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4 Hour, 40 Minute or 4 minute sex ?

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    So basically I've had three sexual relationships and I'm firstly a little confused what is normal because they have all been so different!

    The first bf he could last anything from 20-1hr. With my last bf it was normally and hr plus but we did it for about 4hrs once.

    My most recent bf, well lets just say sex is rather disappointing. He can't seem to last more than 5 minutes. Is it normal to finish so early, and what can I do to keep it going a bit longer without insulting him? My first bf said he tried really hard to hold the urge and the last guy of was with said to slow down etc if I still wanted to keep going.

    My current bf hasn't seemed to make any attempt to hold on it seems, and has even acted as if he's been caught out by his own semen at times "oops didnt see that coming"

    Help, i know its not all about sex but i would like to improve it. The odd thing is as a far as i know this guy has had more sexual experience than the others, and is a bit older... so why can't he control it better!!????
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    Positive reinforcement, I guess. Let him know what he's doing right but save any criticism.

    I've heard it helps if the man masturbates first to get some out of his system. During sex, all he needs to do is learn how to identify the moment when he's about to cum so he can stop for a bit before starting again.

    That does sound odd if he's that experienced though.

    Find a good moment to talk to him about this but don't make that moment during or straight after sex. If you save that discussion for a neutral time when no one is thinking about sex, it will feel less pressured for him.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Lucia.)
    Positive reinforcement, I guess. Let him know what he's doing right but save any criticism.

    I've heard it helps if the man masturbates first to get some out of his system. During sex, all he needs to do is learn how to identify the moment when he's about to cum so he can stop for a bit before starting again.

    That does sound odd if he's that experienced though.

    Find a good moment to talk to him about this but don't make that moment during or straight after sex. If you save that discussion for a neutral time when no one is thinking about sex, it will feel less pressured for him.
    How would you go about asking a man this, do you think perhaps i should say something before we start doing it like 'tell me to go slower if you feel you need to cum' the issue is he normally does it when he's in control not me :-P. I'd find it quite awkward to bring it up randomly in conversation bit it is quite a new relationship, do you think it will get better with time perhaps...?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How would you go about asking a man this, do you think perhaps i should say something before we start doing it like 'tell me to go slower if you feel you need to cum' the issue is he normally does it when he's in control not me :-P. I'd find it quite awkward to bring it up randomly in conversation bit it is quite a new relationship, do you think it will get better with time perhaps...?
    It won't get better with time. If you don't mention it then he'll be completely unaware that you are unhappy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How would you go about asking a man this, do you think perhaps i should say something before we start doing it like 'tell me to go slower if you feel you need to cum' the issue is he normally does it when he's in control not me :-P. I'd find it quite awkward to bring it up randomly in conversation bit it is quite a new relationship, do you think it will get better with time perhaps...?
    Well you'd have to ask about it with sensitivity, but it's not something you should brush over because it's relevant to your sex life.

    I think you should bring it up neutrally as I suggested, in a context where sex isn't about to happen, or hasn't just happened. Then you'll have had the discussion and sex can be more spontaneous when it does happen. It will stress him out if you discuss it too close to sex/pile on expectation. You'll kill the vibe if you talk seriously like that before you have sex.

    But simply asking him to go slower just before he orgasms will help and is not pressured. So that's not a bad idea at all. If you switch positions during sex, that'll help too.

    It will get better if you work on it together. He's obviously aware that it's a problem so I'd be surprised if he didn't expect you to bring it up. If you say that you're concerned because you want sex to be satisfying for both of you, that'll go down well. As long as you're not approaching it by referring to your own pleasure alone, he won't feel put out by the conversation.

    Here's some links which might help:

    http://uk.askmen.com/dating/love_tip..._love_tip.html

    http://uk.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/sextip17.html

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Updated: June 25, 2012
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