConstantlyStressed]

(Original post by james1211)
If you want to talk you can message me

Thank you, so much. I haven't been on here often enough, so I'm not sure how it works exactly.

[TheSelfAcknowleged]

(Original post by ConstantlyStressed)
Hi,

Thank you to anyone who'd bothered to read this entire thing.

I've been battling with depression for such a long time...I was losing friends, I never went out or had the money to truly "enjoy" myself, I had such a low self esteem...but then, somehow, it all got better this year, which was my final year of taking A levels. I was slowly starting to make a few friends, I was focusing on work, and I was enjoying it immensely

I finished a couple of weeks ago, and immediately three of my friends had jetted off on holiday together, and I only found out through another friend. What's more, I'm struggling so much to get a part time job this summer to earn some cash..I've no experience whatsoever, but I was hoping maybe that'd change, yet it's proving to be so much more difficult this year. My other friend has already found a job at Hollister really easily, simply because her mother's cousin works there.

A couple of days ago, I got home from a day spent searching fruitlessly for jobs, and my mum started lashing out at me for no reason whatsoever, calling me useless and pathetic and worthless. She then proceeded to say that I'm "too fat to wear jeans", which hurt so much. I kept it all in, and didn't breath a word to her or anyone for a couple of days.

And then, today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying how he didn't feel the same way, and how he wanted a change. We were together for nearly three years, and it just broke my heart.

I'm sorry for ranting all of this out...I just feel like i have no-one. I fear that sooner or later, I'm going to crack, and won't ever feel happy. I guess I just want to confide in someone, in anyone.

I will openly admit I don't know how you feel, but I would give what little advice I can, if it helps...

What I would ask myself is: what is the truth?
Are you a hard worker, do you feel you did well in your A-levels, are you really that fat that you're mum made that comment?

I know I'm probably applying my relatively less annoying situations (although obviously I've been a bit depressed at times just as much as anyone else) but I think the best way to look at it is this: can things get better?

The reason I'd refer to truth is that I am a serious worrier: I worry about EVERYTHING. I spend most of my time worrying about things before doing things, irrespective of it's significance in daily life. Whenever I'm stressed I ask myself: am I legitimate in feeling self-pity?

I think you should reanalyse the situation:

Anyone can gain confidence to get a job: capitalism is a game to be played. As you get older you will get more confidence; as you get older you will find more people like you; I think that the best way to carry on if you're ever stressed is to ask yourself whether or not things can get better.

99.9% of the time they do get better: with a bit of luck and self-will life will improve. You're parents may just be plain wrong. I think listening to your parents when they mock you is ridiculous. Remind yourself, you are the young person and you have greater potential! At least you're trying to get a job, and I can guarantee you that self-contained persistence is something that people respect in society, especially businesses.

If it helps, I pretty much will do nothing this summer but look for a job and do exercise xD I'm very introverted and to be honest with you, it's important to realise that life is just as unpredictable as it is negative at times!

My way of looking at things is this: dominate all. Be the most physically and mentally happy person, with the greatest moderation and virtue and strength to self-persist. This may seem a bit odd, but it really helps me. I want to remain physically fit so that people look at me and respect my capacity to moderate both mental as well as physical exercise. This may be totally irrelevant to you, but I personally believe this egoistic, yet still peaceful and moderate way of looking things is vital in flourishing life. I really think virtue ethics is a good way of looking at things: don't think that not getting a job and feeling self-pity is wrong. But don't have too much self-pity or not enough! Aristotlean virtue ethics says that life is full of 'weakness of will' and the person who embraces this shall go further than one who constantly aims for superficial perfection (i.e. ALWAYS being necessarily content).

Then again I'm 17 and so that's quite a hard to generalisation to substantiate experientially

May be totally arbitrary though :P
Just my 'two cents' :P

[ConstantlyStressed]

(Original post by Dan12)
to be honest I never had many friends at high school or even college and I have never had a girlfriend. You just need to concentrate on your studies and join a gym so you can channel your stress. I'm hoping to meet friends at uni. Finally, people feeling how you feel is more common than you think.

P.s. Are you close to your mother because if you are you should tell her how you really feel and stop bottling it up. This is the mistake I made because I bottled up stress and kept to myself. I also found that drinking plenty of water and healthy eating helped

Thanks for listening..I'm aiming to do that this summer, but I'm still struggling..

[Anonymous]

True, life does not always appear to be fair. But there's always a silver lining you do not see through hazy eyes.

Have someone to talk to. Because it always gets better. It may not be apparent when there are an infinite number of paths to choose from; the dots just become obvious when you move past some of them. You're loved. You just do not realise that.

[ConstantlyStressed]

(Original post by TheSelfAcknowleged)
I will openly admit I don't know how you feel, but I would give what little advice I can, if it helps...

What I would ask myself is: what is the truth?
Are you a hard worker, do you feel you did well in your A-levels, are you really that fat that you're mum made that comment?

I know I'm probably applying my relatively less annoying situations (although obviously I've been a bit depressed at times just as much as anyone else) but I think the best way to look at it is this: can things get better?

The reason I'd refer to truth is that I am a serious worrier: I worry about EVERYTHING. I spend most of my time worrying about things before doing things, irrespective of it's significance in daily life. Whenever I'm stressed I ask myself: am I legitimate in feeling self-pity?

I think you should reanalyse the situation:

Anyone can gain confidence to get a job: capitalism is a game to be played. As you get older you will get more confidence; as you get older you will find more people like you; I think that the best way to carry on if you're ever stressed is to ask yourself whether or not things can get better.

99.9% of the time they do get better: with a bit of luck and self-will life will improve. You're parents may just be plain wrong. I think listening to your parents when they mock you is ridiculous. Remind yourself, you are the young person and you have greater potential! At least you're trying to get a job, and I can guarantee you that self-contained persistence is something that people respect in society, especially businesses.

If it helps, I pretty much will do nothing this summer but look for a job and do exercise xD I'm very introverted and to be honest with you, it's important to realise that life is just as unpredictable as it is negative at times!

Then again I'm 17 and so that's quite a hard to generalisation to substantiate experientially

Just my 'two cents' :P

I weigh 9 and a half stone. Thank you so much for listening; I'm 17, too, so I can relate. I think I did quite well in my A levels - I didn't find any of my exams extremely difficult, if you know what I mean.

[Dan12]

(Original post by ConstantlyStressed)
Thanks for listening..I'm aiming to do that this summer, but I'm still struggling..

If you've got a question, I'll try and answer it

[Mazzini]

Perhaps you could ask in some shops if they'll do some work experience for you? Then you'll have experience and possibly a reference to put on your CV as well. Then if you get a job you can start going to the gym.

Work experience --> reference --> job --> money --> gym --> slimmer you

Send me a message (as well ) if you need to talk. You need to click on 'Inbox' at the very top of each page on TSR, slightly to the right. Then click 'Send new message' and enter the username of the recipient

[pinkangelgirl]

Hey OP,

Sorry to hear your feeling like this. I want to just try and give you some small glimmer of hope, no matter how slight that might be. I have been through my fair share of ****. I got bullied all my life at school, havent ever had a friendship group- the ones i did have, like you theyd do things together and then id find out after. I failed a year of my A levels. My Mum passed away 2 years ago when I was 19. Am not particularly close anymore to my family. My Dad is not really a ''Dad'' to me- he tries- or does he? I dont know. My long term boyfriend split up with me 6 months ago. I moved to uni 2 years ago and had such bad depression. So severe i would think about suicide all the time, in my head I was screaming so loudly for help. But then id smile and pretend to be fine.

But now I feel better than ever- im still grieving over my Mum, but my life is a lot better- i have friends and a job and i do volunteering and ive found new hobbies.

Sometimes, really bad things happen to us and we cant see anyway of them improving. It sometimes feels like our life couldnt get any worse. Another thing is, try and view what is happening and how you can make each thing better individually rather than looking at the situation as a whole.

For example, the job situation. Well done that your making an effort looking for jobs. Trust me it tok mforever to find a job, but determination to get1 and pushing my CV's on everyone meant that eventually I was successful. A lot of the time I got interviews when I would ring up a few days later and ask if theyd had chance to look at my CV. Maybe ring a few of the places in a few days?

Next, you mention your boyfriend breaking up with you. A break up is really hard. Gosh, when my ex broke up with me i was devastated. I cried and felt suicidal for a few weeks. But after i realised it was for the best and am much happier now. Im sure its come as a shock to you? You just need to ealise you are young, and its easy to say, but there really will be someone else for you- someone better- whether that be now or in 10 years time or whatever- it will happen

Thats just some basic advice, if you need anymore help or just a friendly ear, PM me.

[neversurrender]

(Original post by ConstantlyStressed)
Hi,

Thank you to anyone who'd bothered to read this entire thing.

I've been battling with depression for such a long time...I was losing friends, I never went out or had the money to truly "enjoy" myself, I had such a low self esteem...but then, somehow, it all got better this year, which was my final year of taking A levels. I was slowly starting to make a few friends, I was focusing on work, and I was enjoying it immensely

I finished a couple of weeks ago, and immediately three of my friends had jetted off on holiday together, and I only found out through another friend. What's more, I'm struggling so much to get a part time job this summer to earn some cash..I've no experience whatsoever, but I was hoping maybe that'd change, yet it's proving to be so much more difficult this year. My other friend has already found a job at Hollister really easily, simply because her mother's cousin works there.

A couple of days ago, I got home from a day spent searching fruitlessly for jobs, and my mum started lashing out at me for no reason whatsoever, calling me useless and pathetic and worthless. She then proceeded to say that I'm "too fat to wear jeans", which hurt so much. I kept it all in, and didn't breath a word to her or anyone for a couple of days.

And then, today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying how he didn't feel the same way, and how he wanted a change. We were together for nearly three years, and it just broke my heart.

I'm sorry for ranting all of this out...I just feel like i have no-one. I fear that sooner or later, I'm going to crack, and won't ever feel happy. I guess I just want to confide in someone, in anyone.

I can see why you might be finding things tough. Have you spoken to anyone else about it? Have you been to see your GP? You say you've been battling depression but don't mention whether you've been getting help for it.

Don't take the job thing to heart. It's a bad economy out there and a lot of people are in the same boat. It took me a long time before I found a part time job. You just have to keep searching. Something WILL come up eventually.

The boyfriend thing is **** but again your heartache will pass and you will move on.

The mum thing is a bit more difficult to deal with but in my experience mums say things they don't mean in a moment of stress. It's not an excuse but my mum has lashed out at me and I know she never really meant it.

Once you find a job the friends thing will become a lot easier and you'll be exposed to loads of new people. Are you going to uni? As that will obviously be a brand new opportunity to meet so many new people as well.

In the meantime try and get some exercise and eat and drink well. Looking after yourself physically really helps boost your mood and self esteem.

PM me if you ever want to chat.

[Gakthoil]

It sounds as though your state of mind is suffering from nihilism. Nihilism is a transitory phase to existentialism which is essentially creating a purpose for your life, not simply expecting there to be one. In my own experience, philosophy helped me understand why I feel the way I do sometimes and what I need to do to alter my state of mind for the better.

[stupefy!]

(Original post by ConstantlyStressed)
Hi,

Thank you to anyone who'd bothered to read this entire thing.

Hi,

I really am truly sorry you're dealing with this. I hate the feeling of my friends doing things without you and I'm certain it would really hurt if my friends went on holiday without me, on top of everything else you're going through.

Like the other poster said, you're very welcome to message me. I wish there were some way I could help and, I know it sounds cheesey, but things will get better. Really.

Are you getting help from your GP for your depression? It may help you see a brighter future with a clearer frame of mind.

[ConstantlyStressed]

(Original post by Dan12)
If you've got a question, I'll try and answer it

I've never been close to my mother..we have a pretty hostile relationship. For years, she'd been trying to put me down. Sometimes it worked, other times it didn't.
I have no questions, but thank you for listening and for your suggestions.

[ConstantlyStressed]

(Original post by Mazzini)
Perhaps you could ask in some shops if they'll do some work experience for you? Then you'll have experience and possibly a reference to put on your CV as well. Then if you get a job you can start going to the gym.

Work experience --> reference --> job --> money --> gym --> slimmer you

Send me a message (as well ) if you need to talk. You need to click on 'Inbox' at the very top of each page on TSR, slightly to the right. Then click 'Send new message' and enter the username of the recipient

I was hoping to do that tomorrow..Thank you so much.
Oh, thanks for that! I will.

[ConstantlyStressed]

(Original post by pinkangelgirl)
Hey OP,

Sorry to hear your feeling like this. I want to just try and give you some small glimmer of hope, no matter how slight that might be. I have been through my fair share of ****. I got bullied all my life at school, havent ever had a friendship group- the ones i did have, like you theyd do things together and then id find out after. I failed a year of my A levels. My Mum passed away 2 years ago when I was 19. Am not particularly close anymore to my family. My Dad is not really a ''Dad'' to me- he tries- or does he? I dont know. My long term boyfriend split up with me 6 months ago. I moved to uni 2 years ago and had such bad depression. So severe i would think about suicide all the time, in my head I was screaming so loudly for help. But then id smile and pretend to be fine.

But now I feel better than ever- im still grieving over my Mum, but my life is a lot better- i have friends and a job and i do volunteering and ive found new hobbies.

Sometimes, really bad things happen to us and we cant see anyway of them improving. It sometimes feels like our life couldnt get any worse. Another thing is, try and view what is happening and how you can make each thing better individually rather than looking at the situation as a whole.

For example, the job situation. Well done that your making an effort looking for jobs. Trust me it tok mforever to find a job, but determination to get1 and pushing my CV's on everyone meant that eventually I was successful. A lot of the time I got interviews when I would ring up a few days later and ask if theyd had chance to look at my CV. Maybe ring a few of the places in a few days?

Next, you mention your boyfriend breaking up with you. A break up is really hard. Gosh, when my ex broke up with me i was devastated. I cried and felt suicidal for a few weeks. But after i realised it was for the best and am much happier now. Im sure its come as a shock to you? You just need to ealise you are young, and its easy to say, but there really will be someone else for you- someone better- whether that be now or in 10 years time or whatever- it will happen

Thats just some basic advice, if you need anymore help or just a friendly ear, PM me.

Your message made me smile for the first time today. I can't thank you enough. I'm really sorry about everything you had to go through - you've helped me a lot.

[ConstantlyStressed]

(Original post by neversurrender)
I can see why you might be finding things tough. Have you spoken to anyone else about it? Have you been to see your GP? You say you've been battling depression but don't mention whether you've been getting help for it.

Don't take the job thing to heart. It's a bad economy out there and a lot of people are in the same boat. It took me a long time before I found a part time job. You just have to keep searching. Something WILL come up eventually.

The boyfriend thing is **** but again your heartache will pass and you will move on.

The mum thing is a bit more difficult to deal with but in my experience mums say things they don't mean in a moment of stress. It's not an excuse but my mum has lashed out at me and I know she never really meant it.

Once you find a job the friends thing will become a lot easier and you'll be exposed to loads of new people. Are you going to uni? As that will obviously be a brand new opportunity to meet so many new people as well.

In the meantime try and get some exercise and eat and drink well. Looking after yourself physically really helps boost your mood and self esteem.

PM me if you ever want to chat.

I've sort of dealt with it by myself..I'm scared the GP will just dismiss it. I generally just keep it to myself.

I am going to uni, which is the only thing I'm looking forward to; thank you .

[Dan12]

(Original post by ConstantlyStressed)
I've never been close to my mother..we have a pretty hostile relationship. For years, she'd been trying to put me down. Sometimes it worked, other times it didn't.
I have no questions, but thank you for listening and for your suggestions.

It's a difficult situation, what I would say is do as well as you can in your A-levels and show your mother your potential. Have you ever told your mother how she makes you feel?

[ConstantlyStressed]

(Original post by stupefy!)
Hi,

I really am truly sorry you're dealing with this. I hate the feeling of my friends doing things without you and I'm certain it would really hurt if my friends went on holiday without me, on top of everything else you're going through.

Like the other poster said, you're very welcome to message me. I wish there were some way I could help and, I know it sounds cheesey, but things will get better. Really.

Are you getting help from your GP for your depression? It may help you see a brighter future with a clearer frame of mind.

Thank you for listening It's not cheesy at all, but thank you, that helped so much. I haven't really seen a GP about my depression, I've just dealt with it myself., but I think I'll have to go sooner or later. Thank you, again.