[Anonymous]

I haven't got much of a relationship with my dad, leaning towards non-existent emotionally. Most of my life he pretty much thought I was a moron regarding anything that involved common sense. my family are not too knowledgable with mental issues other than simply being 'depressed' and being 'crazy'.

Since I have gone to university, I have talked to counsellors and have been diagnosed by the psychiatrists there. My mum has a vague idea. My university have asked my to give evidence to student finance so that they are able to help me, which is when I thought about telling my dad.

How do I break it to him? Or, do I really need to tell him? What are the pros/cons of this action?

[darthgirlie]

I think its important for you to have people around you that care about you and that can support you through a period of time which you're obviously finding very difficult. Im sure actually getting a diagnosis and seeking support has been very stressful for you and you might find it useful, almost therapeutic to sit maybe both your mum and dad down with a cup of tea and say something along the lines of 'i havent been well recently, ive received this diagnosis while i was at uni', holding a leaflet or having the nhs website and be open and say 'these are my symptoms i would really appreciate if you could support me by understanding that this time in my life is really very stressful'.

Obviously i dont know what your home life and what relationships within that are like and ultimately i think you need to be honest and open with yourself about what you want to achieve by telling them. Its never going to be an easy conversation but best of luck.

[Anonymous]

It really depends on your relationship with them. I only tell people who I know aren't ignorant or offensive. No matter what someone's blood relation to you is - people can still be horrible. I don't know your parents/your relationship - so that is for you to judge. You just have to be honest with yourself about who will understand and what the benefits (if any) of telling some people would be.

[Sabertooth]

It depends on your relationship with him.

My mum told my dad (not in a nice way) that I was seeing a psychiatrist and, tbh, since then it's just been awkward. I don't have a particularly close relationship with him so everytime I see him (which, granted, isn't all that often) he feels compelled to ask am I still seeing a psychiatrist. It just makes things awkward, I wish she never told him.

It's good to share these things if you have a supportive family and you want them to know, but don't feel like you have to just because he's your dad.

[Jiraya Sama]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I haven't got much of a relationship with my dad, leaning towards non-existent emotionally. Most of my life he pretty much thought I was a moron regarding anything that involved common sense. my family are not too knowledgable with mental issues other than simply being 'depressed' and being 'crazy'.

Since I have gone to university, I have talked to counsellors and have been diagnosed by the psychiatrists there. My mum has a vague idea. My university have asked my to give evidence to student finance so that they are able to help me, which is when I thought about telling my dad.

How do I break it to him? Or, do I really need to tell him? What are the pros/cons of this action?

Before I opened this thread and just read the title all I thought was to type "he is your dad, all you need to do is open your mouth" but after reading a little, I think I will still have to stick to my opinion. He is your father, he needs to know. People have to learn/go through a learning process to be good parents through out their life, don;t know if I am trying to justify your father's behaviour, but still. Wouldn't you want your child to tell you? Not sure about the pro's/con's.

Thanks

[Anonymous]

I do want to be truthful and tell him, but I am scared about losing whatever remaining smidgen of respect he still has for me. I do not want to be considered 'crazy' by him even if I know I'm not.

While I would want to know if my hypothetical child had it, my dad and I do not exactly think with the same frame of mind, so I don't know if he will feel the same way. (when I think of this, I think of the episode of American dad when stan exposes the gay reporter to his homophobic father, if anyone happens to watch it)

I really do want to be close to someone, atleast one person in my lifetime. I've contemplated telling just my mum (properly), but despite a mental issue being something that is out of my control, I just feel so ashamed admitting i have it, even when I talked to the counsellors/psychiatrists.

I suppose an appropriate course of action would be to tell my mum properly first, and then work from there, contemplate whether I should tell my dad.

It is weird, I feel less ashamed if I tell my friends/counsellors about it, but bring my parents into this and a trek up a hill now becomes an expedition up Everest.

[Jiraya Sama]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I do want to be truthful and tell him, but I am scared about losing whatever remaining smidgen of respect he still has for me. I do not want to be considered 'crazy' by him even if I know I'm not.

While I would want to know if my hypothetical child had it, my dad and I do not exactly think with the same frame of mind, so I don't know if he will feel the same way. (when I think of this, I think of the episode of American dad when stan exposes the gay reporter to his homophobic father, if anyone happens to watch it)

I really do want to be close to someone, atleast one person in my lifetime. I've contemplated telling just my mum (properly), but despite a mental issue being something that is out of my control, I just feel so ashamed admitting i have it, even when I talked to the counsellors/psychiatrists.

I suppose an appropriate course of action would be to tell my mum properly first, and then work from there, contemplate whether I should tell my dad.

It is weird, I feel less ashamed if I tell my friends/counsellors about it, but bring my parents into this and a trek up a hill now becomes an expedition up Everest.

TV, let alone being a cartoon shouldn't be used in real life contexts. They are usually 100% exaggerated etc. Your talking about respect but hiding it away from your father is like not respecting him, the way you speak about him (in high regards). Its better it coming from you than anyone. You never know he may change in his ways.

Hope it all works out the best for you.

[Anonymous]

I find a lot of people don't really know much about what depression really means, and any mention of the words 'mental health problem' is likely to create some extremely awkward situations. I've never told ANYONE that I have depression, and that is the way it is going to stay. I've been told to 'get over it' by a psychology student before now. I don't think that anyone would help me with my depression if I told them.

However, that is just my experience of it.

From what you've said about your dad, I think you'd be better not telling him. But if you think it'd help in any way, by all means tell him. You don't really need to tell anyone about it tbh, it doesn't really affect anything if you don't, but some people could treat you differently etc if you do tell them.